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Showoff.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I got my filthy monkey hands on a promotional copy of the upcoming Chemical Brothers singles collection. Here's the problem with the Chems - each single is very good, but it needs to be placed in a certain context for it to completely blow your puny human brain. For instance, "Leave Home," the opener from their debut Exit Planet Dust simply needs to blend into "In Dust We Trust" or another track or you feel like you've come THIS close to a climax that never happened. There's only a couple of exceptions to this general rule - "Hey Girl, Hey Boy" still cranks all by its lonesome and "The Private Psychedelic Reel" crackles and sparks at a fair clip. There's only one duff track on the whole CD - "Setting Sun," featuring one or the other Oasis brats (Noel?) caterwauling over a beat I heard on "Tomorrow Never Knows." They should have just used the instrumental, but that's my personal preference. Shocking was the non-inclusion of "Life Is Sweet," with Tim Burgess doing a great job on vox. Apparently the "real" edition that comes out is going to have a second CD with remixes picked by you, the fans. I don't remember saying anything to them about it, but I'm told that they had quite a few suggestions lobbed their way.

On my way to visit Lynn the other day, there was a girl crying on the bus. She wasn't crying like "Oh, my puppy is lost" or "Chuck is a filthy bastard who cheated on me"; we're talking full-on I've-been-stabbed-in-the-tender-bits-at-my-mom's-funeral sort of wailing and boy, what do you say to that? It's not like I, as a male, can say "Hey, what's wrong?" without looking like a prat that wants to get in her pants. Oddly enough, another young lady was mourning on the train this morning. Maybe I'm a general misery center, which would explain very many things.

Asked if he felt "exploited" by women who pursued him because of his physique, Schwarzenegger said, "No, I'd feel used only if I didn't get something out of it. If a girl comes on strong and says, 'I really dig your body and I want to fuck the shit out of you,' I just decide whether or not I like her. If I do take her home, I try to make sure I get just as much out of it as she does. The word exploited therefore wouldn't apply." Schwarzenegger later noted that once outside the gym, he forgets about bodybuilding: "I can look at a chick who's a little out of shape and if she turns me on, I won't hesitate to date her. If she's a good fuck, she can weigh 150 pounds, I don't care."

(Swiped from Warren, who linked from The Smoking Gun. Wow.)

Good god, there's a KLINGON party rock band. Geez.

When asked about No Kill I, Allen says simply, �I had no idea there were any other Star Trek bands besides Warp 11.�

Later, during a post-filming interview at the Old Tavern, Abe Lincoln dismisses the hype surrounding Warp 11: �Everybody knows you can�t go to Warp 11.�

Abe refuses to go to the bar for his own glass and drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon directly out of the pitcher and gets back to the Warp 11 issue. �You�d rupture your anti-matter containment field in a heartbeat. It�s completely preposterous,� he slurs.

Oh, good lord. Thanks to Doug and Warren Ellis.

The Shop ensured that I get this. Oh my god, it's beautiful. I'm such a nerd for loving it so much.

Thanks to Yannick on the Underworld Message Boards, here's some more information on that upcoming Underworld compilation. Interesting choices; not sure if I think 2CDs is enough. I think it's excellent they're putting the Lemon Interrupt tracks on there and "Spikee," which is most excellent. I really don't think we need "Born Slippy 2003," though. Unless they're remixing the original track from the "Lawnmower Single" (as Dan puts it), which would be nominally more interesting.

Underworld 1992-2002
2003.10.22 (Japanese Release. Rest of the world soonish.)

CD1
1. Big Mouth
2. Dirty
3. Mmm Skyscraper I Love You
4. Rez
5. Spikee
6. Dirty Epic
7. Dark & Long (Dark Train)

CD2
1. Cowgirl
2. Born Slippy
3. Pearl's Girl
4. Jumbo
5. Push Upstairs
6. Moaner
7. King Of Snake
8. Eight Ball
9. Two Months OFF

Underworld 1992-2002: Japan Only Special Edition DVD
1. Rez
2. Dark and Long
3. Born Slippy - Trainspotting Version
4. Jumbo
5. Two Months OFF
*DVD menu design BY TOMATO

"Born Slippy 2003"
1.Born Slippy 2003
2.Born Slippy 2003 - Paul Oakenfold Remix
3.Born Slippy 2003 - London Elecktricity
4.Born Slippy 2003 - Atomic Hooligan

Click for the hotness. Damn.

Disgusting post from Junk:

Tuesday, August 26th 2003 11:17:00, from Beaucoup Fish

OK, I've not had fast food in about 2 years. I'm hypoglycemic, which means
that I sometimes have to carry bagels, whatever with me in case my blood
sugar drops. So, one day I'm in the car with Kristin and HOLY SHIT I was
woozy. Felt like someone had smacked my head into a tiltawhirl and not
bothered to let me know in advance. So, we pull over. There's Taco Bell!

OK, so I haul my carcass in and get a bean burrito. Something that I know I
shouldn't have any issues with.

30 minutes later, I'm clutching the sides of the porcelain god while ichor
death spews from my exit-only port.

So, fuck Taco Bell.

[666 Prattle Pantsless For Christ] msg #56,307 (8 remaining) >

LONDON (Reuters) - Police have launched a manhunt for Batman, after a man dressed as the superhero beat another man unconscious outside of a cafe over the weekend.

"Police are hunting a man dressed as Batman who was involved in an assault in the early hours of Sunday morning," Thames Valley Police said in a statement on Monday.

(From diepunyhumans, and Doug, who mentioned it to me.)

This morning, after visiting the bagelry (is that a word) to get breakfast, I was wandering in the direction of the office when I saw a lovely young lady about 20 yards ahead of me. She was wearing a dress that seemed a throwback to the days of ancient Rome that tied on her shoulders. The wind picked up a bit (as it is wont to do) and the next thing I knew, I was looking at an unclothed breast. Attempting to not goggle at it, I promptly turned away and coughed as she adjusted herself. As I past her, I heard her mumbling something obscene about the designer of the dress that basically indicated what he could do with a particular bit of her anatomy.

I did have a bit more spring in my step as I made my way to 55 Court Street, I must tell you.

New UW photos from the London gig a while back.

Here's some from the second night.

Jeremy's selling some fine-ass stuff. You should give him your money. And admire his lovely descriptions and pictures.

Local synthpop icons Freezepop feature in the new Konami Karaoke game with their track "Science Genius Girl." You will celebrate with me. Yub-yub!

Scotto was very kind and sent me a corrected version of the Superman/Ali image. Here, you can view it in all its glory. The Hulk and he have corresponded, and it appears that the big green galoot is under the impression I owe him some money. Guy crashes on my couch for a couple of months, trashes the bathroom a dozen times, and expectes me to pay him $19 for some DVD that he probably took from the store without paying for anyway? God, the nerve.

Andy Fletcher talks about Depeche Mode's early years. Fascinating stuff, told with a great deal of humor and aplomb.

I don't remember this storyline.

I'm glad I found this. I was scouring the web earlier, looking for a postable copy.

In the fun category of "Boy, is Kevin slow on the uptake," we've got this item. For the last few weeks at work, I've been using Mozilla and I have to say it's the best thing to happen to browsers. It's got tons of tiny features that make my life easier (even while working) like tabs inside of the browser window, a pop-up killer that works, and it even let me import all my IE links without any muss or fuss. Great job, and it'll be what my next home machine uses.

The only minor minor thing is that the GoogleBar doesn't like it. Alas.

ALAN MOORE IS SO FUCKING STONED. But Karen Berger's kind of a cutie. Hm.

Underworld Discography. Very well done.

Wow, that Superman image sure is messed up. I think it needs a white background or something. Weird.

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Best panels to ever appear in a comic. From Superman Vs. Muhammed Ali, which you really should own.

UNDERWORLD CELEBRATE 10 YEARS
WITH THE RELEASE OF �ANTHOLOGY 1992 - 2002�

�ANTHOLOGY 1992 - 2002� - Released October 27th on JBO/V2

�BORN SLIPPY 2003� - Released October 20th on JBO/V2

Press Release:
The past 10 years for Underworld have been defining for dance music. They�ve been pioneers for 3 generations of clubbers and music fans, and those of us who�ve seen them live will never forget the experience. To celebrate this landmark achievement, JBO/V2 release �Anthology 1992 - 2002� - a double CD of their greatest records.

In conjunction to this, and due to popular demand, �Born Slippy� has been reworked by Underworld and remixed by Paul Oakenfold, London Elektricity and Atomic Hooligan. Their signature tune for many, this track defined a moment, and influenced the nation, and will surely be huge over the close of the summer.

Source: V2 Records // dirty.org

Tiny Underworld live photos. Check out Karl in the first one.

Two photos taken while on my way to the station to buy tickets the evening before the big Cape Cod Trip. The first one is for Liz, as she likes that sort of thing.

On my way to the Cape.

On the beach Day 1.

Sunday was a wash - we ended up going to a flea market and there was nothing worth my cash there outside of some comics for the shop. Photos would not be of interest.

On the beach Day 2. Weather was pitch-perfect, but I neglected high-SPF sunscreen and you'd mistake my back for bacon right now. Ewwww.

On our way back to Boston. We waited forever for the bus, as the schedule was a blatant lie. I looked way too tired to be photogenic. Kristin was awake, still.

Photos will be uploaded. I'm sunburned now, after that previous snarky, triumphant post.

I think I'm going to open a Star Wars themed eatery on the Cape and call it Admiral Snackbar.

Hey, Kristin thought it was funny.

Not sunburned. Hair fried from the ocean. Reading Cryptonomicron and
cackling out loud on the beach. Listening to records as kids run past.
Cheap old Sega portable gaming system with a lame game.

Shogun Warriors comics and old Kirby books at the flea market. Sitting in the dark watching the water's edge come closer to my feet and talking on AIM using the phone. Tomorrow I'm older but no wiser. Grey hairs aplenty.

A WIZARD? Damn, is there anything Saddam didn't have?

Yes, this is how I talk on the phone at work.

Why did it take them so long to figure this one out? God, guys. It's not hard. Do the math (literally!).

My total big disorientator. Will you be my big plaything?

I really do like the train. Some of these don't get big when you click. I'm testing resolutions.

Erin visits the shop and makes us all feel dumb. Sharp lass. More of that resolution testing.

(I swear, that last photo makes her look like she's saying "So, Thurston, shall we go to the cotton club to see the negroes play?" not that she ever would.)

Stupid Newbury Comics. Stupid Underworld putting out a Back To Mine. Stupid New Order putting out a DVD with both Taras Shevchenko and Reading '98 on it. Stupid me for spending money I don't quite have.

More pictures from Friday. Dunno why my camera just now decided to let me see them

They're in The Matrix or something. I love the lighting.

Pete, it's god. Stop touching yourself. (OK, yes, that's a Real Genius reference.)

Only 3 people will get the reference made in the filename.

GALACTUS. NEEDS. BEER. Eating planets builds up a mighty thirst!

I have sick friends.

Observed today:

A van moving through the crowded Boston streets with a URL reversed on its hood. No, not like AMBULANCE so that it appears to be right in your rear-view-mirror, but it was like COM.WHATEVERBUSINESSNAME.WWW or something. In this day and age, people still screw that kind of stuff up? I suppose it's like zip codes and some people still don't Get It. Getting It is not hard, but they don't wish to Get It. Grandmother Church totally forgets zip codes and I get my mail either a week late or not at all most of the time.

I've become a creature of habit. I tend to go to the same Finagle-A-Bagel location in Downtown Crossing and get the same bagel every work morning with a large iced tea. It's gotten to the point where the Spanish-speaking help doesn't have to ask me anything. Silvia will just raise her eyebrow and I'll nod and and hand over $4.26. One day I switched up and I swear, the entire place grew dead quiet. Silvia said "Kebbin, are choo shure you wants that?" and when I said I did, she actually looked like I'd told her I was mugged on my way in. I've decided that even if I don't want an onion bagel with lox spread, I'm going to order one going forward. I do miss swinging into Diesel Cafe in the mornings, but carrying a drink on the train tests my nerves, especially if I want to read.

I've decided that it is now a tossup between Cryptonomicron and American Tabloid (read the little preview there. Best opening line since Neuromancer.) as the winner of much-desired "Kevin's Favorite Novel." Cryptonomicron has everything I need in a book - Nazi submarines, hot women, large amounts of valuable metal, and hax0ring, but American Tabloid sells you 100% on its version of the Kennedy assasination. Neither of them is perfect, as they do not feature the line "Look out! It's a monkey! HE'S GOT A GUN!" like that Hellboy story did.

And this makes me worry even more. Christ, guys. Seriously. Kubert's a bad pick and Millar's lost a lot of respect in my book.

I have a bad feeling about the majority of these.

In the "Holy shit!" category:

pchemgirl: When I was little, my family won some contest (I really don't remember what) and the Iowa Pork Princess came to our house and delivered a huge amount of meat.

Two of my favorite hobbies are "talking about comics and science fiction" and "drinking beer." Pete helps me with both. What a guy.

Never say that the service is slow at my favorite pub. They've got the Speed Force on their side.

Are you there, God? It's me, Kevin.

This is Dave's wife Sue. I crush on her very very hard. Helluva lady.

What is wrong with this country? No, besides Bush and his Oil Cadre forcing some people to work harder for less money and invading other countries. I'm talking about the kids, the children. Tonight at the shop, I offered a young man of about 8 or so whose parents were dining next door a few free comics. No big deal, we get lots of books that there's tons of downstairs and we pitch them at kids. Gets them hooked young. First hit's free. I insist, tell him there's no catch. He tells me his mom doesn't let him talk to strangers. THEN WHY IS HE BY HIMSELF IN A SHOP? Anyway, he leaves and tells his mother, who comes in to bitch me out about offering her kid comics.

I want to say "Oh, fuck you, lady."

I do not. I know I have a few friends with kids out there and I have this warning - let your kids take free things from people who are in a public area like a store that sells those things. Back in my day, I'd have kneed a man in a groin if he'd offered me free things and taken the whole lot. Your kids are behaving a little too well now. (And I probably woulda socked him in the family jewels if he'd offered me candy to get in a black van, too.)

I've been getting these phone calls from a Potato Council out of Oregon. You guys kill me. Love you all.

From a post I made on Junk:

NOW, Injury Report. Mike Dempsey rammed a stick between the spokes of my
bike when we were paying Kirk Vs Klingons (shudup). Being 8, I flew quite a
distance and landed flat-backed in his yard. The breath was knocked out of
me and I stood up, panicking. I rushed him and when my lungs decided to work
again, I was screaming all the nasty words I'd learned on HBO the night
before. That's when he took the rock that was next to him and clobbered the
side of my face. My cheek went with it and THAT is when I got really mad.

If I really felt like finishing the story, you'd cringe. I was a vicious little monster.

I give up. I know who I'm voting for now. Howard Dean was tempting, but...

Working around the corner from the local Newbury Comics has proven to be bad for me. Today it was the Junior Senior album, the new reissue of Sonny Rollins' Volume 1 on Blue Note, and a used copy of The Cure's greatest hits with the bonus acoustic CD.

Oh, hi to my new friend Sarah. She has a cute kid.

Harlan Ellison may be a scary, cruel man, but he is much beloved as this indicates. Wow. That's a classy gift. now I want one.

I'm so ready for this.

Pal Aaron brought me further proof that Augie De Blieck must be prevented from writing about comics ever again. For the last couple of years, I've been assailed by his insipid not-quite criticism and keep hoping that he'll discover that "whizbang" isn't what tells a compelling story. This comment on the upcoming Hulk DVD says it all.

Universal Studios Home Video officially announced the specs for the HULK DVD, now due out on October 28th. Features include an audio commentary track by director Ang Lee.

How much cooler would an audio commentary by Stan Lee be? Can you imagine him expounding on The Hulk for two-plus hours?

Do you think Stan actually remembers anything about creating The Hulk? Hell, I don't remember what I had for dinner last night. (Oh, wait, I do. Chinese food again. Shudup.) Stan's a doddering old fart anymore and really, retirement would suit him. Maybe he owes Vegas a lot of dough for a badly-placed racing bet.

Oh, speaking of shame...I really like a certain track on the new BT album. It's the one that JC from N*Sync sings on. But...the production...is...so...GOOD. I can hear Dan laughing from here.

My hair looks god, but god damn this humidity is playing hell with my skin. I've got a zit the size of New Brunswick on the side of my nose.

Oh, about those CDs I made High School Girlfriend Jenn. Courtney wanted to know the track listing. Here you go.

PSB / JP 1
Home and dry. (Ambient Mix)
You only tell me you love me when you're drunk. (Live)
Always on my mind. (Live)
Being boring. (Live)
Walking on thin ice (Pet Shop Boys radio mix) // Yoko Ono
The boy who couldn't keep his clothes on.
Disco potential.
The truck driver and his mate.
I get along. (Live)
Red letter day. (Live)
Love comes quickly. (Live)
Go west. (Mings Gone West: 1st and 2nd Movements)
Jerusalem (Pet Shop Boys Mix) // Fat Les 2000
Home and dry. (Blank & Jones mix)
Girls and boys. (Live in Rio)

PSB / JP 2
West end girls. (Sasha remix)
Left to my own devices. (The disco mix)
Before. (Classic Paradise mix)
Can you forgive her? (MK remix)
Disappointed (808 State mix) // Electronic
I don't know what you want but I can't give it anymore. (The Young Collective mix)
Yesterday, when I was mad. (The RAF Zone mix)
Break 4 Love // Peter Rauhofer + Pet Shop Boys = The Collaboration
Positive Role Model.
Jealousy. (Extended mix)

OK, DC. Mark Waid. You two had a good idea with this new Superman: Birthright thing, but now you're retconning for the sake of getting a bump from Smallville. Now, I loves me some Smallville, but things have been a certain way. A way I'm not 100% happy with, but they were set and I accepted it. Now, all the sudden, you're telling me that Clark And Lex Were Pals, The "S" Logo Was All Over Krypton, aaaaand Martha Kent Had Email Ten Years Ago.

Guys, really. The crack pipe is not a toy. Stop it. One or the other. Either crush the Silver Age under your heels or not. It's only been a decade and a half since Superman's last reboot and you're doing it again. I'm NOT a continuity nut, but...one...or...the...other.

Courtney's grandfather has Alzheimer's. It's sad, but sometimes causes some hilarity.

*** Message (#94) from Ketone at 13:50 ***
>Fine, except we woke him from a nap and so he was kind of goofy.
>For example, I told him he had big shoes. He said: "I have big feet. I have
>a big mouth too."
>Which made my mom and me die laughing.

*** Message (#95) from Ketone at 13:51 ***
>However, he went on. (I should note that he kept calling my mom and me "he"
>... the short hair I think). "Big feet, big mouth, big ass, big penis."

Also read Unlikely the other day. I don't know what it is about Top Shelf, but they get me into things that I'd normally dismiss as twee or precious. A fine, fine imprint.

I read Thrillkiller this weekend and was enthralled. No idea why it took me so long. The people who review it on Amazon need to have their heads examined for the most part. Dan Brereton makes with the beautiful painting and his Batgirl is, quite frankly, hot in an Angelina Jolie way. That means she's scary and hot and you feel sort of bad for wanting to toss her around for a while like a bunny.

I also managed to read the last of Alan Moore's Swamp Thing run and it's just beautiful. It's weird to think that a romance between a muck-encrusted husk of a man and a slightly spaced-out woman would be as touching as it is, but Moore made it work, brilliantly.

I also used Lynn's iMac and iTunes to make CDs for Jenn Pahl, a fine lass that I've known for ages (since I was 14, in fact. Half my life, I've known her!) in exchange for some issues of the literary magazine we worked on together in high school. I'm fully expecting embarassment.

So, here's some pictures of Kristin. And Krispy Kreme.

Mike is one of the owners of the shop. Dave (see earlier entry) is another. Bob does not like having his picture taken. I think it's because he's always got blood splattered on his shirt and he doesn't want evidence out there.

RUN LITTLE MONKEY, RUN!

Be safe, little monkey!

I hope the monkey is safe.

Friday, August 29, 2003

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Monday, August 25, 2003

Friday, August 22, 2003

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Sunday, August 17, 2003

Friday, August 15, 2003

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Monday, August 11, 2003

Saturday, August 09, 2003

Friday, August 08, 2003

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Monday, August 04, 2003

Saturday, August 02, 2003

Friday, August 01, 2003

Ego.

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