What's that ladder leading to? New camera, low light.
Originally uploaded by BeaucoupKevin.

Late birthday gift from my folks: new camera! That's why I've not been posting to my flickr account so much, but that will soon change...once I get "MemoryStick Pro." Freaking Sony and their proprietary crap.

File Under: Lazy


You're a Post-Punk. You know 70s punk was cool, but
it was mostly just a stepping stone for the
greater intellectualism of what would come
after. The 80s were amazing. You quite possibly
have huge hair, and may wear lots of black.
Snare drums need reverb. Lots and lots of
reverb.


You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
brought to you by Quizilla

I wish I could come up with something to post. Sure, I could review Sara Ryan and Steve Lieber's Flytrap, informing you that for a mere $2, you could get in your hot little hands one of the just-plain-nicest comics I've had the pleasure to come across in a while. I could tell you that I always smile when I come across Lieber's art, as it's clean and to the point without being too minimal or realistic, and as I really loved the duo's previous comics collaboration, Me And Edith Head, this was one of those no-brainer purchases for me even if I'm not quite the minicomics maven that some people manage to be.

I could go into how the lead character's charming for reasons that Ryan points out on the back cover. I could mention that this is an enjoyably dense read that keeps your interest quite easily. But, instead, I'll say this. For $2 you get to see monkey in a dress.



I can't think of a better reason than that, frankly.

DesJones4FC
Originally uploaded by warrenellis.

Apparently Warren Ellis and I have more in common than I thought: we both appreciate a good beating with a blunt metal instrument.

I'm tired. I'm cranky. I don't want to think about variant covers or late series or expensive tchotskes that are going to be forgotten by their owners in a few short days in their quest to make sure they have more than the rest of the nerds crawling up the pile of crap that defines their lives more than family or friends or accomplishments of their own. Fuck them and fuck the companies that perpetuate this sort of behavior.

So. I'm going to tell you what I think is going to be good this week and while. Then, I'm going to retire to the room with the air conditioner and read this minicomic that Steve Lieber was kind enough to sell me and probably pass out until Kristin gets home from the Cape. Deal with it.

This is your
"Buy / Seriously Consider / Random Semi-Positive Comments" list
for the week of August 31, 2005.

Dark Horse

JUN050014 BPRD THE BLACK FLAME #1 (OF 6) $2.99

Stop whining about it not being "real" Hellboy or the lack of Mignola; Guy Davis could illustrate a chapbook relating the dangers of venereal disease and I would leap upon it and possibly maim anyone who try to took it from me.

JUN058085 SERENITY CASSADAY CVR #1 (OF 3) (NEW PRTG) (O/A) (PP #681) $2.99
JUN058086 SERENITY HITCH CVR #1 (OF 3) (NEW PRTG) (O/A) (PP #681) $2.99
JUN058084 SERENITY J G JONES CVR #1 (OF 3) (NEW PRTG) (O/A) (PP #681) $2.99

The people that come into the shop and ask "Hey, do you have Serenity #1?" do not care about variant covers or printings or anything like that; they just want to hurry up and read the damned thing before they retreat to their homes and further abuse an old duster so they can be an authentic Browncoat on the night that Serenity hits the big screen. This could have come a little faster, but good on Dark Horse for at least putting the singles out there while there's still some demand.

DC Comics

JUN050373 JLA CLASSIFIED #11 $2.99

I really quite liked the first issue of Ellis's story, even with Deranged Madman In Search Of Viagra taking the place of Perry White. I'm also a fan of both Ellis and Guice, though, so I may be cutting this a bit more slack than I would if it were, say, a Chuck Austen / Ron Garney story. I'm OK with that. I'm not embarassed about my prejudices.

JUN050385 SEVEN SOLDIERS SHINING KNIGHT #4 (OF 4) $2.99

And so the first Seven Soldiers miniseries ends with, hopefully, a helluva bang. Considering the dovetailing the other books have done with each other, I think I'm going to be pretty OK with the outcome.

JUN050386 SOLO #6 $4.99

I may not be crazy about some of the writers chosen for this particular outing in the Solo series, but is there any way I can resist a comic with a cover that manages to be playful and sexy quite like this? I posit that there is not.

Image

JUN051788 HERO CAMP #4 (OF 4) $2.99

I really hope they do a $7 digest version of this when it hits trade; it'd be a perfect series for a lot of kids. I'm pretty sure they won't, though, and I'll be forced to try to convince some parent that $14 for a really good read for their precious little spawnage isn't stupidly overpriced just because it's "only a comic book." How much did that video game system that has a lamprey-like grip on their cerebral cortex set you back, anyway?

Marvel

JUN052019 RUNAWAYS #7 $2.99

SWARM!

JUN052014 WHA HUH (RES) $3.99

There is one truly great joke in this book padded on both sides by lots of funky and fabulous Mahfood art and some writers and artists taking fairly tame potshots at each other. If I were a Livejournal sort, I'd say "Meh."

Other Companies What Make Comic Books

APR052728 HERO SQUARED #2 (OF 3) $3.99

Wow, that Joe Abraham getting his hands broken made his art, which I liked in the special, look even better now. By this logic, breaking his legs will make him an Olympic runner.

MAR053073 LOVE AS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE #3 (MR) $6.95

I like this. Does this mean I like shôjo now? Can someone who reads shôjo tell me?

JUN052940 OR ELSE #3 (MR) $3.50

I really hope I remembered to order this as I really, really adored the second issue. I'm very fond of forgetting things, so let's cross our fingers.

JUL052969 PURE TRANCE GN (MR) $19.98

Butcher really likes it and I feel like an ass for not picking it up at MoCCA, as everything I've seen from it looks brilliantly demented. I'm under the belief that it's either going to make my head explode or reduce me to a catatonic state with prolonged exposure. Sounds good to me.

JUL052551 SMOKE & GUNS GN $12.95

This has been reviewed by others who seemed to think it was pretty darn OK. I fell in love with Fabio Moon's art from the second I laid eyes on it, so it's halfway there already.

Now, for an excerpt from this gem that Cole Odell posted in the comments at Fanboy Rampage:

I can't understand why people find superhero comics done as steroid-enraged Chris Ware stories entertaining.

Amen, my spiritual brother who has no clue who I am. Amen.

My Magazine
Originally uploaded by BeaucoupKevin.

Busy today, so you can just go have fun with the Flickr Magazine Generator.

Genius Covers Sunday:
Special "I Was Gonna Do A Bunch of Kirby Covers
But Then Chris Showed Me Something And I Realized
I Can't Give Jack Enough Bandwidth For All The Covers
That He Did That Were Truly Genius, So I'm Posting This"
Edition.


Boy, that sure is something.

Today, as you probably don't know unless you care about this sort of thing, is Jack Kirby's birthday. He would have been 88. It's easy enough to get the basic biographic details, along with some great resources as far as his bibliography, so instead I'm going to tell you all what Jack means in regards to my perception of the medium. To be brief, it�s as simple as �comics=Jack Kirby� in my mind. Yes, there's many, many other excellent creators with long and storied careers, but I simply can't imagine comics without Kirby at Marvel and DC.

The matter of who created what in the early Marvel Universe is, of course, up for a lot of debate. Kirby's own stories varied wildly from having decided to save the company after walking in on Stan Lee crying over the fact that bankruptcy was looming to just accepting the Fantastic Four job as he would with any other western or monster or science fiction story Stan cranked out and not knowing or really caring about the script as long as the check didn't bounce. Here's what is a cold, hard fact, though: without Kirby, we probably would not have had the same Fantastic Four comic that captured so many young hearts and helped make superheroes cool again.

As Stan found himself busier and busier with his myriad responsibilities as editor-in-chief, huckster, and writer, the burden fell on Jack's shoulders (which already bore the weight of a full two-thirds of the company's artistic output) to create more and more from plots that were less and less defined, and create is exactly what he did. The Negative Zone! The Inhumans! Galactus! The Silver Surfer! Annihilus! All of these now long-standing characters and ideas came out of his imagination in a remarkably short amout of time in a single title, and mark the beginning of his most fertile period as a creator. His individual Marvel creations grew much larger than life and his art changed to reflect these concepts and the powers they contained, becoming more minimal while still imparting a sense of scale and urgency to the reader.

It's this near-constant sense of panic and clear depiction of action that defines the idea of what a superhero comic�s art should be for me. After departing Marvel for DC's promises of complete control, Jack's storytelling in both scripts and art became more and more epic, showing the boundaries of comics at the time by slamming against them and knocking them a few inches out of place. Only a few of the most ambitious of Kirby's Marvel creations would have fit well into his DC work. Long gone were the petty concerns of Johnny Storm, wondering if his hot rod was going to win the big race next weekend and in their place was a New God's realization that his father was a Space Hitler that made Odin look positively pacifistic. Making sure that we beat the Russians in space seems like a quilting bee compared to a mohawked soldier pumelling his way through a horde of enemies in the World Of Tomorrow.

Even after his DC titles were all canceled and he came back to Marvel in the mid-70s, his creative impulses were still slanted towards the grandiose. It seemed that Kirby wanted to know why, in his absence Captain America duked it out with second-rate villains when he could and should take on a high-level conspiracy armed with something called "Madbomb? " For whatever reason, a lot of the work from this material is derided by the fans, but I find myself capitvated by his ambiition: turning 2001 into a psychedelia showcase and remixing Chariots Of The Gods to create The Celestials. Sadly, he didn't quite fit into the Marvel of the time, where Steves Englehart and Gerber were leading a new direction that, while insanely creative, was much more self-aware and sardonic compared the earnest nature of Kirby's work.

It's after this second departure from the house he helped build that Jack's career fell into an irrecoverable retrograde. He tried publishing a few books that never got off the ground wih several companies and even came back to DC to wrap up his own New Gods saga as well as draw the (frankly, mind-numbing) Super-Powers tie-in comic along with a few pinups and occasional stories, but it was never the same for him.

Looking back, though, that decade-and-a half that bridged the Silver and Bronze Ages, when Jack was creating the new each and every month makes a lot of what's happening in mainstream superhero comics seem positively dull. Outside of Grant Morrison, I can't think of a single writer working at DC or Marvel that is intent on creation instead of maintenance, much like the Silver Age Superman stories that would occasionally excel, but most of the time seemed to be a matter of station-holding for the readers and characters.

Some would argue (just as I have, on occasion) that these companies are filling a need: to exploit pre-rendered universes to tell stories that the readers who like said universes will buy. There are some excellent writers who are very good at doing exactly that, but I'm missing Jack more than usual lately, and it's not out of nostalgia. Do I want to read comics stories featuring people aping Kirby�s more easily utilized tropes? No. I want people to take the lessons that each page of his best work can give and apply them in unique ways. It�s the best way to pay tribute to The King.

Don't Call It A Podcast.

(Because I have no idea how to do the requisite RSS feed yet and thought it was more important to say "Hey, look, about an hour of genre-hopping music that I decided to cobble together this morning for no particular reason.")

What do you get if you right-click to download this 65mb, 160kbps mp3?

"Home and dry." // Pet Shop Boys
"Modesty Plays" (12" Mix) // Sparks
"Debaser" // The Pixies
"Sweetsmoke" // Mr. Scruff
"Tiger Rag" (Live) // Louis Armstrong
"Magic Carpet Ride" (Fatboy Slim Mix) // Mighty Dub Katz
"Seven Nation Army / In Da Club" (Live) // Basement Jaxx
"That's When I Reach For My Revolver" // Moby
"Concrete And Clay" // Unit 4+2
"Yolk" // Family Soul
"I'm A Cuckoo" (by The Avalanches) // Belle & Sebastian
"You Can't Break A Broken Heart" // The 6ths
"Tequila" // Allen Toussaint
"Fly Hawaii" // Luke Vibert & BJ Cole

If you like it, let me know. I'll try to read all about this "podcasting" jazz soon, but I want to promise you one thing: you'll never have to hear my dull, slighly nasal voice doing intros on songs or talking at you concerning stuff you've already read about. Questions can go in comments or whatever.

Disclaimer: If, for any reason, a record label thinks I'm doing their artists a disservice by including them in an MP3 that will expose their to new listeners, all they have to do is ask and I will be more than happy to remove their portion of the download.

Dear Comics Blogger Internet,

Please stop fucking blogging about the comics blogger internet. Blog about comics. Talk about what excites you or what you hate. Review your purchases and favorites. Discuss your favorite superheroes or stories in minute detail. Leave metacommentary to Graeme at the Rampage and instead focus on entertaining and informing your readers.

You may refer to fine blogs such as Dave's Long Box and The Jack Kirby Comics Weblog and Dial B For Blog to see nostalgia done right. I'd also recommend taking a look at Johanna's site, among others on the left there to see people that I think add a good perspective to this medium.

Some people I really like have fallen to this habit of late and I'm sick and fucking tired of whining about whining.

Signed,
BeaucoupKevin

PS> Motherfucking Swarm shows up in next week's issue of Runaways. I no longer have an excuse to not buy this book, do I?

This is why I pay Kochalka $2 a month for American Elf.

Make sure that you look at the original and then read this.

Steranko (God love 'im) probably should have been told
to reconsider his choices when it came to shadow placement,
especially considering the turbulent social climate of the time.

What if... a government-sponsored Captain America clone was used to create low-budget patriotic cartoons?

"Do you think these As on my forehead stand for Alcoholics Anonymous?"

From here. Thanks, Michael.

You know, I don't want to complain or anything, but the fact that the third Queen And Country: Declassified miniseries (deftly written by Antony Johnston with Christopher Mitten doing the drawing end of things) had its final issue come out on the same week as the second issue of series creator Greg Rucka's second Q&C:D did not go unnoticed in certain circles, namely me.

I will say this, though, in some slight defense of Rucka's lateness in this matter. That Rick Burchett cat? He can fucking art an employee manual and I'd want to look at it. Some great storytelling on his part, combined with a story I find pretty neat (once I remembered what the hell was happening,) ameliorated the crankiness quite a bit.

Now, to gulp down the rest of my coffee and head off.

Written on the Palm at Diesel, 8:20am. I shoulda gotten an extra shot of espresso.

I feel like I've betrayed The Cause today, my friends. For some reason or another, the fact that Monkey In A Wagon Vs Lemur On A Big Wheel is put out by that small publishing concern that I love to hate, Alias, eluded me entirely. However, let's take out the whole "Mike S Miller makes my teeth ache" portion of the equation and evaluate this title on its own merits, shall we? There's a set of four dialogue-free stories in this well-stapled, nicely papered pamphlet: the title piece, a pirate tale called "Yo Ho Ho," the superlative cautionary gambling story "A Day At The Raises," and "Monkey Versus Lemuria," exploring the origins of a long-standing, apparently species-wide grudge, and you know what? This isn't a bad little thing at all.

While the nautical tale (baffingly enough) fails when it comes to cleverness (writer Tony DiGerolamo seems to lack in inherent absurdity that Ken Lillie-Paetz brings to his co-creation,) the rest of this book ably entertains while showing off the talents of artists Chris Moreno (the other co-creationatory sort) and Julie Faulkner. Lillie-Paetz really seems to run with the concept, allowing Moreno and Faulkner to indulge their cartoonish tendencies with absurd moments that reminded me of the more vicious Warner Brothers cartoons and referencing works as diverse as Charlotte's Web and Metropolis.

It's the uniform excellence of these other pieces that made me more disappointed in "Yo Ho Ho." DiGerolamo's story is more straightforward, yes, and Moreno's art is a thing to gaze upon in wonder, but it seems to miss the entire point of having a naval officer lemur defeat a monkey pirate on the high seas, which is to make me laiugh like a five year old. So, is the whole kit and kaboodle worth three American dollars? Not quite, but I am not really regretting the purchase, as 3/4 of this thing was right up my alley.

Now, to change the subject away from animal antics and to talk about science fiction espionage that's funny and enthralling at the same time. I've been trying to figure out how can I succinctly review the burst of fresh air that is Smoke, the final chapter of which came out this week. I finally came up with something that people in comics should do more often for the creators they like: express some gratitude.

So, thanks, Alex De Campi, for the future-shock script that never pandered while it entertained. Igor Kordey, your art was splendid. Yes, I'm gushing a bit, but I'm just so darn pleased with how it all came together in the end.

Now, to figure out if I'm actually going to review all the books I picked up this week...

Spend a moment looking at this little snippet from a Google ad. Now, tell me...are you shamed by you English?<sup>1

1</sup>(Scroll down. It's totally worth it. Hi, Campbell!)

Marisa Hilarides Simoes, 25, holds a wheel of her
prize-winning Serenita cheese.

Chronicle photo by Craig Lee.

I think I'm in love.
(Thanks, Alice.)

The original Daniel Clowes cover to the first Bizarro Comics anthology.
Found on Batfatty's blog.

Here's the latest mix I've put together. 45 minutes of choir boys, chunky beats, pop tunes that have gotten all fucked up, field recordings, and glitchy ambient can be yours if you right-click here and "save as." (65mb 192kbps mp3 file.) You'll note the highly-imaginative name of "August 2005."

Tracklisting? Sure, I'll do that:

"Always Remember to Respect And Honour Your Mother" // Dusted.
"Where's Johnny Sabatino?" // Dzihan & Kamien.
"Revolutionary Women Of The Windmill Part I" // Up, Bustle, And Out.
"Suzuki" // Tosca.
"Eva" (Instrumental Mix) // Heights Of Abraham.
"Physical" (UK Girls) // Goldfrapp.
"This Is Hardcore" (4 Hero Mix) // Pulp.
60 seconds of a Calcutta street.
"Toninas" // Berlin.

Let me know what you think.

I've been reading a fair amount of comics material from the 30s and 40s of late, thanks to rediscovering my copies of the (say it with me) stupidly out-of-print The Golden Age of Marvel Comics (a mere two volume set that could use expansion) as well as random DC 100-Page Giants and those rather awesome ACG reprints of Golden Age material. Here's what I have determined: modern superhero comics are fucking boring. Maybe it's the hypercompression of the stories (you're lucky if an origin sequence takes up more than six panels) or the fact that so many writers were churning out so much stuff that some of it had to be completely mental, but there's a pep and verve to this older material that no superhero title being made now can match, no matter how clever they attempt to be.

Let's take, for instance, the story from The Golden Age Of Marvel Comics Volume 2 about this cat named The Fin. The Fin is the sort of hero that has Roy Thomas unloading into his shorts with great glee when his name is mentioned in passing; he's a brawler who derives his strength from the ocean, where he can swim and swim and swim without needing to come up for air. Yes, it may sound similar to Namor and yes, he was created by the Submariner's very own originator, Bill Everett, but there's something that sets The Fin apart outside of his short lifespan (three appearances.)

His headgear¹. Check out that chapeau - this dude better be able to kick some ass quite thoroughly or else he's going to have schoolkids and pensioners following him, demanding some change in exchange for safe passage. It probably doesn't hurt that he's a lieutenant in the US Navy, either, as the toughening-up he received under their care has to have made sure that he can settle just about any dispute mere moments after initialization.

Anyway, back to this story. The Fin, having just walloped a Nazi pirate called The Barracude,is swimming in the briny deep and he happens to come across a sunken ship. He's down in the galleon and discovers what appears to be a haunted sword of some type, which he decides to chuck after having creepy sensations of some sort or another. It's only after throwing the cutlass and burying it in the thick steel hide of a cannon that he thinks "Wait. This here mystical artifact would be a great aid in my continuing quest to kick Nazi ass." (I may be paraphrasing.)

One thing leads to another, The Fin's back on shore, probably looking for a friendly port for the evening, if you get my drift, when he gets shangaied and placed onboard a Nazi spy ship, where he's taken away from his empowering water and forced to do menial tasks. It's when he's been placed in front of the ship's captain that The Fin makes a desparate break for freedom, grabs his haunted sword, and begins to emancipate the crew's vital organs from their bindings with great gusto.

In this ten-page story, there's four pages devoted to stabbing and wailing on the bad guys, with an additional couple featuring beatings and whippings as well as one spectacular bit where The Fin removes the Nazi Spy Ship's propeller with the aforementioned magical cutlass. There's not a single bit of wasted space here, and that's something I admire. Outside of somebody like Grant Morrison with his future-retro take on "mainstream" story structure, is there anybody else writing superhero comics now that devotes so much time to these characters doing what they do?

How many pages of a typical issue of a modern Superman comic feature the title character doing things that are, you know, Super? When you remove all the bitching and lecturing that Batman does anymore, you've got maybe a handful of pages dedicated to the character going out there, scaring the shit out of the bad people, and making sure Gotham is safe.

Don't even get me started on Spider-Man at this point in time. Jesus, even the Ultimate version sees less action than MODOK on Paradise Island. The Flash barely seems to show up in his own title, much less actually do anything, and the Teen Titans spend an awful lot of time ruminating about how awful it is to be hot, young, teen superheroes.

Yes, some superhero characters do work well with the 10 o'clock drama format - Daredevil comes to mind, for instance, but when did it become a goddamn major event when Iron Man suits up to kick some ass?¹

Maybe this is why I'm looking forward so much to more Scott Pilgrim or Corey Lewis's apparently-selling-poorly-in-preorders Peng. Maybe this is why I enjoyed Dead West and The Couriers so much. The comics I'd normally depend on for stupid amounts of gleeful action just aren't ponying up and my dollars are now going towards thing that give me that thrill and sense of wonder that I apparently need.

And no, Bendis, throwing ninjas into New Avengers isn't going to work for me, because they'll probably be accountant ninjas that bore the pants right off my broad posterior.

---

¹It was this or write about Citizen V's shorts, but...you know...

²An aside: I think this Ellis storyline is going to be a damned good graphic novel when published as a trade, but this "monthly" format is killing that shit like its name is Jason Todd. I wish they'd managed to just go and put out an OGN and let a regular monthly team of some kind get the character out there.)

Written at Diesel, on the Palm. Technology fucking rocks.

My comics shop helps kill comics.

I <3 Copybook Tales.

File under: It's Too Fucking Early For This.

God says:

Thou shalt not kill.

Pat Robertson, "Christian" Broadcaster says:

Let's go assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez because his country can become a hotbed of Muslim extremism and "Communist infiltration."

You know, I am down with Jesus, but some of his followers can go right to the hell they believe in so fervently. Tell me, Pat, should we kill Chavez before or after all the gay people get burned at the stake and the pro-choice doctors are stoned in the street? For someone who seems to think that extremism is so wrong, you exemplify the very worst traits of it yourself, you hubris-riddled hypocrite.

And who the fuck is still worried about the communists, anyway? I mean, yeah, I miss them because they gave us Red Dawn and From Russia With Love, but I think we've seen that, with very few exceptions, human nature trumps the ideology presented by Marx every. single. time.

OK, I have to get a cup of coffee now and read something mind-numbing or the rest of the day is going to be spent with me mumbling constantly and slapping anyone who resembles a religious neoconservative. (Thank god I live in that liberal hellhole known as Massachusetts, huh?)

Killing Comics? What's killing comics?
This shit. That's what. It's all coming out
Wednesday, August 24th, so look out!

Dark Horse / DC / Marvel

Light week. Nothing egregious or offensive.

Image

JUN051837 FRANCIS MANAPUL WITCHBLADE #75 LITHO $19.99
JUN051838 FRANCIS MANAPUL WITCHBLADE #75 LITHO SGN $29.99
MAY051594 TERRY DODSON WITCHBLADE #88 LITHO SGN $29.99

Oh, piss off.

Other Companies

JUL052701 BRIAN PULIDOS LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE #1/2 EMPRESS CVR $5.99
JUL052699 BRIAN PULIDOS MEDIEVAL LADY DEATH BRING IT CVR #2 $5.99
JUL052700 BRIAN PULIDOS WAR ANGEL HELLS BELLE CVR #1 (OF 3) $5.99
APR052840 DF RED SONJA RUBI ALT CVR #1 $10.00
MAY052729 DF WEAPON X DAYS OF FUTURE NOW #1 SGN $19.99
APR052868 DF WILDSIDERZ #0 DOUBLE SGN $49.99
JUL052695 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE MOONLIGHT CVR #1 (OF 4) $5.99
JUL052696 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE PRISM FOIL CVR #1 (OF 4) $12.99
JUL052757 LADY DEATH DEATH GODDESS COMM ED $5.99
JUL052694 LADY DEATH DEATH GODDESS TIGHT SQUEEZE CVR $5.99
APR052658 FATHOM #1 LTD ED SIGNED PRINT $34.99

The usual. It's all just eye-fuckingly bad and just plain tiresome anymore. The people that buy this shit won't read my blog and the people that read my blog won't buy this shit, right? Right?!? The morons who buy into this shit, who convince themselves that a sheaf of paper wrapped in a piece of slightly shinier paper that may have extra cleavage or a bit of foil is worth more because it costs them more and is supposed to be "rare?" They deserve to lose every dime they toss at comics junk-bond companies that manipulate them with loose and spurious claims of scarcity. When they're trying to convince some sucker on eBay or a shopowner that these are a fucking investment, goddammit and they earn, literally, pennies on the dollar and wonder why the fuck they got started with "collecting" comics instead of reading some of the amazing stuff that's out there, I'm going to feel even better about this medium and how darwinism may just take care of the stupid.

Yeah, it's kind of petty, but I'm like that.

Good stuff this week?
Picks, you might say?

DC Comics

JUN050339 CATWOMAN WILD RIDE TP $14.99

The last trade from the "good" artists on the book working with Brubaker, this is a good bet for good, pulpy, superhero-related action. The Relentless trade may have gotten a little thick on the violence, but this is probably going to be the flip side and, hell, there's Wildcat for those of you who like your big, hairy boxers who are just past middle-aged.

JUL050303 HISTORY OF VIOLENCE NEW TP NEW EDITION $9.99

I finally snagged a copy of the original Paradox Press printing (say that three times real fast) a couple of weeks ago and can recommend it, even if I hope that the movie tweaks a few things. The comic feels a little too lifelike, especially in its final act, where it moves towards a wholly unsurprising and slightly unsatisfying ending. Still, when it comes to mood and tone, it's a thing to behold.

JUN050369 JACK CROSS #1 $2.50

See below.

JUN050349 SUPERMAN THE MAN OF STEEL VOL 4 TP $19.99

Sure, I may have my problems with some of the Byrne material (you do not tear the fucking cape, goddammit!) but the pocket universe Superboy story presented in here is fan-fucking-tastic. I mean, check this cover out!

Image

JUN051784 GROUNDED #2 (OF 6) $2.95

I really, really liked the first issue and hope that it keeps it up or I will be like a lover scorned, writing hateful notes and boiling its bunny.

Marvel

JUN052003 DAREDEVIL #76 $2.99

Jesus, shit, damn, and fuck! Bendis got his groove back, baby. There's a very logical, very well handled bombshell in this one. I hope this isn't a blip.

JUN052016 MEGA MORPHS #2 (OF 4) $2.99

This is so stupid it is genius.

No, really. You've not lived until you've seen a mind-controlled Hulk running a giant mecha, bellowing that the mission objectives must be met as he smashes down Giant Transforming Spider-Man-Bot. Your eyes have now known brilliance until you've seen Wolverine's robot plane (!!) extending its claws (!!!) to slice through a group of Giant-Sized Doombots (!!!!) as he delivers a pithy wisecrack. Read it and put it back on the shelf and wait, for in a few years, you'll find this in a fifty cent bin and pay what it's worth and you will revel, my friend.

Other Companies

JUN053097 BANANA SUNDAYS #2 (OF 4) $2.99

Good comic makes Kevin's heart smile. *sleeps*

APR052730 GIFFENS WHAT WERE THEY THINKING ONE SHOT $3.99

Previews says: Keith Giffen re-writes and re-mixes a classic Wallace Wood WWII comic in the tradition of Mystery Science Theater 3000! With Woody providing the eye-searing art, Giffen comes in and re-writes the dialogue in his classic Ambush Bug and Lobo style! Kevin Church will spaff himself with great shuddering bouts of laughter!

I may be making up that last sentence, but I'm pretty sure it's true.

JUN052962 HANK KETCHAMS COMPLETE DENNIS THE MENACE 1951-1952 HC $24.95

I want to get started with these but I can't justify it right now. Stupid money.

JUN053288 MIDDLEMAN #2 (OF 4) $2.95

Once again, a case of me really liking the first issue and hoping it keeps it up.

MAY052419 MONKEY IN A WAGON VS LEMUR ON A BIG WHEEL #1 $2.99

I really, really hope that this caught my eye and I ordered it, just for the freakin' awesome title alone. Turns out it's an expanded version of a story told in the CBLDF's Even More Fund Comics anthology. Check out some of the art here. It looks like it's ten kinds of awesome.

OK, that's it. My eyes are tired and outside of the complete first and second seasons of TJ Hooker are apparently on DVD and the fact that Previews and The Comics Journal are both shipping this week, there's not much else for me to glean from the shipping list. Except maybe for these:

MAY053624 RUPAUL GLAMAZON DOLL $59.99
MAY053625 RUPAUL RED HOT DOLL $59.99
MAY053626 RUPAUL SUPERMODEL DOLL $59.99

And with the image of me singing very loudly to Donna Summer tunes as my RuPaul doll and I boogie down, I leave you.

Being a bed-wetting liberal with a deep love of a good espionage / spy story has always presented me with a certain difficulty, as the modern writers that embrace the genre tend to think that Ronald Reagan should be carved into Mt Rushmore. Maybe this is why I so thoroughly enjoyed the first issue of Warren Ellis�s new DC title Jack Cross, as his political leanings make mine look positively neoconservative but he still thinks that the idea of an intelligence operator (or spy-turned-private eye, in the case of Desolation Jones) doing what needs to be done is still compelling.

Jack�s not James Bond: he lives under the good graces of several government agencies even as he criticizes their methodologies (DHS, in particular, gets a solid kick to the crotch.) There's a particular scene that I found particularly affecting: Jack performs a brutal interrogation and then finds himself literally sick at his actions. The first issue may seem sort of spare when you look at the seemingly-few actions presented, but much like MI-5 / Spooks, there�s extra layers and nuance to every bit of dialogue. Agendas are in play and people are getting hurt to do what�s perceived as "right," and Jack doesn�t necessarily like the system that he�s inserted himselve into.

Ellis�s dialogue, while having a distinct pitch, never falls victim to the Millar syndrome. If anything, it�s akin to Aaron Sorkin�s - everybody speaks in an idealized manner that shows that they�re thinking beings. Gary Erskine, while not my favorite artist, does pretty darn well, excluding one awkward-looking kiss. His storytelling may still be a little stilted, but it�s clear that he knows how to get from A to B. I do hope that a regular gig like this can help him loosen up in regards to facial expressions and body language. Ellis does tend to write towards artist�s strengths, so I�m pretty sure the readers will see some development.

Jack Cross #1 comes out this Wednesday and you should give it a look - it�s not flashy like 24, but I think it could be ultimately more rewarding.

Genius Covers Sunday: The Addendum


P\/\/N3D by Teddy Ruxpin!

Genius Covers Sunday Presents:
The Good, The Bad, and The Totally P\/\/n3d!!!
(Some knowledge of 1337 required.)

The Punisher? P\/\/n3D!!!

P\/\/n3d b`/ d00|\/|!!! j00 r fux0red!


P\/\/n3d b`/ 5adda|\/| !!

Cable? P\/\/n3d!!!

Hulkz0r 0\/\/n5 j00!

Daredevil = Blind + P\/\/n3d!!!

\/\/hy j00 w3ar th053 sh4d3s und3r j00r mask, j0?


B4D K177`/!!!!

Captain America = Defender of P\/\/n4ge + L1b3r7`/!!!

T|-|at's 0|\|3 \/\/4`/ to dr1p dr`/!!!

The Fantastic Four = The P\/\/n3d Family Of The
Marvel Universe.

500p3r 5kru11 p\/\/nag3 sux0r f0r j00!

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Gets
Totally P\/\/n3d \/\/henever h3 c4n!

H3's a11 l1ke "0h, 5hi7!!!"


\/\/4ke up, Spider-p\/\/n!!


A5l33p + p\/\/n3d agai|\|!!!!

To prove I'm fair and balanced, here's some DCU P\/\/n4ge.


(Thank you, Mike Sterling.)

(To the rest of you, I'm sorry I did this.)

Offered without any sort of pithy comment concerning how much I'd pay to see this sort of thing happen with a certain President's offices:

An unusually large group of Rhesus macaque monkeys, who seem to share the space with ministers and bureaucrats in New Delhi, are causing havoc at government offices.

The increasingly aggressive animals swing effortlessly between the offices of the defence, finance and external affairs ministries, and have even been spotted in the Prime Minister's office, government officials say.

The monkeys, who barge into government offices, stealing food, threatening bureaucrats, and even ripping apart valuable documents, are virtually unstoppable.

You can read the rest of this article here.

Graeme is all like "Yo, it's time to call Kevin out and make him do this meme because I'm like that." I like Graeme a lot, so...

1. Ten years ago:

Dull, soulless dance music, usually played at an ear-splitting volume. Stupid decisions involving women. There was probably some drinking of the legal variety.

2. Five years ago:

26 is such a vague birthday. I'm sure Kristin and I did some stuff. She will tell me that we had an awesome time and remember every detail.

3. One year ago:

The red blinking light in my palm dimmed forever and I became a runner.

4. Yesterday:

Work stress.

5. Today:

Go Kevin. It's your Birfday.

6. Tomorrow:

Friday means bourbon and Battlestar Galactica and some comics-reading and thinking.

7. Five snacks I enjoy:

Diesel's selection of pastries (any of them.) That really dodgy pre-made Chex mix. Sour Patch Kids. Grape Nut ice cream. Buns from Yi Soon bakery over in Allston. (Booze is not a "snack," is it?)

8. Five bands I know the lyrics of most of their songs:

Pet Shop Boys, Erasure, Underworld, Depeche Mode, New Order. I could go on, you know.

9. Five things I would do with $100,000,000:

Convert a large sum of it into golden coins so I could do Scrooge McDuck-styled diving and cackling. Set up my own publishing firm to put out comics I like, maybe even write one. Huge music festival with loads of bands I like. Set up a charitable trust for literacy. Create ultimate home theater.

10. Five locations I'd like to run away to:

London. Tokyo. New York. An island with high-speed internet, gentle breezes, sand dunes, salty air, and a fully-stocked bar. San Francisco.

11. Five Bad Habits:

Poor food choices. Lack or voluntary exercise. Not focussing on work of any kind as much as I should. Being a little too loud and direct when I should learn to shut up. Sarcasm, Kristin would say.

12. Five things I like doing:

Reading, writing, sleeping, talking codshit with friends, thinking about mediums I enjoy and why.

13. Five TV shows I like:

Battlestar Galactica, The West Wing (first two seasons), Justice League Unlimited, The Office, and The Daily Show, (especially when Lewis Black is on.)

14. Famous People I'd like to meet, living or dead:

Jack "King" Kirby, John Coltrane, Neil Tennant, Grant Morrison, and Karl Hyde.

15. Biggest joys at the moment:

Comics, really, are kicking my ass. I may bitch about the various things I hate, but there's so much really excellent material coming out of late. People in my life have been excellent of late.

16. Favorite toys:

I have stopped collecting toys and given away huge chunks of my collection. I do keep my Lego Erasure and Pet Shop Boys sets in a place of pride, along with that Dark Knight Returns Batman figure. As far as grown-up things go, I totally wanna make out with my Palm.

I shan't designate specific meme victims. Five of you choose among yourselves to keep this going.

I started working on A Thing this morning. Here's the bit I came up with, which I'm not sure I am quite happy with, but sometimes, people want to know just what the hell I spend my time writing.

The bitter convenience-store fakkuccino burned its way up Detective Saul Berg's esophagus, expressing its displeasure at being withheld in a spectacular belch that caused his partner, Annette Fingeroth, to smack the back of his head in the familiar manner of the Jewish mother he'd never had. The perp they'd rounded up just prior to his coffee stop moaned in the back seat, shifting for the first time in the half-hour since they'd tossed his apparently-dead carcass into the vehicle.

"Ow." It never hurt when she did that, not in the six years that they'd shared the Ford Analog the department was kind enough to provide.

"It costs maybe thirty cents more to get a real coffee from one of those fair-trade kiosks in the pedmall. Why do you go for that foul shit each and every time?"

"Foul shit it may be, but that was my fuel when I was working a beat and you can't tell me that any Ethiopian dingleberry deluxe is going to keep me awake nearly as well." He depends on that comfortingly awful petrol burn just like he depends on Annette to make sure his ass didn't get shot off on a regular basis. Saul may not be the brightest detective in his East Coast city, but he certainly would never be called a coward.

It was one of his sporadic moments of bravery that was the reason they were driving back to headquarters. While undergoing the weekly ritual of interrogating a certain Vietnamese bootleg dealer about his supplier, their heads had both snapped around at the sound of a wet, meaty slap that preceeded a Fay Wray imitation that was going have their ears ringing for the rest of the night.

They'd burst through the paper-thin door separating Nyugen's storefront from his residence just in time to stop the second plunge of a knife that seemed to have been regularly used in the service of high-end meatcutters that particularly hated their job and wanted the long-dead animals to suffer a little more somehow.

Without thinking (as was his wont,) Saul tackled Nyugen's pimp progeny from the side as Annette rushed to take care of the FOB adolescent that he was torturing for a reason they preferred to not imagine. Two quick blows to the boy's temple had rendered him insensate, which made Saul happy enough. Annette wrapped her coat around the girl and led her into the front room just as Nyugen attempted to burst past her to commence his "I-no-speak-Engrish-not-know-he-a-pimp" routine.

Saul hated that routine, so the fact that Annette whispered something violent and possibly illegal in his ear to get him to shut up was greatly appreciated.

Nyugen's boy moans in the back seat and immediately begins slamming into the glass, cursing in a patois that covered at three continents (four if you counted Portugese being spoken in Brazil.)

"Hey, hey, hey, Nature Boy. Knock it off." Annette snarls in her slightly bull, completely dykish manner. "That girl's going to need some serious reconsurgery to take care of that sick shit you did to her arm, so don't even act like you've been beaten or you'll get to spend some time in a quiet cell witha few members of the Overfiend gang."

Nyugen's son stops his thrashing and cursing just long enough to explode all over the car's back seat; raspberry jelly flies everywhere. Saul is too shocked to even register the event until the smell of iron and burned hair hits his nostrils and he has to pull over to vomit.

"That's the third one in a month." Annette announces as she hands him a hankerchief with an embroidered A on one corner.

He wiped his mouth for a moment. "This has become A Thing, hasn't it?"

She nodded. "You know we'll get assigned to this Thing, too. Our docket is the closest to clean in the office."

"I know. Shit." Saul flipped open his cell to get the Crime Scene Kids to their location.

I give you:

Robotech's salute to the 60th anniversary of the UN.

(Apparently, there's a new series on its way to DVD. Huh.)

(Oh, yes, I turned 31 about 6 hours ago, since I apparently decided to enter the world at 1:15 in the morning, making sure to keep my mother up. Whiskey and dancing girls to the usual address, please.)

James Turner's Rex Libris is the densest comic I've read in a long time. This first issue not only features our titular hero getting into a fight with a samurai demon and dealing with the administation of the Middleton Public Library (the best damn bibliostorage facility in the world,) the readers also get to savor the most historically rich, fitfully funny origin story I've ever come across. Add to this heady mix some hilarious running commentary from the "writer and editor" chronicalling Rex's adventures through space and time and you've got my pick of the year for indie comics with an intellectual bent that use vector art. (Wait, wasn't that title already occupied by Turner's Nil?)

KRISTIN IS VERY PRETTY. (She made me write that because I'm delaying burrito retrieval.)

You should only buy Frank Espinosa's Rocketo if you want to know what it's like to dive headlong into a rich fantasy world that mixes and matches genres and influences effortlessly while creating a unique feel.

I know, you probably were going to go read Ultimate Waffle-Dude X instead. That's fine.

Written on the Palm at Diesel around 7:45. We later had tasty Anna's action.

I helped the Hulk redesign his diary. You can click here to see it. I think it pops nicely.

In a mood, thanks to work insanity and impending dottering-old-manitude on the 18th.

However, the mood does dissipate when I listen to the 12" mix of "Go West" by Pet Shop Boys. (Right-click to download 12.9mb 192kbps mp3.) I especially love the way it goes into old-school rave insanity around the 6:20 mark. Has anybody got any veras? Lovely.

This is the entirety of today's posting, most likely, unless I get a bug up my ass and decide to tackle Marvel and Image's solicitations.

This Is Why I Do Not Click ON E! Links From Google News
At Work, Part 23:

Diddy Drops the P.
by Sarah Hall
Aug 16, 2005, 1:30 PM PT

"It's the era of Diddy."

So proclaimed the hip-hop impresario formerly known as Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, Puffy and now P. Diddy on NBC's Today show Tuesday, as he explained that he was changing his name once again.

The rap mogul last switched it up--from Puff Daddy to P. Diddy--in 2001, while seeking a "fresh start" after being acquitted on gun charges.

As for what brought about the latest change in moniker, the entertainer admitted that his previous name change left his fans uncertain of how to address him.

"I felt like the 'P' was getting between me and my fans and now we're closer," Diddy said.

"During concerts, half the crowd is saying 'P. Diddy'--half the crowd is chanting 'Diddy'--now everybody can just chant 'Diddy.'"

It's time to do DC's November solications (even if I skipped October's.) Let's keep this short and sweet, because daddy wants to get this over with so he can get back to watching amateur asian porn Another Thin Man. We'll do it by the weeks that they're coming because, hey, that's in the order that they've put them up.

On sale the week of November 2nd.

DC

Jonah Hex #1 and Showcase Presents: Jonah Hex Volume 1. I've become a little more intrigued by the Western genre since I obeyed certain people's hounding and started watching Deadwood as I happened to find myself rediscovering watching the Man With No Name movies that Eastwood produced with Sergio Leone, so I am looking forward to this quite a bit. The few Hex-related stories I've read have all been enjoyable enough, as he's a mean sumbitch and mean sumbitches make me pretty durn happy.

Seven Soldiers: The Bulleteer begins and it's not like I could say a single nasty thing about the teaming of Grant Morrison and the radically-improved-in-the-last-few-years Yanick Paquette, right? Right. Plus, hey, boobies. I'm a simple man, aren't I?

Wildstorm

Desolation Jones #4 streets, which means I'll probably get a few more moments of pure comics joy.

Smax has a softcover come out, which means that Top Ten fans wondering at his behavior in the first issue of the new mini will get a few answers.

On sale the week of November 9th.

DC

Gotham Central ties into the Day of Vengeance series in the only way it can: by hurtling rocks and debris at the citizens of Gotham, who will all scream out "Holy fucking shit it's the end of the world!" as one of the detectives tries to get back to his family. I've always wanted a crossover with huge events along these lines since reading Marvels and desiring more bloodlust and stupid loss of life..

Infinite Crisis has a second issue. I yawn. I'm sure I'll read it in the shop, but this whole rigamorale has left me so cold of late. What's sad is that I can admire the dedication this has taken from everyone involved, but still find it wholly unappealing.

Vertigo

100 Bullets gets to lucky 66 and I find myself really liking that cover design.

DMZ, Brian Wood's latest series that reminds everyone how deeply he loves the idea of a dark near-future New York City, has its first issue and I'm pretty sure that I'm onboard unless he's managed to suddenly become very, very bad at what he does.

Wildstorm

Danger Girl: Back In Black #1. I think my stupidly long affair with J Scott Campbell's group of hot secret agents is done, especially as his quirky, anatomically incorrect art that I like for some reason is no longer a selling point.

When The Winter Men #4 comes out, we'll probably be in the midst of our first serious cold snap. I think that's going to be appropriately chilling. I should buy a good bottle of Vodka as a companion for this series that I seriously hope maintains the quality shown in the first issue; I'll be disappointed greatly if it slumps.

On Sale the week of November 16th.

DC

ALL-STAR SUPERMAN #1!!!!

Oh, and there's some other stuff, too. Whatever.

(Seven Soldiers: Frankenstein, bitches!)

Wildstorm

Top Ten: Beyond The Farthest Precinct #4 has one hideous cover. I think it's because I just don't like purple that much, which can seem sort of petty, I guess. I don't really care, as I'll still read the shit out of it.

On Sale the week of November 23rd.

DC

I Can't Believe It's Not The Justice Leage gets a trade and even if the jokes were spread a little thinner this time around, I enjoyed it quite a lot - sort of like one of those Carol Burnett Show greatest hits reels, and don't tell me you don't stop to watch a few of those skits.

Jack Cross has its first storyline wrap up. C'mon, it's Ellis and Erskine. Like I'm not going to jump on that.

Vertigo

Loveless has its sophomore issue and my western quota for the month is met nicely, especially with the duo of Azzarello and Frusin handling matters. I'm sort of tempted to just go for trades with this, but I would like to get the complete run if it falls (as I suspect it will) to the cancellation bug like other short-lived Vertigo projects I enjoyed (American Century or Deadenders, anyone?)

This will make people feel more than their usual loathing for me, but I gave up on Y: The Last Man out of frustration at the "and they were going and going and going..." storyline that never seemed to give me any more than the vaguest hints at what the end point may or may not end up being. I guess this means that there's going to be one more copy of Y: The Last Man, Volume 6: Girl On Girl for the rest of you.

On Sale the week of November 30th.

DC

Ellis's JLA Classified storyline has its penultimate issue, while I'm on the subject of cranky British writers.

Wildstorm

Albion gets to its (I believe) final issue, which means that I may or may not declare it worthy in the end. So far, I've been liking it well enough, but I also liked the second season of Smallville an awful lot until it decided to hump the shark while asking it who was a big boy, so I'm suspicious about some things.

I'm pretty sure it's wr