What's that ladder leading to? New camera, low light.
Originally uploaded by BeaucoupKevin.

Late birthday gift from my folks: new camera! That's why I've not been posting to my flickr account so much, but that will soon change...once I get "MemoryStick Pro." Freaking Sony and their proprietary crap.

File Under: Lazy


You're a Post-Punk. You know 70s punk was cool, but
it was mostly just a stepping stone for the
greater intellectualism of what would come
after. The 80s were amazing. You quite possibly
have huge hair, and may wear lots of black.
Snare drums need reverb. Lots and lots of
reverb.


You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
brought to you by Quizilla

I wish I could come up with something to post. Sure, I could review Sara Ryan and Steve Lieber's Flytrap, informing you that for a mere $2, you could get in your hot little hands one of the just-plain-nicest comics I've had the pleasure to come across in a while. I could tell you that I always smile when I come across Lieber's art, as it's clean and to the point without being too minimal or realistic, and as I really loved the duo's previous comics collaboration, Me And Edith Head, this was one of those no-brainer purchases for me even if I'm not quite the minicomics maven that some people manage to be.

I could go into how the lead character's charming for reasons that Ryan points out on the back cover. I could mention that this is an enjoyably dense read that keeps your interest quite easily. But, instead, I'll say this. For $2 you get to see monkey in a dress.



I can't think of a better reason than that, frankly.

DesJones4FC
Originally uploaded by warrenellis.

Apparently Warren Ellis and I have more in common than I thought: we both appreciate a good beating with a blunt metal instrument.

I'm tired. I'm cranky. I don't want to think about variant covers or late series or expensive tchotskes that are going to be forgotten by their owners in a few short days in their quest to make sure they have more than the rest of the nerds crawling up the pile of crap that defines their lives more than family or friends or accomplishments of their own. Fuck them and fuck the companies that perpetuate this sort of behavior.

So. I'm going to tell you what I think is going to be good this week and while. Then, I'm going to retire to the room with the air conditioner and read this minicomic that Steve Lieber was kind enough to sell me and probably pass out until Kristin gets home from the Cape. Deal with it.

This is your
"Buy / Seriously Consider / Random Semi-Positive Comments" list
for the week of August 31, 2005.

Dark Horse

JUN050014 BPRD THE BLACK FLAME #1 (OF 6) $2.99

Stop whining about it not being "real" Hellboy or the lack of Mignola; Guy Davis could illustrate a chapbook relating the dangers of venereal disease and I would leap upon it and possibly maim anyone who try to took it from me.

JUN058085 SERENITY CASSADAY CVR #1 (OF 3) (NEW PRTG) (O/A) (PP #681) $2.99
JUN058086 SERENITY HITCH CVR #1 (OF 3) (NEW PRTG) (O/A) (PP #681) $2.99
JUN058084 SERENITY J G JONES CVR #1 (OF 3) (NEW PRTG) (O/A) (PP #681) $2.99

The people that come into the shop and ask "Hey, do you have Serenity #1?" do not care about variant covers or printings or anything like that; they just want to hurry up and read the damned thing before they retreat to their homes and further abuse an old duster so they can be an authentic Browncoat on the night that Serenity hits the big screen. This could have come a little faster, but good on Dark Horse for at least putting the singles out there while there's still some demand.

DC Comics

JUN050373 JLA CLASSIFIED #11 $2.99

I really quite liked the first issue of Ellis's story, even with Deranged Madman In Search Of Viagra taking the place of Perry White. I'm also a fan of both Ellis and Guice, though, so I may be cutting this a bit more slack than I would if it were, say, a Chuck Austen / Ron Garney story. I'm OK with that. I'm not embarassed about my prejudices.

JUN050385 SEVEN SOLDIERS SHINING KNIGHT #4 (OF 4) $2.99

And so the first Seven Soldiers miniseries ends with, hopefully, a helluva bang. Considering the dovetailing the other books have done with each other, I think I'm going to be pretty OK with the outcome.

JUN050386 SOLO #6 $4.99

I may not be crazy about some of the writers chosen for this particular outing in the Solo series, but is there any way I can resist a comic with a cover that manages to be playful and sexy quite like this? I posit that there is not.

Image

JUN051788 HERO CAMP #4 (OF 4) $2.99

I really hope they do a $7 digest version of this when it hits trade; it'd be a perfect series for a lot of kids. I'm pretty sure they won't, though, and I'll be forced to try to convince some parent that $14 for a really good read for their precious little spawnage isn't stupidly overpriced just because it's "only a comic book." How much did that video game system that has a lamprey-like grip on their cerebral cortex set you back, anyway?

Marvel

JUN052019 RUNAWAYS #7 $2.99

SWARM!

JUN052014 WHA HUH (RES) $3.99

There is one truly great joke in this book padded on both sides by lots of funky and fabulous Mahfood art and some writers and artists taking fairly tame potshots at each other. If I were a Livejournal sort, I'd say "Meh."

Other Companies What Make Comic Books

APR052728 HERO SQUARED #2 (OF 3) $3.99

Wow, that Joe Abraham getting his hands broken made his art, which I liked in the special, look even better now. By this logic, breaking his legs will make him an Olympic runner.

MAR053073 LOVE AS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE #3 (MR) $6.95

I like this. Does this mean I like shôjo now? Can someone who reads shôjo tell me?

JUN052940 OR ELSE #3 (MR) $3.50

I really hope I remembered to order this as I really, really adored the second issue. I'm very fond of forgetting things, so let's cross our fingers.

JUL052969 PURE TRANCE GN (MR) $19.98

Butcher really likes it and I feel like an ass for not picking it up at MoCCA, as everything I've seen from it looks brilliantly demented. I'm under the belief that it's either going to make my head explode or reduce me to a catatonic state with prolonged exposure. Sounds good to me.

JUL052551 SMOKE & GUNS GN $12.95

This has been reviewed by others who seemed to think it was pretty darn OK. I fell in love with Fabio Moon's art from the second I laid eyes on it, so it's halfway there already.

Now, for an excerpt from this gem that Cole Odell posted in the comments at Fanboy Rampage:

I can't understand why people find superhero comics done as steroid-enraged Chris Ware stories entertaining.

Amen, my spiritual brother who has no clue who I am. Amen.

My Magazine
Originally uploaded by BeaucoupKevin.

Busy today, so you can just go have fun with the Flickr Magazine Generator.

Genius Covers Sunday:
Special "I Was Gonna Do A Bunch of Kirby Covers
But Then Chris Showed Me Something And I Realized
I Can't Give Jack Enough Bandwidth For All The Covers
That He Did That Were Truly Genius, So I'm Posting This"
Edition.


Boy, that sure is something.

Today, as you probably don't know unless you care about this sort of thing, is Jack Kirby's birthday. He would have been 88. It's easy enough to get the basic biographic details, along with some great resources as far as his bibliography, so instead I'm going to tell you all what Jack means in regards to my perception of the medium. To be brief, it�s as simple as �comics=Jack Kirby� in my mind. Yes, there's many, many other excellent creators with long and storied careers, but I simply can't imagine comics without Kirby at Marvel and DC.

The matter of who created what in the early Marvel Universe is, of course, up for a lot of debate. Kirby's own stories varied wildly from having decided to save the company after walking in on Stan Lee crying over the fact that bankruptcy was looming to just accepting the Fantastic Four job as he would with any other western or monster or science fiction story Stan cranked out and not knowing or really caring about the script as long as the check didn't bounce. Here's what is a cold, hard fact, though: without Kirby, we probably would not have had the same Fantastic Four comic that captured so many young hearts and helped make superheroes cool again.

As Stan found himself busier and busier with his myriad responsibilities as editor-in-chief, huckster, and writer, the burden fell on Jack's shoulders (which already bore the weight of a full two-thirds of the company's artistic output) to create more and more from plots that were less and less defined, and create is exactly what he did. The Negative Zone! The Inhumans! Galactus! The Silver Surfer! Annihilus! All of these now long-standing characters and ideas came out of his imagination in a remarkably short amout of time in a single title, and mark the beginning of his most fertile period as a creator. His individual Marvel creations grew much larger than life and his art changed to reflect these concepts and the powers they contained, becoming more minimal while still imparting a sense of scale and urgency to the reader.

It's this near-constant sense of panic and clear depiction of action that defines the idea of what a superhero comic�s art should be for me. After departing Marvel for DC's promises of complete control, Jack's storytelling in both scripts and art became more and more epic, showing the boundaries of comics at the time by slamming against them and knocking them a few inches out of place. Only a few of the most ambitious of Kirby's Marvel creations would have fit well into his DC work. Long gone were the petty concerns of Johnny Storm, wondering if his hot rod was going to win the big race next weekend and in their place was a New God's realization that his father was a Space Hitler that made Odin look positively pacifistic. Making sure that we beat the Russians in space seems like a quilting bee compared to a mohawked soldier pumelling his way through a horde of enemies in the World Of Tomorrow.

Even after his DC titles were all canceled and he came back to Marvel in the mid-70s, his creative impulses were still slanted towards the grandiose. It seemed that Kirby wanted to know why, in his absence Captain America duked it out with second-rate villains when he could and should take on a high-level conspiracy armed with something called "Madbomb? " For whatever reason, a lot of the work from this material is derided by the fans, but I find myself capitvated by his ambiition: turning 2001 into a psychedelia showcase and remixing Chariots Of The Gods to create The Celestials. Sadly, he didn't quite fit into the Marvel of the time, where Steves Englehart and Gerber were leading a new direction that, while insanely creative, was much more self-aware and sardonic compared the earnest nature of Kirby's work.

It's after this second departure from the house he helped build that Jack's career fell into an irrecoverable retrograde. He tried publishing a few books that never got off the ground wih several companies and even came back to DC to wrap up his own New Gods saga as well as draw the (frankly, mind-numbing) Super-Powers tie-in comic along with a few pinups and occasional stories, but it was never the same for him.

Looking back, though, that decade-and-a half that bridged the Silver and Bronze Ages, when Jack was creating the new each and every month makes a lot of what's happening in mainstream superhero comics seem positively dull. Outside of Grant Morrison, I can't think of a single writer working at DC or Marvel that is intent on creation instead of maintenance, much like the Silver Age Superman stories that would occasionally excel, but most of the time seemed to be a matter of station-holding for the readers and characters.

Some would argue (just as I have, on occasion) that these companies are filling a need: to exploit pre-rendered universes to tell stories that the readers who like said universes will buy. There are some excellent writers who are very good at doing exactly that, but I'm missing Jack more than usual lately, and it's not out of nostalgia. Do I want to read comics stories featuring people aping Kirby�s more easily utilized tropes? No. I want people to take the lessons that each page of his best work can give and apply them in unique ways. It�s the best way to pay tribute to The King.

Don't Call It A Podcast.

(Because I have no idea how to do the requisite RSS feed yet and thought it was more important to say "Hey, look, about an hour of genre-hopping music that I decided to cobble together this morning for no particular reason.")

What do you get if you right-click to download this 65mb, 160kbps mp3?

"Home and dry." // Pet Shop Boys
"Modesty Plays" (12" Mix) // Sparks
"Debaser" // The Pixies
"Sweetsmoke" // Mr. Scruff
"Tiger Rag" (Live) // Louis Armstrong
"Magic Carpet Ride" (Fatboy Slim Mix) // Mighty Dub Katz
"Seven Nation Army / In Da Club" (Live) // Basement Jaxx
"That's When I Reach For My Revolver" // Moby
"Concrete And Clay" // Unit 4+2
"Yolk" // Family Soul
"I'm A Cuckoo" (by The Avalanches) // Belle & Sebastian
"You Can't Break A Broken Heart" // The 6ths
"Tequila" // Allen Toussaint
"Fly Hawaii" // Luke Vibert & BJ Cole

If you like it, let me know. I'll try to read all about this "podcasting" jazz soon, but I want to promise you one thing: you'll never have to hear my dull, slighly nasal voice doing intros on songs or talking at you concerning stuff you've already read about. Questions can go in comments or whatever.

Disclaimer: If, for any reason, a record label thinks I'm doing their artists a disservice by including them in an MP3 that will expose their to new listeners, all they have to do is ask and I will be more than happy to remove their portion of the download.

Dear Comics Blogger Internet,

Please stop fucking blogging about the comics blogger internet. Blog about comics. Talk about what excites you or what you hate. Review your purchases and favorites. Discuss your favorite superheroes or stories in minute detail. Leave metacommentary to Graeme at the Rampage and instead focus on entertaining and informing your readers.

You may refer to fine blogs such as Dave's Long Box and The Jack Kirby Comics Weblog and Dial B For Blog to see nostalgia done right. I'd also recommend taking a look at Johanna's site, among others on the left there to see people that I think add a good perspective to this medium.

Some people I really like have fallen to this habit of late and I'm sick and fucking tired of whining about whining.

Signed,
BeaucoupKevin

PS> Motherfucking Swarm shows up in next week's issue of Runaways. I no longer have an excuse to not buy this book, do I?

This is why I pay Kochalka $2 a month for American Elf.

Make sure that you look at the original and then read this.

Steranko (God love 'im) probably should have been told
to reconsider his choices when it came to shadow placement,
especially considering the turbulent social climate of the time.

What if... a government-sponsored Captain America clone was used to create low-budget patriotic cartoons?

"Do you think these As on my forehead stand for Alcoholics Anonymous?"

From here. Thanks, Michael.

You know, I don't want to complain or anything, but the fact that the third Queen And Country: Declassified miniseries (deftly written by Antony Johnston with Christopher Mitten doing the drawing end of things) had its final issue come out on the same week as the second issue of series creator Greg Rucka's second Q&C:D did not go unnoticed in certain circles, namely me.

I will say this, though, in some slight defense of Rucka's lateness in this matter. That Rick Burchett cat? He can fucking art an employee manual and I'd want to look at it. Some great storytelling on his part, combined with a story I find pretty neat (once I remembered what the hell was happening,) ameliorated the crankiness quite a bit.

Now, to gulp down the rest of my coffee and head off.

Written on the Palm at Diesel, 8:20am. I shoulda gotten an extra shot of espresso.

I feel like I've betrayed The Cause today, my friends. For some reason or another, the fact that Monkey In A Wagon Vs Lemur On A Big Wheel is put out by that small publishing concern that I love to hate, Alias, eluded me entirely. However, let's take out the whole "Mike S Miller makes my teeth ache" portion of the equation and evaluate this title on its own merits, shall we? There's a set of four dialogue-free stories in this well-stapled, nicely papered pamphlet: the title piece, a pirate tale called "Yo Ho Ho," the superlative cautionary gambling story "A Day At The Raises," and "Monkey Versus Lemuria," exploring the origins of a long-standing, apparently species-wide grudge, and you know what? This isn't a bad little thing at all.

While the nautical tale (baffingly enough) fails when it comes to cleverness (writer Tony DiGerolamo seems to lack in inherent absurdity that Ken Lillie-Paetz brings to his co-creation,) the rest of this book ably entertains while showing off the talents of artists Chris Moreno (the other co-creationatory sort) and Julie Faulkner. Lillie-Paetz really seems to run with the concept, allowing Moreno and Faulkner to indulge their cartoonish tendencies with absurd moments that reminded me of the more vicious Warner Brothers cartoons and referencing works as diverse as Charlotte's Web and Metropolis.

It's the uniform excellence of these other pieces that made me more disappointed in "Yo Ho Ho." DiGerolamo's story is more straightforward, yes, and Moreno's art is a thing to gaze upon in wonder, but it seems to miss the entire point of having a naval officer lemur defeat a monkey pirate on the high seas, which is to make me laiugh like a five year old. So, is the whole kit and kaboodle worth three American dollars? Not quite, but I am not really regretting the purchase, as 3/4 of this thing was right up my alley.

Now, to change the subject away from animal antics and to talk about science fiction espionage that's funny and enthralling at the same time. I've been trying to figure out how can I succinctly review the burst of fresh air that is Smoke, the final chapter of which came out this week. I finally came up with something that people in comics should do more often for the creators they like: express some gratitude.

So, thanks, Alex De Campi, for the future-shock script that never pandered while it entertained. Igor Kordey, your art was splendid. Yes, I'm gushing a bit, but I'm just so darn pleased with how it all came together in the end.

Now, to figure out if I'm actually going to review all the books I picked up this week...

Spend a moment looking at this little snippet from a Google ad. Now, tell me...are you shamed by you English?<sup>1

1</sup>(Scroll down. It's totally worth it. Hi, Campbell!)

Marisa Hilarides Simoes, 25, holds a wheel of her
prize-winning Serenita cheese.

Chronicle photo by Craig Lee.

I think I'm in love.
(Thanks, Alice.)

The original Daniel Clowes cover to the first Bizarro Comics anthology.
Found on Batfatty's blog.

Here's the latest mix I've put together. 45 minutes of choir boys, chunky beats, pop tunes that have gotten all fucked up, field recordings, and glitchy ambient can be yours if you right-click here and "save as." (65mb 192kbps mp3 file.) You'll note the highly-imaginative name of "August 2005."

Tracklisting? Sure, I'll do that:

"Always Remember to Respect And Honour Your Mother" // Dusted.
"Where's Johnny Sabatino?" // Dzihan & Kamien.
"Revolutionary Women Of The Windmill Part I" // Up, Bustle, And Out.
"Suzuki" // Tosca.
"Eva" (Instrumental Mix) // Heights Of Abraham.
"Physical" (UK Girls) // Goldfrapp.
"This Is Hardcore" (4 Hero Mix) // Pulp.
60 seconds of a Calcutta street.
"Toninas" // Berlin.

Let me know what you think.

I've been reading a fair amount of comics material from the 30s and 40s of late, thanks to rediscovering my copies of the (say it with me) stupidly out-of-print The Golden Age of Marvel Comics (a mere two volume set that could use expansion) as well as random DC 100-Page Giants and those rather awesome ACG reprints of Golden Age material. Here's what I have determined: modern superhero comics are fucking boring. Maybe it's the hypercompression of the stories (you're lucky if an origin sequence takes up more than six panels) or the fact that so many writers were churning out so much stuff that some of it had to be completely mental, but there's a pep and verve to this older material that no superhero title being made now can match, no matter how clever they attempt to be.

Let's take, for instance, the story from The Golden Age Of Marvel Comics Volume 2 about this cat named The Fin. The Fin is the sort of hero that has Roy Thomas unloading into his shorts with great glee when his name is mentioned in passing; he's a brawler who derives his strength from the ocean, where he can swim and swim and swim without needing to come up for air. Yes, it may sound similar to Namor and yes, he was created by the Submariner's very own originator, Bill Everett, but there's something that sets The Fin apart outside of his short lifespan (three appearances.)

His headgear¹. Check out that chapeau - this dude better be able to kick some ass quite thoroughly or else he's going to have schoolkids and pensioners following him, demanding some change in exchange for safe passage. It probably doesn't hurt that he's a lieutenant in the US Navy, either, as the toughening-up he received under their care has to have made sure that he can settle just about any dispute mere moments after initialization.

Anyway, back to this story. The Fin, having just walloped a Nazi pirate called The Barracude,is swimming in the briny deep and he happens to come across a sunken ship. He's down in the galleon and discovers what appears to be a haunted sword of some type, which he decides to chuck after having creepy sensations of some sort or another. It's only after throwing the cutlass and burying it in the thick steel hide of a cannon that he thinks "Wait. This here mystical artifact would be a great aid in my continuing quest to kick Nazi ass." (I may be paraphrasing.)

One thing leads to another, The Fin's back on shore, probably looking for a friendly port for the evening, if you get my drift, when he gets shangaied and placed onboard a Nazi spy ship, where he's taken away from his empowering water and forced to do menial tasks. It's when he's been placed in front of the ship's captain that The Fin makes a desparate break for freedom, grabs his haunted sword, and begins to emancipate the crew's vital organs from their bindings with great gusto.

In this ten-page story, there's four pages devoted to stabbing and wailing on the bad guys, with an additional couple featuring beatings and whippings as well as one spectacular bit where The Fin removes the Nazi Spy Ship's propeller with the aforementioned magical cutlass. There's not a single bit of wasted space here, and that's something I admire. Outside of somebody like Grant Morrison with his future-retro take on "mainstream" story structure, is there anybody else writing superhero comics now that devotes so much time to these characters doing what they do?

How many pages of a typical issue of a modern Superman comic feature the title character doing things that are, you know, Super? When you remove all the bitching and lecturing that Batman does anymore, you've got maybe a handful of pages dedicated to the character going out there, scaring the shit out of the bad people, and making sure Gotham is safe.

Don't even get me started on Spider-Man at this point in time. Jesus, even the Ultimate version sees less action than MODOK on Paradise Island. The Flash barely seems to show up in his own title, much less actually do anything, and the Teen Titans spend an awful lot of time ruminating about how awful it is to be hot, young, teen superheroes.

Yes, some superhero characters do work well with the 10 o'clock drama format - Daredevil comes to mind, for instance, but when did it become a goddamn major event when Iron Man suits up to kick some ass?¹

Maybe this is why I'm looking forward so much to more Scott Pilgrim or Corey Lewis's apparently-selling-poorly-in-preorders Peng. Maybe this is why I enjoyed Dead West and The Couriers so much. The comics I'd normally depend on for stupid amounts of gleeful action just aren't ponying up and my dollars are now going towards thing that give me that thrill and sense of wonder that I apparently need.

And no, Bendis, throwing ninjas into New Avengers isn't going to work for me, because they'll probably be accountant ninjas that bore the pants right off my broad posterior.

---

¹It was this or write about Citizen V's shorts, but...you know...

²An aside: I think this Ellis storyline is going to be a damned good graphic novel when published as a trade, but this "monthly" format is killing that shit like its name is Jason Todd. I wish they'd managed to just go and put out an OGN and let a regular monthly team of some kind get the character out there.)

Written at Diesel, on the Palm. Technology fucking rocks.

My comics shop helps kill comics.

I <3 Copybook Tales.

File under: It's Too Fucking Early For This.

God says:

Thou shalt not kill.

Pat Robertson, "Christian" Broadcaster says:

Let's go assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez because his country can become a hotbed of Muslim extremism and "Communist infiltration."

You know, I am down with Jesus, but some of his followers can go right to the hell they believe in so fervently. Tell me, Pat, should we kill Chavez before or after all the gay people get burned at the stake and the pro-choice doctors are stoned in the street? For someone who seems to think that extremism is so wrong, you exemplify the very worst traits of it yourself, you hubris-riddled hypocrite.

And who the fuck is still worried about the communists, anyway? I mean, yeah, I miss them because they gave us Red Dawn and From Russia With Love, but I think we've seen that, with very few exceptions, human nature trumps the ideology presented by Marx every. single. time.

OK, I have to get a cup of coffee now and read something mind-numbing or the rest of the day is going to be spent with me mumbling constantly and slapping anyone who resembles a religious neoconservative. (Thank god I live in that liberal hellhole known as Massachusetts, huh?)

Killing Comics? What's killing comics?
This shit. That's what. It's all coming out
Wednesday, August 24th, so look out!

Dark Horse / DC / Marvel

Light week. Nothing egregious or offensive.

Image

JUN051837 FRANCIS MANAPUL WITCHBLADE #75 LITHO $19.99
JUN051838 FRANCIS MANAPUL WITCHBLADE #75 LITHO SGN $29.99
MAY051594 TERRY DODSON WITCHBLADE #88 LITHO SGN $29.99

Oh, piss off.

Other Companies

JUL052701 BRIAN PULIDOS LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE #1/2 EMPRESS CVR $5.99
JUL052699 BRIAN PULIDOS MEDIEVAL LADY DEATH BRING IT CVR #2 $5.99
JUL052700 BRIAN PULIDOS WAR ANGEL HELLS BELLE CVR #1 (OF 3) $5.99
APR052840 DF RED SONJA RUBI ALT CVR #1 $10.00
MAY052729 DF WEAPON X DAYS OF FUTURE NOW #1 SGN $19.99
APR052868 DF WILDSIDERZ #0 DOUBLE SGN $49.99
JUL052695 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE MOONLIGHT CVR #1 (OF 4) $5.99
JUL052696 LADY DEATH ABANDON ALL HOPE PRISM FOIL CVR #1 (OF 4) $12.99
JUL052757 LADY DEATH DEATH GODDESS COMM ED $5.99
JUL052694 LADY DEATH DEATH GODDESS TIGHT SQUEEZE CVR $5.99
APR052658 FATHOM #1 LTD ED SIGNED PRINT $34.99

The usual. It's all just eye-fuckingly bad and just plain tiresome anymore. The people that buy this shit won't read my blog and the people that read my blog won't buy this shit, right? Right?!? The morons who buy into this shit, who convince themselves that a sheaf of paper wrapped in a piece of slightly shinier paper that may have extra cleavage or a bit of foil is worth more because it costs them more and is supposed to be "rare?" They deserve to lose every dime they toss at comics junk-bond companies that manipulate them with loose and spurious claims of scarcity. When they're trying to convince some sucker on eBay or a shopowner that these are a fucking investment, goddammit and they earn, literally, pennies on the dollar and wonder why the fuck they got started with "collecting" comics instead of reading some of the amazing stuff that's out there, I'm going to feel even better about this medium and how darwinism may just take care of the stupid.

Yeah, it's kind of petty, but I'm like that.

Good stuff this week?
Picks, you might say?

DC Comics

JUN050339 CATWOMAN WILD RIDE TP $14.99

The last trade from the "good" artists on the book working with Brubaker, this is a good bet for good, pulpy, superhero-related action. The Relentless trade may have gotten a little thick on the violence, but this is probably going to be the flip side and, hell, there's Wildcat for those of you who like your big, hairy boxers who are just past middle-aged.

JUL050303 HISTORY OF VIOLENCE NEW TP NEW EDITION $9.99

I finally snagged a copy of the original Paradox Press printing (say that three times real fast) a couple of weeks ago and can recommend it, even if I hope that the movie tweaks a few things. The comic feels a little too lifelike, especially in its final act, where it moves towards a wholly unsurprising and slightly unsatisfying ending. Still, when it comes to mood and tone, it's a thing to behold.

JUN050369 JACK CROSS #1 $2.50

See below.

JUN050349 SUPERMAN THE MAN OF STEEL VOL 4 TP $19.99

Sure, I may have my problems with some of the Byrne material (you do not tear the fucking cape, goddammit!) but the pocket universe Superboy story presented in here is fan-fucking-tastic. I mean, check this cover out!

Image

JUN051784 GROUNDED #2 (OF 6) $2.95

I really, really liked the first issue and hope that it keeps it up or I will be like a lover scorned, writing hateful notes and boiling its bunny.

Marvel

JUN052003 DAREDEVIL #76 $2.99

Jesus, shit, damn, and fuck! Bendis got his groove back, baby. There's a very logical, very well handled bombshell in this one. I hope this isn't a blip.

JUN052016 MEGA MORPHS #2 (OF 4) $2.99

This is so stupid it is genius.

No, really. You've not lived until you've seen a mind-controlled Hulk running a giant mecha, bellowing that the mission objectives must be met as he smashes down Giant Transforming Spider-Man-Bot. Your eyes have now known brilliance until you've seen Wolverine's robot plane (!!) extending its claws (!!!) to slice through a group of Giant-Sized Doombots (!!!!) as he delivers a pithy wisecrack. Read it and put it back on the shelf and wait, for in a few years, you'll find this in a fifty cent bin and pay what it's worth and you will revel, my friend.

Other Companies

JUN053097 BANANA SUNDAYS #2 (OF 4) $2.99

Good comic makes Kevin's heart smile. *sleeps*

APR052730 GIFFENS WHAT WERE THEY THINKING ONE SHOT $3.99

Previews says: Keith Giffen re-writes and re-mixes a classic Wallace Wood WWII comic in the tradition of Mystery Science Theater 3000! With Woody providing the eye-searing art, Giffen comes in and re-writes the dialogue in his classic Ambush Bug and Lobo style! Kevin Church will spaff himself with great shuddering bouts of laughter!

I may be making up that last sentence, but I'm pretty sure it's true.

JUN052962 HANK KETCHAMS COMPLETE DENNIS THE MENACE 1951-1952 HC $24.95

I want to get started with these but I can't justify it right now. Stupid money.

JUN053288 MIDDLEMAN #2 (OF 4) $2.95

Once again, a case of me really liking the first issue and hoping it keeps it up.

MAY052419 MONKEY IN A WAGON VS LEMUR ON A BIG WHEEL #1 $2.99

I really, really hope that this caught my eye and I ordered it, just for the freakin' awesome title alone. Turns out it's an expanded version of a story told in the CBLDF's Even More Fund Comics anthology. Check out some of the art here. It looks like it's ten kinds of awesome.

OK, that's it. My eyes are tired and outside of the complete first and second seasons of TJ Hooker are apparently on DVD and the fact that Previews and The Comics Journal are both shipping this week, there's not much else for me to glean from the shipping list. Except maybe for these:

MAY053624 RUPAUL GLAMAZON DOLL $59.99
MAY053625 RUPAUL RED HOT DOLL $59.99
MAY053626 RUPAUL SUPERMODEL DOLL $59.99

And with the image of me singing very loudly to Donna Summer tunes as my RuPaul doll and I boogie down, I leave you.

Being a bed-wetting liberal with a deep love of a good espionage / spy story has always presented me with a certain difficulty, as the modern writers that embrace the genre tend to think that Ronald Reagan should be carved into Mt Rushmore. Maybe this is why I so thoroughly enjoyed the first issue of Warren Ellis�s new DC title Jack Cross, as his political leanings make mine look positively neoconservative but he still thinks that the idea of an intelligence operator (or spy-turned-private eye, in the case of Desolation Jones) doing what needs to be done is still compelling.

Jack�s not James Bond: he lives under the good graces of several government agencies even as he criticizes their methodologies (DHS, in particular, gets a solid kick to the crotch.) There's a particular scene that I found particularly affecting: Jack performs a brutal interrogation and then finds himself literally sick at his actions. The first issue may seem sort of spare when you look at the seemingly-few actions presented, but much like MI-5 / Spooks, there�s extra layers and nuance to every bit of dialogue. Agendas are in play and people are getting hurt to do what�s perceived as "right," and Jack doesn�t necessarily like the system that he�s inserted himselve into.

Ellis�s dialogue, while having a distinct pitch, never falls victim to the Millar syndrome. If anything, it�s akin to Aaron Sorkin�s - everybody speaks in an idealized manner that shows that they�re thinking beings. Gary Erskine, while not my favorite artist, does pretty darn well, excluding one awkward-looking kiss. His storytelling may still be a little stilted, but it�s clear that he knows how to get from A to B. I do hope that a regular gig like this can help him loosen up in regards to facial expressions and body language. Ellis does tend to write towards artist�s strengths, so I�m pretty sure the readers will see some development.

Jack Cross #1 comes out this Wednesday and you should give it a look - it�s not flashy like 24, but I think it could be ultimately more rewarding.

Genius Covers Sunday: The Addendum


P\/\/N3D by Teddy Ruxpin!

Genius Covers Sunday Presents:
The Good, The Bad, and The Totally P\/\/n3d!!!
(Some knowledge of 1337 required.)

The Punisher? P\/\/n3D!!!

P\/\/n3d b`/ d00|\/|!!! j00 r fux0red!


P\/\/n3d b`/ 5adda|\/| !!

Cable? P\/\/n3d!!!

Hulkz0r 0\/\/n5 j00!

Daredevil = Blind + P\/\/n3d!!!

\/\/hy j00 w3ar th053 sh4d3s und3r j00r mask, j0?


B4D K177`/!!!!

Captain America = Defender of P\/\/n4ge + L1b3r7`/!!!

T|-|at's 0|\|3 \/\/4`/ to dr1p dr`/!!!

The Fantastic Four = The P\/\/n3d Family Of The
Marvel Universe.

500p3r 5kru11 p\/\/nag3 sux0r f0r j00!

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Gets
Totally P\/\/n3d \/\/henever h3 c4n!

H3's a11 l1ke "0h, 5hi7!!!"


\/\/4ke up, Spider-p\/\/n!!


A5l33p + p\/\/n3d agai|\|!!!!

To prove I'm fair and balanced, here's some DCU P\/\/n4ge.


(Thank you, Mike Sterling.)

(To the rest of you, I'm sorry I did this.)

Offered without any sort of pithy comment concerning how much I'd pay to see this sort of thing happen with a certain President's offices:

An unusually large group of Rhesus macaque monkeys, who seem to share the space with ministers and bureaucrats in New Delhi, are causing havoc at government offices.

The increasingly aggressive animals swing effortlessly between the offices of the defence, finance and external affairs ministries, and have even been spotted in the Prime Minister's office, government officials say.

The monkeys, who barge into government offices, stealing food, threatening bureaucrats, and even ripping apart valuable documents, are virtually unstoppable.

You can read the rest of this article here.

Graeme is all like "Yo, it's time to call Kevin out and make him do this meme because I'm like that." I like Graeme a lot, so...

1. Ten years ago:

Dull, soulless dance music, usually played at an ear-splitting volume. Stupid decisions involving women. There was probably some drinking of the legal variety.

2. Five years ago:

26 is such a vague birthday. I'm sure Kristin and I did some stuff. She will tell me that we had an awesome time and remember every detail.

3. One year ago:

The red blinking light in my palm dimmed forever and I became a runner.

4. Yesterday:

Work stress.

5. Today:

Go Kevin. It's your Birfday.

6. Tomorrow:

Friday means bourbon and Battlestar Galactica and some comics-reading and thinking.

7. Five snacks I enjoy:

Diesel's selection of pastries (any of them.) That really dodgy pre-made Chex mix. Sour Patch Kids. Grape Nut ice cream. Buns from Yi Soon bakery over in Allston. (Booze is not a "snack," is it?)

8. Five bands I know the lyrics of most of their songs:

Pet Shop Boys, Erasure, Underworld, Depeche Mode, New Order. I could go on, you know.

9. Five things I would do with $100,000,000:

Convert a large sum of it into golden coins so I could do Scrooge McDuck-styled diving and cackling. Set up my own publishing firm to put out comics I like, maybe even write one. Huge music festival with loads of bands I like. Set up a charitable trust for literacy. Create ultimate home theater.

10. Five locations I'd like to run away to:

London. Tokyo. New York. An island with high-speed internet, gentle breezes, sand dunes, salty air, and a fully-stocked bar. San Francisco.

11. Five Bad Habits:

Poor food choices. Lack or voluntary exercise. Not focussing on work of any kind as much as I should. Being a little too loud and direct when I should learn to shut up. Sarcasm, Kristin would say.

12. Five things I like doing:

Reading, writing, sleeping, talking codshit with friends, thinking about mediums I enjoy and why.

13. Five TV shows I like:

Battlestar Galactica, The West Wing (first two seasons), Justice League Unlimited, The Office, and The Daily Show, (especially when Lewis Black is on.)

14. Famous People I'd like to meet, living or dead:

Jack "King" Kirby, John Coltrane, Neil Tennant, Grant Morrison, and Karl Hyde.

15. Biggest joys at the moment:

Comics, really, are kicking my ass. I may bitch about the various things I hate, but there's so much really excellent material coming out of late. People in my life have been excellent of late.

16. Favorite toys:

I have stopped collecting toys and given away huge chunks of my collection. I do keep my Lego Erasure and Pet Shop Boys sets in a place of pride, along with that Dark Knight Returns Batman figure. As far as grown-up things go, I totally wanna make out with my Palm.

I shan't designate specific meme victims. Five of you choose among yourselves to keep this going.

I started working on A Thing this morning. Here's the bit I came up with, which I'm not sure I am quite happy with, but sometimes, people want to know just what the hell I spend my time writing.

The bitter convenience-store fakkuccino burned its way up Detective Saul Berg's esophagus, expressing its displeasure at being withheld in a spectacular belch that caused his partner, Annette Fingeroth, to smack the back of his head in the familiar manner of the Jewish mother he'd never had. The perp they'd rounded up just prior to his coffee stop moaned in the back seat, shifting for the first time in the half-hour since they'd tossed his apparently-dead carcass into the vehicle.

"Ow." It never hurt when she did that, not in the six years that they'd shared the Ford Analog the department was kind enough to provide.

"It costs maybe thirty cents more to get a real coffee from one of those fair-trade kiosks in the pedmall. Why do you go for that foul shit each and every time?"

"Foul shit it may be, but that was my fuel when I was working a beat and you can't tell me that any Ethiopian dingleberry deluxe is going to keep me awake nearly as well." He depends on that comfortingly awful petrol burn just like he depends on Annette to make sure his ass didn't get shot off on a regular basis. Saul may not be the brightest detective in his East Coast city, but he certainly would never be called a coward.

It was one of his sporadic moments of bravery that was the reason they were driving back to headquarters. While undergoing the weekly ritual of interrogating a certain Vietnamese bootleg dealer about his supplier, their heads had both snapped around at the sound of a wet, meaty slap that preceeded a Fay Wray imitation that was going have their ears ringing for the rest of the night.

They'd burst through the paper-thin door separating Nyugen's storefront from his residence just in time to stop the second plunge of a knife that seemed to have been regularly used in the service of high-end meatcutters that particularly hated their job and wanted the long-dead animals to suffer a little more somehow.

Without thinking (as was his wont,) Saul tackled Nyugen's pimp progeny from the side as Annette rushed to take care of the FOB adolescent that he was torturing for a reason they preferred to not imagine. Two quick blows to the boy's temple had rendered him insensate, which made Saul happy enough. Annette wrapped her coat around the girl and led her into the front room just as Nyugen attempted to burst past her to commence his "I-no-speak-Engrish-not-know-he-a-pimp" routine.

Saul hated that routine, so the fact that Annette whispered something violent and possibly illegal in his ear to get him to shut up was greatly appreciated.

Nyugen's boy moans in the back seat and immediately begins slamming into the glass, cursing in a patois that covered at three continents (four if you counted Portugese being spoken in Brazil.)

"Hey, hey, hey, Nature Boy. Knock it off." Annette snarls in her slightly bull, completely dykish manner. "That girl's going to need some serious reconsurgery to take care of that sick shit you did to her arm, so don't even act like you've been beaten or you'll get to spend some time in a quiet cell witha few members of the Overfiend gang."

Nyugen's son stops his thrashing and cursing just long enough to explode all over the car's back seat; raspberry jelly flies everywhere. Saul is too shocked to even register the event until the smell of iron and burned hair hits his nostrils and he has to pull over to vomit.

"That's the third one in a month." Annette announces as she hands him a hankerchief with an embroidered A on one corner.

He wiped his mouth for a moment. "This has become A Thing, hasn't it?"

She nodded. "You know we'll get assigned to this Thing, too. Our docket is the closest to clean in the office."

"I know. Shit." Saul flipped open his cell to get the Crime Scene Kids to their location.

I give you:

Robotech's salute to the 60th anniversary of the UN.

(Apparently, there's a new series on its way to DVD. Huh.)

(Oh, yes, I turned 31 about 6 hours ago, since I apparently decided to enter the world at 1:15 in the morning, making sure to keep my mother up. Whiskey and dancing girls to the usual address, please.)

James Turner's Rex Libris is the densest comic I've read in a long time. This first issue not only features our titular hero getting into a fight with a samurai demon and dealing with the administation of the Middleton Public Library (the best damn bibliostorage facility in the world,) the readers also get to savor the most historically rich, fitfully funny origin story I've ever come across. Add to this heady mix some hilarious running commentary from the "writer and editor" chronicalling Rex's adventures through space and time and you've got my pick of the year for indie comics with an intellectual bent that use vector art. (Wait, wasn't that title already occupied by Turner's Nil?)

KRISTIN IS VERY PRETTY. (She made me write that because I'm delaying burrito retrieval.)

You should only buy Frank Espinosa's Rocketo if you want to know what it's like to dive headlong into a rich fantasy world that mixes and matches genres and influences effortlessly while creating a unique feel.

I know, you probably were going to go read Ultimate Waffle-Dude X instead. That's fine.

Written on the Palm at Diesel around 7:45. We later had tasty Anna's action.

I helped the Hulk redesign his diary. You can click here to see it. I think it pops nicely.

In a mood, thanks to work insanity and impending dottering-old-manitude on the 18th.

However, the mood does dissipate when I listen to the 12" mix of "Go West" by Pet Shop Boys. (Right-click to download 12.9mb 192kbps mp3.) I especially love the way it goes into old-school rave insanity around the 6:20 mark. Has anybody got any veras? Lovely.

This is the entirety of today's posting, most likely, unless I get a bug up my ass and decide to tackle Marvel and Image's solicitations.

This Is Why I Do Not Click ON E! Links From Google News
At Work, Part 23:

Diddy Drops the P.
by Sarah Hall
Aug 16, 2005, 1:30 PM PT

"It's the era of Diddy."

So proclaimed the hip-hop impresario formerly known as Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, Puffy and now P. Diddy on NBC's Today show Tuesday, as he explained that he was changing his name once again.

The rap mogul last switched it up--from Puff Daddy to P. Diddy--in 2001, while seeking a "fresh start" after being acquitted on gun charges.

As for what brought about the latest change in moniker, the entertainer admitted that his previous name change left his fans uncertain of how to address him.

"I felt like the 'P' was getting between me and my fans and now we're closer," Diddy said.

"During concerts, half the crowd is saying 'P. Diddy'--half the crowd is chanting 'Diddy'--now everybody can just chant 'Diddy.'"

It's time to do DC's November solications (even if I skipped October's.) Let's keep this short and sweet, because daddy wants to get this over with so he can get back to watching amateur asian porn Another Thin Man. We'll do it by the weeks that they're coming because, hey, that's in the order that they've put them up.

On sale the week of November 2nd.

DC

Jonah Hex #1 and Showcase Presents: Jonah Hex Volume 1. I've become a little more intrigued by the Western genre since I obeyed certain people's hounding and started watching Deadwood as I happened to find myself rediscovering watching the Man With No Name movies that Eastwood produced with Sergio Leone, so I am looking forward to this quite a bit. The few Hex-related stories I've read have all been enjoyable enough, as he's a mean sumbitch and mean sumbitches make me pretty durn happy.

Seven Soldiers: The Bulleteer begins and it's not like I could say a single nasty thing about the teaming of Grant Morrison and the radically-improved-in-the-last-few-years Yanick Paquette, right? Right. Plus, hey, boobies. I'm a simple man, aren't I?

Wildstorm

Desolation Jones #4 streets, which means I'll probably get a few more moments of pure comics joy.

Smax has a softcover come out, which means that Top Ten fans wondering at his behavior in the first issue of the new mini will get a few answers.

On sale the week of November 9th.

DC

Gotham Central ties into the Day of Vengeance series in the only way it can: by hurtling rocks and debris at the citizens of Gotham, who will all scream out "Holy fucking shit it's the end of the world!" as one of the detectives tries to get back to his family. I've always wanted a crossover with huge events along these lines since reading Marvels and desiring more bloodlust and stupid loss of life..

Infinite Crisis has a second issue. I yawn. I'm sure I'll read it in the shop, but this whole rigamorale has left me so cold of late. What's sad is that I can admire the dedication this has taken from everyone involved, but still find it wholly unappealing.

Vertigo

100 Bullets gets to lucky 66 and I find myself really liking that cover design.

DMZ, Brian Wood's latest series that reminds everyone how deeply he loves the idea of a dark near-future New York City, has its first issue and I'm pretty sure that I'm onboard unless he's managed to suddenly become very, very bad at what he does.

Wildstorm

Danger Girl: Back In Black #1. I think my stupidly long affair with J Scott Campbell's group of hot secret agents is done, especially as his quirky, anatomically incorrect art that I like for some reason is no longer a selling point.

When The Winter Men #4 comes out, we'll probably be in the midst of our first serious cold snap. I think that's going to be appropriately chilling. I should buy a good bottle of Vodka as a companion for this series that I seriously hope maintains the quality shown in the first issue; I'll be disappointed greatly if it slumps.

On Sale the week of November 16th.

DC

ALL-STAR SUPERMAN #1!!!!

Oh, and there's some other stuff, too. Whatever.

(Seven Soldiers: Frankenstein, bitches!)

Wildstorm

Top Ten: Beyond The Farthest Precinct #4 has one hideous cover. I think it's because I just don't like purple that much, which can seem sort of petty, I guess. I don't really care, as I'll still read the shit out of it.

On Sale the week of November 23rd.

DC

I Can't Believe It's Not The Justice Leage gets a trade and even if the jokes were spread a little thinner this time around, I enjoyed it quite a lot - sort of like one of those Carol Burnett Show greatest hits reels, and don't tell me you don't stop to watch a few of those skits.

Jack Cross has its first storyline wrap up. C'mon, it's Ellis and Erskine. Like I'm not going to jump on that.

Vertigo

Loveless has its sophomore issue and my western quota for the month is met nicely, especially with the duo of Azzarello and Frusin handling matters. I'm sort of tempted to just go for trades with this, but I would like to get the complete run if it falls (as I suspect it will) to the cancellation bug like other short-lived Vertigo projects I enjoyed (American Century or Deadenders, anyone?)

This will make people feel more than their usual loathing for me, but I gave up on Y: The Last Man out of frustration at the "and they were going and going and going..." storyline that never seemed to give me any more than the vaguest hints at what the end point may or may not end up being. I guess this means that there's going to be one more copy of Y: The Last Man, Volume 6: Girl On Girl for the rest of you.

On Sale the week of November 30th.

DC

Ellis's JLA Classified storyline has its penultimate issue, while I'm on the subject of cranky British writers.

Wildstorm

Albion gets to its (I believe) final issue, which means that I may or may not declare it worthy in the end. So far, I've been liking it well enough, but I also liked the second season of Smallville an awful lot until it decided to hump the shark while asking it who was a big boy, so I'm suspicious about some things.

I'm pretty sure it's wrong how much I'm looking forward to The Authority: The Magnificent Kevin, but I don't really care.

Warren Ellis earns his 300th mention in this rundown with the trade paperback for his (excellent until the confusing last bit, which I think I need to reread) miniseries Ocean.

Diamond's Shipping List is up.

That means it's time for the pithy remarks that I call the
"Shit That's Killing Comics" list for the week
of August 17, 2005.

(That's one day before my 31^st,
so buy yourself a soothingdrink
or a nice comical book for me.)

Dark Horse

DEC040033 USAGI YOJIMBO VOL 19 FATHERS AND SONS LTD ED HC $59.95

This, along with the $50 Nexus hardcover that is solicited this month make me wonder if Dark Horse seems to think that we, the comics fans, are able to peel a bit of our skin off at the counter to serve as payment as we're made of money. I mean, the Fathers And Sons tpb came out, what, two weeks ago and there's now a "Limited Hardcover?" I wonder what fans of Usagi Yojimbo are buying these and where they live so I can rob them blind.

DC Comics

FEB050365 BATMAN BLACK WHITE SERIES MINI STATUE TIM SALE $45.00

I love, love, love Tim Sale's Batman design on the page, but in real life, it comes across as...ugggggly.

JAN050395 FOSTERS STATUE BLOO MAC AND EDUARDO $89.99

Some kid, somewhere, is going to get this and be all excited until they break it and their dad makes them eat the shards in their oatmeal for the next month, just like my old man used to do to me.

What are you looking at?

JUN058143 JSA CLASSIFIED #1 SECOND PTG $2.50

Hooray for boobies!

MAY050217 SUPERMAN FOR TOMORROW VOL 2 HC $24.99

You know, in case you've lost your Ambien.

Image

MAY051532 GUNCANDY SGN #1 (OF 2) (MR) $19.99

Just go look at the cover. Poor girl has a cold and touches herself after destroying buses. She really should talk to a special talking doctor.

Marvel

JUN052031 WEAPON X DAYS OF FUTURE NOW #2 (OF 5) $2.99

Once again, if somebody could tell me what this fucking title means, I'd really appreciate it.

Other Companies Who Think Too Much Of Their Product

MAY052548 BRIAN PULIDOS MEDIEVAL LADY DEATH #6 $3.99
MAY052551 BRIAN PULIDOS MEDIEVAL LADY DEATH FOIL INC #6 PI
MAY052550 BRIAN PULIDOS MEDIEVAL LADY DEATH PREMIUM CVR #6 $9.99
MAY052549 BRIAN PULIDOS MEDIEVAL LADY DEATH WRAPAROUND #6 $3.99
APR052853 DF SPIDER-MAN HOUSE OF M #1 SGN $19.99
APR052865 DF YEAR ONE BATMAN RAS AL GHUL #1 SGN $29.99
MAY052680 GI JOE AMERICAS ELITE SIGNED ED #1 $14.95
JUN052888 TOMB RAIDER GALLERY PLATINUM (O/A) $15.95

It's just too easy anymore. I'm just going to implore you to intervene when you see somebody purchasing one of these and ask them if they'd like to maybe seek some help. Variants Anonymous is out there, waiting to help them work through their issues and talk to others who have learned to put down the Retailer's Exclusive Edition of the Jim Lee Superman cover and go buy a girl a drink. Or thirty, considering how much that thing goes for.

Stuff that reminds me that comics kick ass.
DC Comics

MAY050218 LEX LUTHOR MAN OF STEEL #5 (OF 5) $2.99

Kinda funny that I hated Azzarello's take on Superman, but his Lex Luthor goes down a treat.

JUN050384 SEVEN SOLDIERS KLARION THE WITCH BOY #3 (OF 4) $2.99

Read the preview copy at the shop yesterday while harassing Young Aaron and I declare this to be so freakin' worthy, just for the oh-so-gentle swipe at Bendis in a scene involving a giant drill. You'll know it when you read it.

JUN050437 TOP TEN BEYOND THE FARTHEST PRECINCT #1 (OF 5) $2.99

You know, if you can't get Gene Ha to draw your series with a million characters and a huge, involved world, get Jerry Ordway. Sure, some of it feels like a not-quite-as-good cover version, but Paul DiFilippo gets into the swing fairly well and the "Five years later..." aspect lets me rediscover these characters.

Marvel

JUN052067 STORMBREAKER SAGA OF BETA RAY BILL TP $16.99

Many people whom I trust say that this is a very, very good read if you're fond of the character. While I'm unsure if I'll spend my shekels, I'll certainly give it a few moments of my time to see if I go ga-ga over it.

Other Companies
Gee, last week was kind of awesome on the indie front, but this time around, outside of a few Spanish editions Ghost World esta muy bien!), only a couple of things made me blip including:

JUN052850 HEROES ANONYMOUS #1 (OF 6) (O/A) (MR) $2.99
JUN052851 HEROES ANONYMOUS #2 (OF 6) (O/A) (MR) $2.99
JUN052852 HEROES ANONYMOUS #3 (OF 6) (O/A) (MR) $2.99

I hope you can find these at your shop; you may need to check in the back issue bins - this was a series I enjoyed the heck out of, even with a few minor quibbles over density and choices in direction. This would sell like gangbusters if it weren't on Bongo, the comics company that is mistakenly assumed to be only there to sell Simpsons-related goods. This has been optioned by SciFi, so expect this and Mansquito: The Series to hit the cable network in 2006.

JUN052711 REX LIBRIS #1 $2.95
JUN053157 ROCKETO #1 $2.99

Two new #1s that I am looking forward to quite a lot. I've been over Rex Libris in a previous post, and I think that Rocketo is going to be pretty darn close to perfect, judging by the preview material I've seen from Speakeasy.

That's it, not a huge week, so go get something you wouldn't normally try and thank me for the encouragement when you find out I was right.

If you think I'm wrong, I don't want to fucking hear it, ok?

Ian and I are both prone to going off about the genius of Marvel's 70's material without any warning whatsoever to passersby. There's a certain combination of insanity, Roy-Thomas-fueled devotion to continuity, and hackery that makes works like Steve Englehart's Avengers a meta-experience for me. It's the final part of Savage Steve's Celestial Madonna saga that kicks off the latest Avengers reprint volume dedicated to the synthezoid love machine and his reality-altering main squeeze, Vision And The Scarlet Witch.

Sadly, it's about the only decent thing in this trade and it's underserved greatly by the truncation of the original story in order to make sure that we get to see The Vision toss aside the hot passions that Mantis seems to be offering up in order to settle down with The Scarlet Witch. Any comic that manages to work in Libra, Kang, Moondragon, The Titanic Three, Dormammu, The Space Phantom, before the final scene featuring with Immortus (who, you may well know, is even more future Kang) presiding over a dual marriage between Mantis and Swordsman as well as our titular pair deserves special accolades from the masses. Sounds fun, doesn't it? However, thanks to the wholly unremarkable pairing of Bill Mantlo and Rick Leonardi on the rest of this book, you'd be much better served finding the out-of-print Celestial Madonna trade paperback that reprints that entire saga and choosing to ignore the lifeless, by-the-numbers work of the 1982 miniseries featuring Wanda and The Vision setting up house, dealing with Nuklo, and having Magneto show up announcing his fatherhood to Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch in the worst reveal I've seen in a comic. Here's a hint to comics editors: do not spoil your big important moment on the cover and then expect a reader to fret over the identity of The Mysterious White Pilgrim that wastes the first quarter of the story hanging out with Bova, especially if it's Monday morning and he's still recharging his caffeine banks.

Written on the Palm at Diesel, finished at 8:21, he said, trying to not sound like Warren Ellis.

This Week's Genius Covers Sunday is brought to you
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Strange Adventures! Great taste, long lasting,
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I fucking hate it when this happens to me.
Then I get a banana and it's all good in the hood.


Look at the arrogance in our forthcoming Ape Overlord's
eyes. He's really begging for a revolution.


Every time Kristin sees a lion or tiger or leopard or
Cheetah on the TV, she loudly announces that it is her
former cat Bobo's cousin or uncle or
whatever. (No, he's not dead; I'm allergic and he lives
on Cape Cod now. Calm down!)

Anyway, I seriously doubt she'd say that upon seeing
Space-Tigers roaming Manhattan!


"Shit, I shouldn't have taken that third hit."


Fuck your incomprehensible Rann-Thanagar War: I've got
men on pterodons (or pterodactyls, I can't tell) chucking
spears at planes shooting sidewinder missles and
apparently holding their own.


I've decided to find this issue, which is really the point,
right? Damn fine salesmanship and design right there.


I bought this comic from some dude on eBay for $4.

Best money
I've ever spent, really.

That Desert Island Comics meme that's hit the blogosphere has been running through my (large, kind of lumpy) head for the last few days and I've finally decided upon the five comics runs I would want to take with me if I were placed on a desert island with, presumably, enough water and food to make life worthwhile, otherwise I'd be asking for Basic Protein and Hydration Funnies.

Without hesitation, the first material placed in the giant trunk would be Jack Kirby's Fourth World. I'll claim all of the various series, including his Jimmy Olsen run and The Hunger Dogs under a "one cohesive universe created by The King" clause that you can't question; there's only around 60 books total in there, anyway. It's Jack's apotheosis: the madness of creations like The Black Racer; the struggle between Orion and his sire, Darkseid; Barda being six shades of hot as Mister Miracle escapes one outrageous trap after another. This is American comics at their purest and most imaginative, even if Carmine Infantino made Curt Swan and Neal Adams redraw Superman's face repeatedly.

Yes, I still have a beef over that.

Speaking of Jack, I could do a lot worse than getting a complete stack of Fantastic Four issues dropped into the carry-all. When done properly (which is pretty rare, I'll admit), Comics' First Family represent a lot of the reasons that I love a good superhero yarn: they do what they do because they can. Yes, Ben Grimm gripes and grouses about being stuck in a giant rock body, but he never, ever hesitates to put himself in harm's way. Johnny seems like a stupid, impulsive teenager, but he comes through when he needs to, even if he bitches a lot about having to do so. Then, there's Reed and Sue: where Superman and Lois could never have gotten married during the Silver Age, Reed and Susan Richards represent an equal partnership. It's pretty cliche to say that Reed's the brain of the group while Susan represents the heart, but it's a cliche because true, even if Stan and Jack seemed to go for months without letting Sue do more than pine and pine.

Even with long stretches of mediocrity, there's something about the Fantastic Four that just plain works for me. Maybe it's because they're happy to be superheroes (even The Thing when he's been taking his Effexor.) Maybe it's the fact that they routinely do the impossible, the cosmic, the (excuse me) fantastic as if they're going to the bodega around the corner for some ice cream. I don't know, really, but with great runs from Lee and Kirby, John Byrne, and Walt Simonson and a family that I (kind of stupidly) care about, the over-five-hundred issue series has earned its way onto my island. Note: I would insist that I could bring this random comic along just because it's a fun,stupid story that makes me terribly happy.

Since I'm assuming that I'd never get off this island paradise on which I've found myself deposited, maybe it would be time to finally suss out just what the fuck is going on in large chunks of The Invisibles. I'm sure I've got most of the basics down, but I think some sunstroke and periods of deep meditation might bring me closer to the truth about this deeply fucked up, brilliant series that I break out every year in a quest to get closer to figuring out what the fuck was going on in Grant Morrison's brain as he wrote this stuff. Time travel, alternate dimensions, global conspiracies, and narrative tricks that make you boggle all pile up in the closest thing that DC or Marvel have come to reproducing that dizzying feel that Ulysses gives everyone who comes within ten feet of it.

Here's where I admit to a grotesque personal failure: I've never read as much Love And Rockets as I should. Oh, yes, I've read the collections over the last couple of decades and still keep up with the current series, but it's been sort of a long, stretched-out affair featuring gaps with names like Penny Century and Luba that requires some quiet time between me and the Brothers Hernandez's work in order to reaffirm our dedication to each other.

See also: the many, many hot women contained within mean that I won't need to find an Eros title to put on this list.

It's Watchmen. It'd be like having a Greatest American Films list and not including Citizen Kane. (Yes, I fucking love Citizen Kane - the camerawork, the storytelling, the acting, everything is just about as perfect as these things come.) I still find new things in Alan Moore's biggest, most popular work with subsequent readings. It's tough just to pick a single work by Moore out, but this rises just that extra hairsbreadth above the rest to win. (His Supreme came closest to toppling it, since it's the best Superman run in the last 20 years.)

God, that was fucking hard. I'm sorry there was only five because that means I'd miss out on Optic Nerve and DC: The New Frontier and Nexus and Concrete and Stray Bullets and...

Atomic War! #1, October 1952.

This morning, I finished reading Aaron Reiner's all-ages comic Spiral Bound.

It is very hard to believe that this beautifully drawn, smartly written, charming work is Reiner's debut.

I think I may hate him for being this damned good so early in his career.

Those odd snatches you get of other people's lives: seeing someone walk into the diner with a different person than the last ten times, hearing someone find out bad news over the phone while in line at the grocery store, etc. Those seem to be the building blocks of Alex Robinson's graphic novel Tricked. This new work shows Robinson refining techniques used in his indie real-world epic Box Office Poison and using them with a new, more focused storytelling that helps move this rich and rewarding story of six unrelated seemingly people's lives to a conclusion that may not come as a complete surprise, but still manages to capture the reader's attention.

There's an intuitive nature to Robinson's storytelling and dialogue that reminds me, oddly enough, of a dramatic take on Seinfeld or, perhaps, a slightly lighter version of Deadwood's labyrinthine, layered plots. The balancing act performed her with six leads (Caprice is a waitress¹, Phoebe's a teenager in search of her real father, Steve is the obsessive, unbalanced fan of rock star Ray Beam who hires Lily seemingly out of the blue, and Nick forges sports autographs for a mobbed-up Russian while telling his wife he's still working at "the firm"...phew!) is admirable. Each not only gets their share of story time as far as the plot goes, but we also find ourselves aghast when they make poor decisions and happy when good things happen to them. An honest emotional connection to the proceedings is found in Robinson's deceptively simple exposition that's never overwrought or blatant in its manipulation of the audience.

There's some wonderful comics storytelling in here - full page shots of characters explaining their actions to one another that don't kill the story's movement because there's a level of detail that takes what would be a pin-up if handled by most artists and turns it into a Jim Jarmusch moment². I think that Robinson's handling of Steve's downward slide, in particular, is worthy of notice. Long monologues that could be interminable are instead showcases for the character; snapshots of his life are presented and even if I found him despicable, I still wanted to know what happened next.

Robinson's work seems to never be praised as much as it should, even if Wizard repeatedly told their fanbase of the goodness that was Box Office Poison³ That shouldn't matter to you, the discerning, handsome (or beautiful) reader - in a few years you can claim you knew him when he wasn't a sell-out if you purchase the book. For $20, this is a fine introduction for neophytes to his work as well as a comfortable return to form for those who fell in love with BOP.

---

¹She bears an uncanny resemblance to my girlfriend, which is disconcerting and kinda hot at the same time.

²There's another filmmaking nod that I couldn't help but notice. Page 308 reminded me very strongly of a certain shot on Fargo.

³Maybe it was because it was Wizard making with the kindness�

This Link Is Not Safe For Work At All. I do not care where you work. You could work at Bob's House Of Giant Dildos and this link would get you fired. Wait until you get home.

This is for Tasha and Alice, really, but I thought the rest of the class might want to take a gander. This is what happens when you come across Zack Soto following up on an old blog entry in comments, people. Don't let it happen to you.

Quick comic reviews while I pour coffee down my gullet? Sure, I can dig that.

Ferro City by Jason Armstrong from Image is another interesting title coming out of the home that begat Spawn. It's sort of like Darwyn Cooke's Slam Bradley found himself dropped into the middle of Blade Runner with a twist of Terminal City tossed in for good measure, to make sure that my media references are piled on good and thick. Sometimes the writing (intentionally or not) gets a little thick with the noir-derivative vibe, but able cartooning and a lively world helped me enjoy the heck out of it just fine.

The latest issue of Seven Soldiers: Zatanna helps put some more pieces of the uber-plot into place while packing in more action than most current mainstream comics manage in a six-issue arc. I love this sort of hyperdense form that's a radical departure from both over-expositioned 60s and 70s material as well as the current decompression trend.

Another title that manages to do the meaty thing very well is the first issue of The Winter Men, even if's just the first half of the first act of the miniseries. There's never any dialogue for the sake of dialogue in Brett Lewis�s script, but it never feels inorganic in its delivery. John Paul Leon is, of course, John Paul Leon and his art is always a pleasure to see.

Hero@Large is the first title from Speakeasy that I've read and while it's tempting to write off the whole superhero-gone-to-seed storyline, the comedic timing of Erick Hogan, combined with Jeremy Treece�s funky, grafitti-influenced designs makes this first issue one to pick up. I do think it'll be interesting to see if the manage to continue to make the low-budget superhero idea as compelling as they (rather surprisingly) manage to do in this debut without sliding into the morass of maudlin manipulation that is just to the left or right of their current track.

The Ultimates have an annual and not much happens, ignoring the things that made annuals such an anticipated event until things like Atlantis Attacks ruined the whole concept. Steve Dillon does draw the living shit out of it, though, which is a reason to at least give it a gander on the stands. At first I thought the script was deceptively simple, but some consideration has led me to believe that anyone who can't see the fate of Nick Fury's assassin from page six or so is an idiot and they should probably be watching Scooby-Doo for its clever plots instead of spending $4 on this. Oh yeah, the Ultimate Defenders show up again, probably just to annoy me.

Time to pack up the palm and head to work. Before I'm off, though, I wanted to make sure to tell you check out Alex Robinson's Tricked - the first hundred pages have already made sure that I think that it's a winner.

Courtesy of Fanboy Rampage aka The Greatest Comics Blog Of All Time, we give you a truly puerile thread dedicated to the idea of Earth's Mightiest Heroes aka The Avengers having a kegger. There's a lot of "Hur hur, Scarlet Witch made sweet love to a robot!" and "Hulk Smashed," as you'd expect but Tom Beland of True Story, Swear To God posted a simple, beautiful image that I am going to share with you below:


Image is ™ and Copyright Tom Beland. Iron Man, with or without
a stack of bottles and cans is ™ and Copyright Marvel Comics, Inc.

That made my shit-day-at-work much better, and reminded me that I should repost this great sketch Tom made for me at MoCCA.

Speaking of Depeche Mode, you can right click to download the new single "Precious". I think it's nice, but I've not heard it on a proper stereo yet. Thanks to Lisa for spotting this for me.

This link will die in 24 hours.

BeaucoupKevin Presents Something That Will
Amuse Maybe Four Or Five People Total.


This is the pop group "Backstreet Boys."


This is the synthpop band "Depeche Mode."

Any questions?

underworld_melt_11
Originally uploaded by eikman.

Courtesy of Eikman, here's a live photo from Underworld's appearance at the Melt Festival last month over in Germany.

I just like to remind people that I like Underworld a lot.

Apparently, baidu.com is China's answer to Google. My site has been spidered by them, which means that any post I've made linking to an MP3 I'm hosting shows up in their "I want to steal some music" search. So, if you've looked at my archives and wondered why you couldn't access, say, Chosen Few's cover of the theme to Shaft, that's why.

They cost me 3 gigs of traffic yesterday, which makes me pretty darn unhappy, even if I have a very robust plan right now.

Addendum! Suffering from the same sort of file-snatching malaise? Use this text in your robots.txt file in your root directory!

# go away
User-agent: baiduspider
Disallow: /

Thanks, Liz!

What's killing comics the week of August 10, 2005?
This shit, my friends.
See the full shopping list here.

DC Comics

FEB050364 THE BATMAN THE JOKER MAQUETTE $89.99

Ew, ew, ew!

Image

MAR051731 ADAM HUGHES WITCHBLADE #86 LITHO SGN $29.99
APR051716 ADAM HUGHES WITCHBLADE #87 LITHO SGN $29.99
MAY051528 BODY BAGS FATHERS DAY SGN #1 (OF 2) (MR) $19.99
MAY051597 ERIC BASALDUA MAGDALENA #1 LITHO $19.99
MAY051598 ERIC BASALDUA MAGDALENA #1 LITHO SGN $29.99
JUN051836 NECROMANCER BACHALO CVR #1 $2.99
JUN051835 NECROMANCER HORN CVR #1 $2.99
JUN051834 NECROMANCER MANAPUL CVR #1 $2.99
MAY051593 TERRY DODSON WITCHBLADE #88 LITHO $19.99

Image Comics, proving that all of this has happened before, and it will all happen again, except without Neo pontificating and Colonel Sanders delivering hour-long lectures about the structure of reality.

Marvel Comics

JAN058158 CAPTAIN AMERICA JOE JUSKO VARIANT COVER #8 $2.99
JUN058073 FANTASTIC FOUR HOUSE OF M LTD ED VARIANT #1 $2.99
JAN058164 HOUSE OF M MCKONE VARIANT COVER #5 (OF 8) $2.99
JUN058075 IRON MAN HOUSE OF M LTD ED VARIANT #1 $2.99
JUN058081 MUTOPIA X LTD ED VARIANT #1 $2.99
APR052860 DF BLACK PANTHER #1 QUESADA SGN $49.99

Hey, Joe Quesada, it's nice to know that I've someone to point at thanks to quotes like "... if they don�t spend it on a Marvel variant they�ll spend it on a DC variant. Who suffers in the long haul won�t be marvel or DC; it�ll be the smaller guys." Right there, you admit you're a huge part of the problem with your lapdog David Gabriel.

By the way, DC has no variants this week and the variant covers they do tend to be for second and third printings of high-demand books that are sold out. Yes, I'm sure that the completist collector mentality kicks in there, but they very rarely start out the gate with a variant and when they do, it's a 50/50 split, not this incentive shit that you've been pulling of late. In my perfect world, of course, there's no need to reprint comics, but the direct market can take the risks that newsstands could.

Nice to see your hypocritical ass manages to find the time to work with these guys, too.

Other Companies

MAY052365 FEMFORCE RARE GEMS PACK $23.95
MAY052366 FEMFORCE SOMETHING SPECIAL PACK $24.95
APR052506 FEMFORCE VICTORY REBORN GN $15.95

It's nice that there's a comic out there that makes the thankfully-long-departed Chix look like Love And Rockets.

JUN052868 GI JOE HORN EXCLUSIVE CVR #22 $9.99

I'm going to be very rude here. Cover your eyes if you don't want to read me telling Greg Horn that he can eat my fuck.

Oops.

JUN052858 HERO SQUARED XTRA SIZED SP BRAINLESS SITCOM ED #1 $6.99

OK, look. I like BOOM! Studios. I like this comic and its creators. However, this is the like the third variant for the first part of a three-issue miniseries, which I think is more than a bit silly.

JUN052862 TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #29 (O/A) (MR) $2.95
MAY052609 TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE DLX ED #33 (MR) $19.99
JUN052861 TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE SGN ED #29 (MR) $10.00

When we don't have Brian Pulido putting out crap, Jim Balent's there with his horrorporn. That means that basement-dwelling troglodytes out there will never run short of rampantly anti-female masturbatory material that they'll defend until their deaths. I suppose some people think that's nice.

What doesn't suck this week?
Dark Horse

APR050031 CONCRETE VOL 1 DEPTHS TP $12.95

CONCRETE IS ALL-REET WITH ME!!!

I'm sorry.

DC Comics

JUN050355 ADAM STRANGE PLANET HEIST TP $19.99

I was really looking forward to this until hearing about the apparently late-in-the-day shift to make sure that the adventures of an earthman defending his adopted homeworld while zipping around with a rocketpack tied into the morass that is the completely-uninteresting-to-me Infinite Crisis. Thanks to Graeme "Eagle Eyes" McMillan, here's writer Andy Diggle on the subject:"Adam Strange taught me to always agree to the ending before you start. Having the goalposts move mid-game is never a good idea."

Well.

JUN050429 WINTER MEN #1 (OF 8) (MR) $2.99

Russian Mafia. Jean Paul Leon. Just go look at it. The long glance I gave the preview copy at the shop ensured that I'm on board for the first few issues at the very least. (Why didn't I finish it? The gaggle of girls outnumbering the group of men inside the tiny comics retail establishment had me stunned.)

Image Comics

JUN051763 GUN FU TP $14.95

It's infantile and obnoxious and I enjoyed the heck out of it, even if the second series seemed to go on a bit.

Marvel

JUN052015 MEGA MORPHS #1 (OF 4) $2.99

Pick this up and just read the two-page sequence where Wolverine gets his Giant Fuck-Off Robot delivered - hilarious stuff. The rest of this is, of course, utter crap, but that bit's worth a smirking glance.

Other Companies

JUN053270 BOX OFFICE POISON COMPLETE NEW EDITION TP (O/A) $29.95
JUN053269 TRICKED GN $19.95

Not only do I think that Alex Robinson's one of the most polite and funny comics creators I've met, he manages to talk about the human condition in a funny way that cuts when it needs to without ever sliding into that dread territory that Terry Moore has mapped out extensively in Strangers In Paradise. Wow, what a long sentence. He am good - enjoy him work real good!

APR052883 COMICS JOURNAL LIBRARY VOL 5 CLASSIC COMICS ILLUSTRATORS TP $22.95

C'mooooooon. You gotta. However, I'm pretty sure I forgot to order it, which means I'll have to do some online business in the near future.

APR052890 MOME VOL 1 GN $14.95

Again, I'm fairly certain that I didn't order this. Somebody indie-smart get this and give me the skinny, ok?

That's it. It's hot in the living room and I'm going to go sit in the sweet, sweet bliss that is the air-conditioned relief of our bedroom.

I didn't post this yesterday or on Saturday night like I should have, but I wanted to thank Jim, Kitty, and Tangognat for the lovely time we had at the museum on Saturday. Good art, good conversation, and a tapestry with rabbits doing Rude Things to one another? Yes, that'll do nicely.

I'm busy today, so the list will be a little late. You can live without it until then, right?

A pair of ultra-brief reviews:

• The 49ers is very, very good. Fans of Top Ten should look for it and, without hesitation over the price point, buy it. It's sad that it's Moore's last work in the ABC universe that he's created, but I can't imagine a better swan song than this. Gene Ha's art, to absolutely nobody's surprise, is a wonder to behold on each and every page.
• I can't believe I've not told you all to read Capote In Kansas yet. Read Capote In Kansas, OK? A combination of sharp writing by Ande Parks with moody art by Chris Samnee that reminds me of When I Liked Bendis A Whole Lot More Than I Do Now, Like With Torso and Jinx.

Jack Handey speaks to his Martian captors:

If you will not free me, at least deliver a message to Earth. Send my love to my wife, and also to my girlfriend. And to my children, if I have any anyplace. Ask my wife to please send me a bazooka, which is a flower we have on Earth. If my so-called friend Don asks you where the money I owe him is, please anally probe him. Do that anyway.

If you keep me imprisoned long enough, eventually I will die. Because one thing you Martians do not understand is that we humans cannot live without our freedom. So, if you see me lying lifeless in my cage, come on in, because I�m dead. Really.

Genius Covers Sunday: Just Imagine...

This week's DC's Greatest Imaginary Stories has me
in a happy, happy place right now, so we're going with Superman
and Batman themed works in that genre. I know, it's all been
done over at Superdickery, but I'm cooler than they are, OK?


The position of Robin's left hand with that odd wrist angle
and the clencing? That looks a little...Paul Lynde.


Really, Lana, the movie's not very good, even if you're in it
quite a bit. I know; lame, lame joke.


This is included in the aforementioned DC's Greatest Imaginary
Stories book. It's bonkers - Supergirl's alter-ego, Linda Lee
is exposed to Red Kryptonite because Jimmy wants to show off how totally
pimp he is with his collection of Ways To Fuck Up Superman.
Linda goes and gets amnesia, falls for Jimmy, and the remembers
who she is after they're married. She then decides to try
to seduce Jimmy as Supergirl to "ease the shock" when Linda
reveals her alter-ego. That's right - to make sure Jimmy (who,
let's face it, seems to have a thing for that big red S) is OK
with her being Supergirl, Linda repeatedly attempts to seduce
Jimmy while in costume. On what planet are wives OK with their
husbands running around with some super-tart (even if they are
said super-tart) and not telling them about said shenanigans?


You can read this totally groovy story by Bob Haney and
Dick Dillin here.


Alfred II: And I can't believe you make us all wear these stupid
bloody "II" symbols on our chest!


This is one of the few Elseworlds books I thought was
completely worth its price tag, even in hardcover. Chaykin
and Tischman fire on all cylinders and J.H. Williams makes
with the pretty, pretty art.

Thank you, Warren Ellis.
Thank you very much.

File Under: I'm so fracking sorry.

Tigh:
Shut your fracking face, toaster fracker
You're a diode-sucking chrome-licking, toaster fracker
You're a toaster fracker, yes it's true
Nobody fracks toasters quite like you!

Chief:
Shut your fracking face, toaster fracker
You're the one that fracked your toaster, toaster fracker
You just drink and drink and deny you're wrong
and you frack your toaster all day long!

Tigh:
Fracker fracker, toaster fracker. Toaster fracker! Toaster fracker!
Shut your fracking face, toaster fracker!
You're a sparkplug-licking bastard, toaster fracker!

Chief:
You're an toaster fracker, I must say.
You fracked your toaster yesterday!
Toaster fracker, that's T-O-A-S-T-E-R, frack - ya!
Toaster fracker...suck my balls!

Author's note: Again, I'm terribly fracking sorry.

Finally doing something that might be considered mobile blogging thanks to the kindness of my new boss. I guess this means I can talk codshit wherever I go now, since I can whip out my Palm Tungsten and wireless keyboard. This is, of course, something that may have some work usefullness as I will probably work on a few press-release related notes over the next couple of days while I am out and about, doing the vague things I do when not thinking about how much comics kick ass. And that's kind of what I wanted to get around to here...

I fucking love comics. Sometimes, I know, I can seem rather down on them thanks to the massive ball of negativity that is my Shit That's Killing Comics list, but you know what? I've got a copy of The 49ers at the house right now that I am actually sort of pushing back? Why? Because I know that it will kick my ass flat and make me want more, which I won't be able to get anywhere else. Only comics can expand and contract time perfectly for my visual and reading interest. Only in comics can we get something like Sharknife or a Fantastic Four that doesn't seem too silly. Only in comics can I get a talking duck that manages to drop political smartbombs or a teenage skateboard warrior. Only in comics do I get a chance to pause the action and savor a phrase, a glance, a gesture so perfectly with the flow left intact.

I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest. I've been down lately, I guess, but I wanted to tell comics that I'm still totally hot for them and will probably make with the groping later, after I've had a drink or two. You're the best, honey.

Dear Florida:

That's it. We're breaking up. I don't care how nice a lot of the people from you are. I don't care about how many lazy summer days I enjoyed on the Gulf Coast. This shit you keep throwing at me for the last few years has piled up and piled up and I've let it slide because of our past, but this complete raving asshole from Panama City Beach is the proverbial straw on the Dromedary's spine.

I'd say it's been nice, but you know it's been going sour for the last few years, don't you? I mean, the election in 2000 really showed that we don't have much in common anymore, so you had to figure out something was wrong when I didn't return your phone calls for a few weeks after the hubbub died. Now that I'm thinking about it, it was probably earlier this year that I knew that we really were through. I mean, arresting those elementary school kids for the "violent drawings" just before throwing a five-year-old in the back of a police cruiser, handcuffed for having a temper tantrum? That should have been enough, really, but you managed to hammer the point home this time (no pun intended) and ensure that I was going to do this for my own sanity.

It's been real, and it's been fun, but...you know the rest.

BeaucoupKevin

Two things, then you can get on with your lives.

East Coast Bloggers / BOS Meetup
Just a reminder that certain people have said they're going to be at the Gardner Museum on this coming Saturday, August 9, at 1pm for the Stray Dogs exhibit and a trip to Bukowski's afterwards. By "certain people," I mean Jimbo, Kitty, and Tangognat. An excellent time will be had and you can get the chance to make fun of the Battlestar Galactica wristband that I've been sporting.

Over-The-Top Manga Makes Head Go 'Splode
I read Bambi And Her Pink Gun Volume 1 this morning, before being properly caffeinated. This may have been a mistake. It's hyper-violent, jarringly funny, and very, very pink. I quite liked it, but felt very, very dirty afterwards. The closest American equivalent would be Natural Born Killers being made by a stone-cold psychopath instead of the overly sane Oliver Stone. I'm still pretty much a manga neophyte, as I've only read a few scattered issues of What's Michael outside of Battle Royale, Planetes, and Lone Wolf And Cub, so your mileage may vary if you've read more in the medium/genre (there's an argument I'm not touching) than I have. This said, I am eagerly anticipating the second volume. Besides, there's boobies!

New header graphic, courtesy of James Kochalka's excellent "Reinventing Everything Part 2" from The Cute Manifesto. My boy Chris over at comics.212.net scanned in the image and I opted to gank it directly from him instead of, you know, buying a scanner like I keep promising to do. So, thanks to Chris and James (that's a very small joke for the old-school progressive house boffins) for their assistance. I know my photoshop and HTML skills are not the best, but I'm pretty happy with the result, which means that you're not getting stared at when you visit the site.

Nova Express Cafe
Originally uploaded by Jodi101.

So, as a fan of Grant Morrison's work, I suppose I should say something about this whole "OMG he's writing WildCats with Jim Lee?!?" thing, as I'm sure you're all waiting with bated breath¹.

Yes, I'll be buying it. I'm sure I'll probably enjoy it pretty OK, too. I thought that, even with Val Semieks trying his best to dissuade me with strange, ugly artwork, Morrison's WildC.A.T.S/JLA crossover was very well done for that sort of thing.

Speaking of strange and ugly, BoingBoing points readers over to an online Cthulu comic. Apparently, it's running under a Creative Commons License. If you're not familiar with the concept, a CC license is similar to a traditional copyright in that it protects someone from having their work stolen while allowing the creator much greater flexibility. For instance, this comic's license allows other to create derivative works based on it, but they can't go and print it out and sell it without getting smacked down. I think it's particularly apt in this case, as Lovecraft loved collaborative works - he called them the work of "divers hands."

¹You should look into retsyn, by the way.

Random Bits, Music Related

• I think it's fascinating that the video for Kanye West's new song "Diamonds" is a statement against the gem trade but never mentions hip-hop's obsession with "bling," instead choosing to single out the role of white people in the exploitation of Africans. Yes, the diamond business is despicable and run mostly by white people, but taking a second to call out his scene on something he obviously feels strongly about would make him look a lot less hypocritical. Of course, since the song itself is yet another piece of cleverly-rhymed self-promotion that features a Shirley Bassey sample resting on top of some of his beats, I wonder if he really is that shallow and can't follow through like he should.
  
• The new Saint Etienne album Tales From Turnpike House is another fine recording from the most British band whose name doesn't rhyme with Met Flop Toys. Cracknell and company slide from folk-pop to disco to ambient-backed spoken word pieces without a bit of effort, making sure that you're engaged the entire time. Pick it up now and get the six-tracks bonus EP that's for the kids. No, I'm not making that up.
  
• Lots of people downloaded my "End Of July" mix but I've received no comments about it. Was it that bad? Should I stop work on this one for September?

Your "Shit That's Killing Comics" List is
going to be shorter and less invective-packed
for the week of August 3, as I'm not feeling very well
and spewing this bile from my fingers
sort of burns after a while.

Go here to read the Diamond shipping list and follow along.

DC Comics

JUN050370 JUSTICE #1 (OF 12) $2.99

You know, I really enjoyed Superfriends a lot as a kid, but watching it now, I seem to think it's goofy, stupid, and just plain funny a lot of the time. Alex Ross doesn't think that's an appropriate line of thought and is going to give us a "realistic" take on those heroes. I think that he needs the stick pried from his ass, even if his intentions aren't entirely invalid - he wants to do a continuity-free version of the iconic heroes he loves in a disturbing, dusturbing way. In his recent Wizard interview, he said this is his last superhero work for a while, which means that in three months after Justice finishes, he'll have an Avengers mini on the block.

JUN050417 WILDSIDERZ #1 (OF 5) $3.50
JUN050418 WILDSIDERZ #1 LENTICULAR COVER VERSION #1 (OF 5) PI

Oh, J. Scott Campbell. Despite my superior taste, I enjoyed Danger Girl for the romp it was, but this shit looks awful, no matter how hard you try to get me pumped for Mighty Morphin' Holographic Rangers.

Image

APR051711 HUNTER KILLER 9.6 CGC GRADED SGN #1 $59.99
APR051712 HUNTER KILLER 9.8 CGC GRADED #1 $59.99
JUN051840 HUNTER KILLER 9.8 CGC GRADED #1 (O/A) $59.99

Yes, because the world was clamoring for these. My shop has still got a stack of the 0 issue that sold for a quarter. It's sort of strange, as Waid and Silvestri seem like a good bet for Average Fanboy, but I read it and thought it was just plain awful - maybe everyone agrees with me for once.

Marvel

JUN052001 DAREDEVIL FATHER DIRECTORS CUT #1 $2.99

You know, I'd maybe be half as nasty towards Quesada if he'd put his own shit out on time, even if it's ugly and retarded. Erik Larsen manages it, you know?

Other Companies

MAR052855 DF DESOLATION JONES #1 SGN $19.99
APR052856 DF FANTASTIC FOUR MOVIE #1 SGN $29.99
JUN052945 DF GREEN LANTERN ROSS CVR #1 SGN PI
MAR052864 DF MARVEL NEMESIS IMPERFECTS #1 TRIPLE SGN $39.99
APR052988 FATHOM #1 ORIGINAL SERIES VARIANT PACK $9.99
APR052989 FATHOM #1 ORIGINAL SERIES VARIANT PACK SIGNED ED $14.99
MAR052769 FATHOM PRELUDE GARZA REMARKED #1 $69.99
MAR052768 FATHOM PRELUDE GARZA SGN #1 $19.99
APR052991 TOMB RAIDER SCHOOL SPECIAL WWLA LTD DIGITIALLY PAINTED ED (C $24.99
APR052990 TOMB RAIDER SCHOOL SPECIAL WWLA LTD SKETCH ED $19.99
APR052992 TOMB RAIDER SCHOOL SPECIAL WWLA LTD SKETCH S/N ED $29.99

Re-issue! Re-package! Re-package!
Re-evaluate the songs
Double-pack with a photograph
Extra Track (and a tacky badge)
- The Smiths, "Paint A Vulgar Picture."

The Good Stuff.
Dark Horse

JUN050019 SERENITY BRADSTREET CVR #2 (OF 3) $2.99
JUN050018 SERENITY CHEN CVR #2 (OF 3) $2.99
JUN050020 SERENITY QUESADA CVR #2 (OF 3) $2.99

Yes, variant covers, but wow, #1 sold and sold and sold at our shop. Let's hope the Whedonites see something else they like when they're running about.

DC Comics

APR050382 BALLAD OF HALO JONES TP $19.99

Such a great book that any Alan Moore fan should own. This is off-kilter science fiction that manages to be dramatic without drifting into pathos.

JUN050361 DCS GREATEST IMAGINARY STORIES TP $19.99

Oh, yes. Oh yes, yes, yes. Just look at it. If you resist, you are stronger than I.

MAR050475 TOP TEN THE FORTY NINERS HC $24.99

So, I saw pages from this when I was [INSERT NAMEDROPPING]talking to Gene Ha[END NAMEDROPPING] a while back and even if Alan Moore has "Me monkey make poo!" coming out of every character's mouth in every panel, it will still be a work of beautiful work of magnificent genius. There will be further superlatives available after I've read it, I'm sure.

Image

JUN051814 STUPID COMICS #3 $2.99

Give Jim Mahfood your money or I'll take out your wallet and do it for you.

Marvel

JUN052073 AVENGERS VISION AND SCARLET WITCH TP $15.99

You know, the Marvel website is completely unhelpful when it comes to this, but Amazon comes through. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but goddamn, I love the loopy insanity that 70s Marvel.

MAY051816 NEW AVENGERS VOL 1 BREAKOUT HC $19.99

OK, right, I may actively dislike this title and the crap that it represents, but Marvel's releasing an oversized (I hope) hardcover at the same cost as the issues instead of slapping an extra $10 Eat It Fanboy tax on it, so I won't be burning down their corporate offices this week.

Other Companies

JUN052699 EMO BOY #2 $2.95

Oh, Emo Boy! We love you, even if you loathe us all.

Wow, I get off kind of lightly this week unless I've missed something, which I probably have. Last week dinged me to the tune of $110, which I should do some writing about in the near future, because I was very pleased with the majority of what I read.