The fun, young, hip thing for comics bloggers to do is claim that the Silver Age Lex Luthor had a hate on for Superman because of one thing: his hair loss. I saw Tim O'Neil do that just this week in an otherwise-excellent review of The Unauthorized Biography Of Lex Luthor, a book I like much less than he does but think that he makes really valid points concerning why he thinks it's peachy keen. Any real problems I may have with O'Neil for liking such an ugly text are short-lived, though - we can agree that Eduardo Barretto deserves to have a parade thrown each day in his honor for making sure comics are prettier and that's good enough.
Anyway, about this whole bald thing: it's much, much deeper than that. Young Lex Luthor comes to Smallville as a genius, and how much must that suck for him? This is a town filled with hillbillies, for god's sake! It's only after he has a chance encounter and saves Superboy from a large chunk of Kryptonite that he actually meets a peer, even if there's some hero-worship involved - he's got a room full of Superboy memorabilia, all neatly tagged in the way everybody in the Silver Age households displayed their collection. Superboy, to show his gratitude, builds Luthor an awesome laboratory to call his own and what does Young Luthor do within a few days of having his new setup?
He creates life with a chemistry set.
No, seriously, look at that again. Life.
This kid's intellect is completely wasted in this shit burg and he knows it. The only joy he's getting out of Smallville is his friendship with Superboy and how, together, they're getting things done to help make sure the yokels have a better quality of living. Now, I'm sure that the slash fiends out there can find great joy in picking apart this sort of thing, but I'm the sort of person that thinks of this as a purely harmless man-crush that we all get on, say, Harrison Ford or Christian Bale. (In Chris's case, it's on comics super-stud John Cassaday, but that's beside the point.)
Back to the main point here. Upon making this discovery, Young Luthor's first thoughts are how to reward the one that's helped him get so far. This is after he's already saved the guy's life and gotten the laboratory as a reward.
The protoplasm hasn't even cooled and he wants to give Superboy something. So far, the story's proven that the kid's arrogant and maybe a little creepy with his Superboy worship, but he's got chops in that whole science thing and he gives back when he's given a little. What can he possibly offer to Superboy that will show his gratitude?
A cure for motherfucking Kryptonite. Wow, that's a hell of a gift to throw over to the last son of Krypton, isn't it? Here's the thing, though: Luthor can do it. He's just that awesome.
Anyone that's actually read the story knows that this isn't the whiny brat that we've all heard about, is it? No - he's capable, smart, and giving in a way that nobody ever wants to give him credit for. He saved Superboy's life, he got a reward, and now he wants to pay the kid back again! He's not stealing penny candy or sneaking into the matinee at the Smallville Bijou - he's doing good.
Of course, it all goes pear-shaped. It has to go pear-shaped. It's written in the stars that pear-shaped is the way of these things and so it shall be.
OK, there's the infamous sequence that's so often extracted from, presented in its full glory. Let's review: Lex finds a cure for Kryptonite and in his enthusiasm, he apparently gets jiggy a little too hard and knocks over a flask, causing a fire. Superboy, hearing his cries for help and not thinking to himself "Hey, you know, maybe blowing super-breath into a building filled with chemicals isn't the brightest idea," does what he thinks is best for the situation and screws up horribly.
Pay attention to Luthor's dialogue immediately after the accident. He's furious at Superboy for fucking up the experiment. His going bald is completely secondary to the fact that he was trying to do a brother a solid and got bitten in the ass for his troubles. His Kryptonite serum and the life form he happened to create are now gone because Kal-El didn't show up for Chemistry 101's safety lessons. That's what he's furious over - the baldness thing, that's just salt on the wounds. Even more aggravatingly, when Lex is in the middle of reiterating that his science got all fucked up, Superboy just goes and brings up the hair again, managing to come off like an extra-large dick. Something snapped inside of Luthor that day and that's when the conflict we all know and love began.
It's not about baldness, is it? It's about getting fucked over when you're doing the right thing. Once you start looking at the whole conflict from Luthor's perspective, he becomes a lot more sympathetic as a villain. His motives for hating Superboy are understandable, even if he could probably learn to let these things go.
You may note that the scans here are much sharper than you're used to from this page. Apparently, running my images through Illustrator and doing the drop-shadow thing may have made it look neat, but reduces the legibility by a large degree. I guess I'll have to figure out another way to do make my images "pop" a bit.
Anyway, about this whole bald thing: it's much, much deeper than that. Young Lex Luthor comes to Smallville as a genius, and how much must that suck for him? This is a town filled with hillbillies, for god's sake! It's only after he has a chance encounter and saves Superboy from a large chunk of Kryptonite that he actually meets a peer, even if there's some hero-worship involved - he's got a room full of Superboy memorabilia, all neatly tagged in the way everybody in the Silver Age households displayed their collection. Superboy, to show his gratitude, builds Luthor an awesome laboratory to call his own and what does Young Luthor do within a few days of having his new setup?
He creates life with a chemistry set. No, seriously, look at that again. Life.
This kid's intellect is completely wasted in this shit burg and he knows it. The only joy he's getting out of Smallville is his friendship with Superboy and how, together, they're getting things done to help make sure the yokels have a better quality of living. Now, I'm sure that the slash fiends out there can find great joy in picking apart this sort of thing, but I'm the sort of person that thinks of this as a purely harmless man-crush that we all get on, say, Harrison Ford or Christian Bale. (In Chris's case, it's on comics super-stud John Cassaday, but that's beside the point.)
Back to the main point here. Upon making this discovery, Young Luthor's first thoughts are how to reward the one that's helped him get so far. This is after he's already saved the guy's life and gotten the laboratory as a reward. The protoplasm hasn't even cooled and he wants to give Superboy something. So far, the story's proven that the kid's arrogant and maybe a little creepy with his Superboy worship, but he's got chops in that whole science thing and he gives back when he's given a little. What can he possibly offer to Superboy that will show his gratitude?
A cure for motherfucking Kryptonite. Wow, that's a hell of a gift to throw over to the last son of Krypton, isn't it? Here's the thing, though: Luthor can do it. He's just that awesome. Anyone that's actually read the story knows that this isn't the whiny brat that we've all heard about, is it? No - he's capable, smart, and giving in a way that nobody ever wants to give him credit for. He saved Superboy's life, he got a reward, and now he wants to pay the kid back again! He's not stealing penny candy or sneaking into the matinee at the Smallville Bijou - he's doing good.
Of course, it all goes pear-shaped. It has to go pear-shaped. It's written in the stars that pear-shaped is the way of these things and so it shall be.
OK, there's the infamous sequence that's so often extracted from, presented in its full glory. Let's review: Lex finds a cure for Kryptonite and in his enthusiasm, he apparently gets jiggy a little too hard and knocks over a flask, causing a fire. Superboy, hearing his cries for help and not thinking to himself "Hey, you know, maybe blowing super-breath into a building filled with chemicals isn't the brightest idea," does what he thinks is best for the situation and screws up horribly.
Pay attention to Luthor's dialogue immediately after the accident. He's furious at Superboy for fucking up the experiment. His going bald is completely secondary to the fact that he was trying to do a brother a solid and got bitten in the ass for his troubles. His Kryptonite serum and the life form he happened to create are now gone because Kal-El didn't show up for Chemistry 101's safety lessons. That's what he's furious over - the baldness thing, that's just salt on the wounds. Even more aggravatingly, when Lex is in the middle of reiterating that his science got all fucked up, Superboy just goes and brings up the hair again, managing to come off like an extra-large dick. Something snapped inside of Luthor that day and that's when the conflict we all know and love began.
It's not about baldness, is it? It's about getting fucked over when you're doing the right thing. Once you start looking at the whole conflict from Luthor's perspective, he becomes a lot more sympathetic as a villain. His motives for hating Superboy are understandable, even if he could probably learn to let these things go.
You may note that the scans here are much sharper than you're used to from this page. Apparently, running my images through Illustrator and doing the drop-shadow thing may have made it look neat, but reduces the legibility by a large degree. I guess I'll have to figure out another way to do make my images "pop" a bit.
