The Steve Ebbling Crank File: He Hate Me.
So, there's this guy, operating under the nom de plume of "Steve Ebbling" that posts comments about how horrible I am whenever he gets the chance. In fact, if you Google his name, you can see that he only shows up in conversations where my name is involved, excluding one time in which he decided to say that Wally Wood was really keen.
In the past, he's accused me of being unfunny (fair enough), unattractive (beauty, eye of the beholder, etc), a closeted homosexual (I'm not in the closet about anything, really), arrogant (I think he failed Irony and Sarcasm 101), and thin-skinned. He's also taken the time to insult Birdie's art skills (um) and the characters of The Rack for their appearance as well as declaring them (and us) idiots for not spotlighting a hardcover Grendel reprint. He's done his unique brand of trolling from multiple locations: what I believe to be his job at Grey Global Group as well as his home and even the School for Visual Arts.
I've never met Steve or spoken with him, but I've decided that any man with an obsession and need for attention from me like Steve's put on display should get a spotlight feature, so here we are: a week of his comments, shown to you all for your scrutiny, evaluation, and even cheerleading if you share his sentiment.
I'm also making an open offer: if Steve chooses to create a blog dedicated to how very awful I am, I will be more than happy to link to it from my sidebar.
April 1
There's an entire conversation about me on the comments for Mike Sterling's April Fool's day prank, starting with this:
April 2
I think he's going to be disappointed when I say that neither Sterling nor I are going to be attending SDCC this year. Curious, though, how fixated he is on this idea that I'm gay while Steve's the one taking time out of his day to tell another man that he's thinking of him and fisting simultaneously.
It should be noted that I think Progressive Ruin is better than my site, too.
April 3
Steve's not much for creativity in his insults. Check out his response to my con report and picks of the week:
"See you soon tubby" does bother me, though, because I'd really like to know if Steve plans on making a visit. If that's the case, I should put the good linen on the futon in the extra room.
And no, Kristin does not attend comic conventions with me for the same reason I don't go to flower shows with her. This may be shocking to Steve, but sometimes people have divergent interests and still enjoy each other's company. Another shock for our favorite troll may follow when I say that men can hang out without having crazy amounts of buttsex with one another.
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
April 5
Steve apparently took a day off for rest and reflection, but came roaring back with a response to a post where I mentioned dinner with friends:
April 7
For two days, piece and quiet settled across my land. Birds began singing again from their branches and I lived a life free of kindergarten-level accusations concerning my sex life. If course, that didn't last as someone using the name "Mark Martell" decided to accuse of of cock-suckery in this pair of bon mots:
So, that's it. Seven days' worth of comments from my own personal troll. According to Steve Ebbling or Mark Martell or whatever his name is, I'm a doughy, inbred-looking, closeted homosexual lacking in any design skills or taste in comics. That may be true, but at least I have one loyal reader. Thank you, Steve or Mark or whoever you are. It's always nice to see that somebody cares enough to comment.
In the past, he's accused me of being unfunny (fair enough), unattractive (beauty, eye of the beholder, etc), a closeted homosexual (I'm not in the closet about anything, really), arrogant (I think he failed Irony and Sarcasm 101), and thin-skinned. He's also taken the time to insult Birdie's art skills (um) and the characters of The Rack for their appearance as well as declaring them (and us) idiots for not spotlighting a hardcover Grendel reprint. He's done his unique brand of trolling from multiple locations: what I believe to be his job at Grey Global Group as well as his home and even the School for Visual Arts.
I've never met Steve or spoken with him, but I've decided that any man with an obsession and need for attention from me like Steve's put on display should get a spotlight feature, so here we are: a week of his comments, shown to you all for your scrutiny, evaluation, and even cheerleading if you share his sentiment.
I'm also making an open offer: if Steve chooses to create a blog dedicated to how very awful I am, I will be more than happy to link to it from my sidebar.
April 1
There's an entire conversation about me on the comments for Mike Sterling's April Fool's day prank, starting with this:
It figures that we should celebrate Kevin on All Fool's Day.
That's what he is, through and through.
That's not enough for Steve, though. Concerning Lawyerbear, he writes:That's what he is, through and through.
Wow, I know it"s April Fool's day and all, but this is really lame humor, even for someone like you.
Boooorrrrriiiiinnng!
Good Lord, I think most of your generation find crap like this witty and amusing, no wonder why comics suck lately.
Absolutely no taste.
Later,
Steve Ebbling
I like how he signed it, in case I thought James Lipton or Ralph Macchio took the time swing by and insult me randomly. That's good of Steve. Interesting though, that he speaks of "my generation," isn't it? I wonder if Steve is in his 40s or 50s, which adds an interesting spin on things.Boooorrrrriiiiinnng!
Good Lord, I think most of your generation find crap like this witty and amusing, no wonder why comics suck lately.
Absolutely no taste.
Later,
Steve Ebbling
April 2
I bet you're wondering what Steve had to say about Monday edition The Rack? Surprisingly, he avoided mentioning my inferior writing (this was all Birdie anyway, maybe he sensed that) and went for insulting my hometown, appearance, and size. Nice trifecta here:
Raised in Atlanta?
No wonder you're fat and look like an inbred.
P.S. How many times did you promise Sterling that you would pleasure him at SDCC if he mentioned you on his superior blog?
Fisting, Felching, etc.
Steve Ebbling
I think he's going to be disappointed when I say that neither Sterling nor I are going to be attending SDCC this year. Curious, though, how fixated he is on this idea that I'm gay while Steve's the one taking time out of his day to tell another man that he's thinking of him and fisting simultaneously.
It should be noted that I think Progressive Ruin is better than my site, too.
April 3
Steve's not much for creativity in his insults. Check out his response to my con report and picks of the week:
You look like an inbred, bloated pasty dough boy in those flickr photos. Doesn't your beard go with you to comic related events? Or just guys? Your new logo sucks, each one is worse. You are not a designer, accept that fact and move on. Your picks of the week make me think that you are a 13yr old girl, with the same lame taste that a girl that age has.
See you soon tubby, Steve Ebbling
Ideally, a troll should have multiple salvos at the ready when insulting someone. Returning to my size and breeding marks a disappointing step in the direction of "stale hack," however Ebbling does earn some points back for going for my (yes, very white) complexion. I am confused, though, by his insistence that I am a homosexual man (as if that's a bad thing) and a 13-year-old girl (who really likes Mike Allred, crime comics, and Legion of Superheroes reprints) at the same time. It's nice to see that he notices that my headers change, though, even if he doesn't like them. Maybe he should switch to the RSS feed? It's a shame he didn't comment about the quality of my photos; that would have been a good dig to make.See you soon tubby, Steve Ebbling
"See you soon tubby" does bother me, though, because I'd really like to know if Steve plans on making a visit. If that's the case, I should put the good linen on the futon in the extra room.
And no, Kristin does not attend comic conventions with me for the same reason I don't go to flower shows with her. This may be shocking to Steve, but sometimes people have divergent interests and still enjoy each other's company. Another shock for our favorite troll may follow when I say that men can hang out without having crazy amounts of buttsex with one another.
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
April 5
Steve apparently took a day off for rest and reflection, but came roaring back with a response to a post where I mentioned dinner with friends:
Again with always mentioning being with guys. Where's "the beard"? Subconscience. Subconscience. Subconscience.
Just saying.
Steve
Two things:Just saying.
Steve
- I suspect if I mentioned I was talking to girls, Steve would interpret it as me being feminine. That's fairly clever, creating a no-win scenario that allows him to condemn me for a sexuality I don't have but he really seems to want. Look, Steve: just ask me out. I'll let you down easily.
- It's subconscious. There is no such word as subconscience.
April 7
For two days, piece and quiet settled across my land. Birds began singing again from their branches and I lived a life free of kindergarten-level accusations concerning my sex life. If course, that didn't last as someone using the name "Mark Martell" decided to accuse of of cock-suckery in this pair of bon mots:
You really wanna dig up Kirby from the grave and suck his worthless cock, don't you?
and
You do suck cock, don't you? Anyone who listens to this crap does. Just admit it.
To clarify: I'm gay because I like Jack Kirby's work and enjoy the music of Pet Shop Boys. At least I wasn't caught drinking grape soda or eating with chopsticks to avoid any sort of possible racial slur. Anyway, about "Mark Martell" - either somebody else at Grey Advertising hates me a lot, or it's an alternate ID for Steve; maybe his real name? Google provides me with no hard information about a New York-based Mark Martell, but I find it fascinating that Steve or Mark is so interested in me that he constructs an alternate identity to hurl insults at me. You know, more than his constant harping on a sexuality I don't have and repeated mentions of my complexion and size, it's the fact he called Jack Kirby worthless that really pisses me off.and
You do suck cock, don't you? Anyone who listens to this crap does. Just admit it.
So, that's it. Seven days' worth of comments from my own personal troll. According to Steve Ebbling or Mark Martell or whatever his name is, I'm a doughy, inbred-looking, closeted homosexual lacking in any design skills or taste in comics. That may be true, but at least I have one loyal reader. Thank you, Steve or Mark or whoever you are. It's always nice to see that somebody cares enough to comment.
