"Why are we talking about some lousy sports team when we should be tracking down Spider-man before he strikes again! Where's Parker?! Paaaaaarker!!"
J. Jonah Jameson provides "The NBA Closer" for DeadSpin.com:
New Orleans 114, Indiana 106. Many people ask me, "Mr. Jameson, if Spider-man is as dangerous as you say, why is he always saving people from criminals and super-villains?" The answer is simple: Because he's really an egomaniac, a neurotic trouble-maker flaunting his power before the ordinary citizens whom he despises! For all we know, he himself provokes the criminals whom he later seems to defeat! And that makes my blood boil. You know what else makes my blood boil? Hoosiers! What the hell is a "Hoosier" anyway? So yeah, I was glad Chris Paul and the Hornets stung the Pacers. Get it? "Stung the Pacers." That's some clever journalism is what that is. Write that down. Anyway, Paul had 31 points and 14 assists, and David West added 35 points and 15 rebounds. I don't know a lot about basketball, but I've been told those numbers are pretty good. The Pacers got 26 points out of Danny Granger and another 17 out of Shawne Williams. Hey, didn't Williams harbor a suspected murderer earlier this season? Hey, maybe he's harboring that web-headed miscreant, Spider-man! Where's Peter Parker? I'd better send him to get some pictures...
