This is a post involving alcohol, so those of you who don’t imbibe can go look elsewhere for a moment, ok?

You see that bottle on the left? That’s what I call a “warning.” I want the rest of you who appreciate the ambrosia that is fine bourbon to avoid the foul shit that’s currently polluting my liquor cabinet. No matter how neat the bottle is, no matter how much you may want to try something new, avoid the donkey piss that is Russell’s 10 Year Reserve, which I am quite convinced actually has very little to do with master distiller Jimmy Russell despite the press releases I’ve seen that say otherwise. In fact, press releases by the parent company are the only comments I’ve seen on this particular potion, outside of ads on taxis, which should have been my first warning sign.

In fact, that’s enough of a sign to become Kevin’s First Corollary of Alcohol: If there are ads on TV or in public transportation for the intoxicant, it is most likely of inferior quality and will make you regret spending your money on it.

Write that down, because there may well be more in the future.

The thing is, I’ve liked Russell’s work with Wild Turkey in their premium line and think it’s a real shame he’s associated himself with a bitter, acrid potion that tastes more of flint and ashes than the caramel and gloriousness that I associate with bourbon that costs more than $30 for a 750ml. Avoid, avoid, avoid and instead put your money towards Baker’s (my favorite value in the arena) or get some Bulliet at around the same price point instead.

We now return you to our regular enthusiastic posts about comics, the staff’s other brain-deadening obsession.