The Temporary Return of Genius Covers Sunday.

By Neal Adams, if you couldn’t tell.

You know, it was when I was applying Photoshop’s dodge tool to the Flash’s crotch to make the colors pop just a bit more that I realized how odd my hobby is.

Anyway.

The story in Flash #203 features Barry Allen coming home to discover that his wife has been yanked 1000 years into the future. How does he know that?

Edit:
Here’s what commentor RJackson has to say about this cover:

Did you know that the bearded individual in the photo half of that cover is none other than Stan Lee?! It is – DC was going to do it as a joke, but supposedly Lee found out and was pissed about it – the beard is a paste up/fake that Julie Schwartz had put on before it went to print.

The original of that cover hangs in the gallery at Metropolis Comics in Manhattan; and in the original, the hand drawn and inked beard is quite clear.

How brilliant is that?

Kirby Saturday: Forward On The Line!

From Classics Illustrated Special Issue: The War Between The States

"If I can…wiggle my ears…"

Two observations:

• Great Haney’s Ghost! “Holy knit one, purl two!” is the most brilliant line any incarnation of Robin has ever delivered.
• Someone’s masturbating to this right now.

The Rack: Committed To Friday Excellence. (At least the artist is.)

You know why today’s edition of The Rack is two hours late? Because it takes a long time to draw a comic as well as Birdie did. Man.

Gotta Catch ‘Em All!

Mike started it, because his pal Reid demanded.

It’s not that they’re singing in a foreign language; they’re just f*cking nuts.

An (Unsolicited) Introduction To A Trade Paperback That Doesn’t Exist (Yet): Johnny Hiro

I hate Fred Chao, the comic book creator.

No, not Fred Chao the person. He’s very nice, very funny, and humble about his gifts as can be. I like that Fred Chao a lot, from our limited interactions at MoCCA and over e-mail. (We still have to do that thing, guy. I know, we’re both busy. My people, your people, etc.)

I’m talking about hating the Fred Chao that puts together the book you’re holding right now. Johnny Hiro. Oh, how my teeth ground when I saw that name in the solicitations. I don’t like pun-based names, especially Hiro-related ones because, hey, I read Snow Crash. After someone like Neal Stephenson calls their lead character Hiro Protagonist and NBC’s biggest hit in years features a hero named Hiro, it’s obviously pretty pointless to go in that direction. Of course, nobody told Fred that, and here we are, with me hating that he makes it work as well as he does, professional jealousy causing a vein in my forehead to pulse in time to ABBA’s “Fernando.”

And this is writerly jealousy, which is a particularly nasty strain of things. Don’t get me wrong, I think Fred’s art sings, especially when he draws action scenes and Johnny’s “sexy girlfriend” Mayumi in the act of being absolutely adorable. It’s just that I can’t draw. Not one bit. Anyone can draw better than me, so Fred’s achievements in that area, while multitudinous, are completely unsurprising in their superiority.

Here’s the thing: it doesn’t really bug me that he’s a better writer than I am. There’s tens of dozens of thousands of people out there that can claim that, too. My problem with Fred Chao is thus: he makes it look easy to do the things he does.

Fred’s characters are clearly defined from the moment they hit the page. For example, under almost any other writer, Mayumi’s broken English would be an unbearable roadblock, but Fred makes it work because she’s not just a cute girl who’s there for the hero (sorry) to rescue or come home to. She’s smart, career-minded, and manages to deal with a giant monster attack with the best of them and Johnny’s adoration of her bleeds off the page and into the reader without it seeming cloying or trite. Johnny himself lives up to his last name with a selflessness that’s endearing – I don’t think I’ve ever rooted for Superman or Batman like I did our title character during the second issue’s quest for a lobster to serve a well-known reviewer. (Yes, I got that joke. And the other foodie joke Fred tossed in there. They make me hate him more.)

When you read the stories in this volume, you may feel that twinge of jealousy, too. Act on it. Tell other people about how much you hate Fred and why. In a perfect world, he’d be among the most hated men in comics.

Kevin Church drinks too much, created and frequently writes The Rack (http://www.therackcomic.com), and has somehow convinced real publishers to let him take a whack at ‘real’ comic books for cash money.

Lesson Learned: Don’t f*ck with gorillas unless your Kung-Fu is strong.

Random thoughts, outbound links.

• Look, if you don’t want to celebrate Kick A Dude That Talks Like A Pirate In The Junk Day, that’s fine, but don’t ruin the fun for me.

• Here’s a PDF for the first page of Mister Wonderful, Dan Clowes’s “graphic novel” for the New York Times Magazine. I find it annoying that Mister Wonderful is going to end up being a 20-page comic book but they’re apparently embarrassed to call a spade a spade and lunge for the cloying, increasingly-misused “graphic novel” in order to keep up appearances. However, I’d be delighted if they started using “graphic novella,” because that’s just plain funny.
• Every time the Star Wars comics editors describe their upcoming Vector event as being a Civil War-like crossover, I wonder if that means that Wicket is going to become a bad guy and Ackbar’s going to get shot as he leaves the Senate floor.
• Here are four things I care about more than the Green Arrow/Black Canary wedding: Alfonso Ribeiro selling a breakdancing book, Wes Anderson’s new AT+T commercials, the release of the first Fart Party book and mulch.
• It should be noted that I did read and enjoy the JLA Wedding Special, despite the fact the book was misnomered and featured Batman using the first names of other JLA members at a crime scene. (I also think that the whole Injustice League story should have started in the main title, but that’s just good marketing, much like not titling the book The JLA Bachelor and Bachelorette Party Special.)
• The word “Countdown” may only be used 16 times in DC’s December solicitations, but that’s in reference to thirteen comics across five titles featuring the branding. “Countdown” is the new “X-Men,” apparently.
• People are shocked by Kevin Smith cursing a blue streak? Huh.
• Does anyone read DC’s Confidential titles? I was checking out the Superman book, but the scheduling on that got shot to hell and, frankly, I wasn’t crazy about the story anyway.

The Rack: Staff Picks for the week of September 19, 2007

Right?

This is the best you get; I made it at work.

Experiment 03

Jim Woodring just blew my mind, man!

Jack Kirby does indeed appear, briefly, on a few of these recordings, playing trumpet and electric guitar. I’m not lying. Somewhere in the house I have a few photos of him wearing sunglasses and playing a Strat with the ensemble.

(Courtesy of Spurge.)

Hand shadows, Michael. Shadow puppets are for Boy Scout Jamborees and Tupperware parties.

The Rack: I’ll have the omakase, please.

So, about The Punisher…. (No, you’re not reading Sims’s blog.)

I just read The Punisher: Widowmaker and I have a question.

What the hell happened to Garth Ennis when he was a kid that this sort of stuff spews out of him? Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was a fantastically put-together and deeply compelling work, but that final confrontation with Jenny and Annabella Cesare…that went places that shocked me, and I watched Castle disembowel a man and string his entrails on a tree.

If the drums that Rich Johnston is beating are to be believed, then Ennis is considering walking away from this book after eight years. I can’t say I blame him: this sort of material has to wear someone down after a while. (Unless, of course, unless they’re a complete sociopath, which is something I don’t think this particular writer is.)

Experiment 02

Please do not call me, DJ Unk.

No? It’s just me, then?

OK.

Man alive, Bob Kanigher. This is twisted.

From Metal Men #17.
Art by Andru and Esposito.

Yes, that’s a female (crying!) robot, complaining that her love-potion has misfired, causing the man of her dreams to become enraptured with the image of a sexy female robot that a giant “black widow spider” alien had projected into his brain so she could get at his brainmeats.

Goddamn, I love the Silver Age.

The Rack: Face it, Danny…

There’s a schedule change announced and a new comic strip to brighten your Monday morning. My, Earth is really full of things!