A baker’s dozen of songs that I would want to hear if I were going out tonight instead of sitting on the couch, nursing a cold.

OH WAIT A BONUS! (I should have put it on the list originally.)

The Rack: New Year’s Resolution.

So, here’s the last installment of The Rack for 2007.

Yup, that’s what it is.

EOY2007 Contest: Round Three

As you may know, I’m giving away a book that I wrote. Now, more questions and answers!

Maxo:

Who would win in an all-out cage match, Bob Haney or Bob Kanigher? And what would the Mortal Kombat-style finishing move be called?

Dude, uh, they’re both dead. God, you’re morbid and weird, Maxo. (And it would be called the “With-It Whirlwind – All The Hip Cats Dig It Because It’s Way Out!”)

Ryan:

What, EXACTLY, does Tony Stark make me feel while being a cool exec with a heart of steel?

Ken Lowery:

Is it tricky to rock a rhyme?

It’s notoriously difficult to “rock a rhyme” that is as timely as required, so yes.

Brandon Bragg:

Rank Morrison’s The Invisibles, Doom Patrol and Animal Man. And why that order?

I ain’t gonna do that because it depends on what you’re looking for.

High-concept, brain-bending, adrenalized hyper-fiction featuring conspiracies, martial arts, heavy drug use, and frequently very spotty art? The Invisibles.

High-concept, brain-bending, thought-provoking hyper-fiction featuring a revitalized Silver Age super-team grappling with the bleeding edge of whatever Mondo 2000 was covering that month? Doom Patrol.

High-concept, brain-bending, thought-provoking, meta-fiction featuring a revitalized Silver Age superhero grappling with the bleeding edge of DC’s continuity while Chas Truog’s art makes you go “Wait, he got hired? Really?” Animal Man.

Pat

How much Garmonbonzia do I want?

What the hell are you going on about?

Will Wise:

Comparing the current state of Marvel’s Ultimate line with the Marvel Adventures titles, which direction is better for attracting new readers, and is there a better option?

While the former works well for the young-adult, trade-oriented market (bookstores, etc), the Marvel Adventures line is ideal for getting the new readers that I’d consider most important: the kids. The thing is, I don’t think either of the big two superhero publishers are where we’re going to really get new readers: it’s manga (which I’m pretty sure is due to have a bust soon) that’ll get people into comic shops where, hopefully, staff can point out things they may be able to transition to, like Runaways.

Karl Ruben:

Which was the best single of 1981?

This one.

Y’all’ve got the rest of the day to sort out something, then I’m gonna do what I do.

Hey, let’s talk about Marvel’s January Solicitations in list form.

I generally ignore previews from Marvel anymore, so I’m sure you’ve already noticed all of this. Indulge me.

• Nice Doc Savage tribute on the cover of The Twelve #3.

• Ultimate Iron Man II #4 hits streets the same month as the hardcover collection for the entire 4-issue miniseries. No rewards for you, early reader! (More on the book edition a bit further down.)
• I don’t want to be that guy (mostly because I’m remiss in even noticing the change,) but going from Frank Cho to Mark Bagley on The Mighty Avengers is going to give a lot of the book’s original audience a bit of whiplash, isn’t it? Not that Bagley isn’t as competent as they come, but, you know, right?
• Hey, you know whose origin didn’t need to be retold again? You can find out when you read Mythos: Captain America, a book that seems to exist only to remind the world that Paul Jenkins has something on Joe Quesada.
• I don’t necessarily want to read the new Millar/Hitch Fantastic Four, but issue 555 has this solicitation:
  

  “Buy this issue for a first-look at mankind’s new home. Also, the Torch gets nekkid with a supervillain.”

  That’s damned hard to resist, that right there. Yes, I’m easy. Just like your mom.

• Speaking of things that are tempting until you look at the writer, that Ed McGuinness-drawn Hulk comic sure appears to fun, but after seeing how thorough Loeb was at missing the point in The Ultimates Volume 3 #1, I’m just going to wait until some other sucker wanders into that particular field of fire.
• Cable’s first issue proves just one thing.

  

  Dude hates babies so much he hides behind them.

• I more-than-kind-of want to read this Logan miniseries. Risso’s art seems so perfect for Wolverine that I’m shocked it’s taken this long.
• I had no idea that Criminal was going to undergo a format change, but 40 pages of the best comic on the stands for $3.50 sounds like a good idea to me.
• The Ultimate Iron Man II hardcover sets a new high for commercial hubris – $20 for four issues. $20 for ninety-six pages of books from which you’ve already made ad and sales revenue in just the last four months? Man, I want to borrow Dan Buckley’s balls for a while so I can start a four-square league.

The Amazing Adventures of Little Batman

EOY2007 Contest: The Second Round.

Hey, wow, we’re giving away something. Now more questions:

Luke:

What is your opinion about 2000AD being available online in pay-to-download PDF format with only a week’s delay between the paper prog and the digitial prog? (Right now there is only one prog available because it is the triple-sized year end special.)

I don’t read 2000AD, but it sounds like it’s not the worst thing in the world. If people will drop $.99 on a heavily-DRM’d pop song, the equivalent for a brand-new comic strikes me as a decent idea. (I go more into this with another question)

Also, they have to stop calling issues “progs.” It’s wicked stupid, yo.

Dan:

If you were stranded on Mars, which Paul Mantee would you choose as your partner in survival:

Cagney and Lacey Paul Mantee
Quincy Paul Mantee
Vega$ Paul Mantee
Mannix Paul Mantee
or
Robinson Crusoe on Mars Paul Mantee?

Think carefully. The answer is not obvious.

But…but…I just got that Criterion edition of Robinson Crusoe On Mars and Mantee’s resourcefulness means that I’d be covered. Plus, there’d be a monkey. There’d be a monkey, right? Right? (Please let there be a monkey.)

I don’t care what you say, I’m going with Commander Kit Draper.

(You forgot his great turn on Seinfeld as the health inspector in “The Pie.”)

Shane:

If you could change 5 things about the comic industry, what would you change?

1. More comics about Batman.
2. More comics guest-starring Batman.
3. Batman becomes an open-source character, meaning any company can use him as long as they make sure to credit Bill Finger and Bob Kane with his creation.
4. Yes, #3 includes Eros. Hello, easy money!
5. Stephanie Brown gets a glass case in the Batcave, but Tim “accidentally” knocks it into the abyss.

The Eyeball Kid:

What sea creature is your favorite in terms of: Deliciousness? Oddity? Humorousness? World Domination Potential?

Deliciousness: I can’t lie. As cliché as it is, I love a nice piece of bluefin tuna, raw, with just a bit of wasabi and soy, more than I love just about any other single item of food ever. Sashimi fuels my hate rockets better than anything else, especially once the sake flows.

Oddity: Teuthowenia pellucida, or the glass squid, enraptured me the first time I saw it on some oceanic nature show or another. It glows and looks alien and junk and is awesome.

Humorousness: Man, I have been looking for the last half hour and I can’t find the picture of that funny-looking fish that reminds me of Killroy, but that fish? Man, he cracks me the fuck up. (UPDATE: Leigh found it! Man, that fish is a riot.)

World Domination Potential: If this badass ever comes back, we’re fucked.

Paperghost:

Did you study photography at Uni or anything, or is it just something you do in your spare time? And which do you prefer – taking pictures, or writing?

I’ve never taken any sort of photography courses, but have considered it a few times. I’ve read one book – Understanding Exposure – multiple times, and that’s done me a world of good. In addition to getting the basics of exposure, apeture, and the like down to where I can fake it when I’m not making it, I get really inspired by books in the Photofile series: Elliot Erwitt, Bill Brandt, and Henri Cartier-Bresson being the ones I refer to the most. (The last, I just can’t figure out how he did what he did with what he had – frustrating and inspiring at the same time.)

I don’t prefer one to the other as far as photography vs writing goes. It’s two different sets of muscles, even if they tend to both be visually-skewed. I love photography because it’s a way of capturing a moment, but writing lets me create a moment. Both can be extremely rewarding.

Dan Coyle:

How many men were going to St. Ives?

One man, seven wives. I think I saw that on the Spice channel in the mid-90s.

Thomas:

Yeah, so we all know that CBR files are very bad and that DCP is an shadowy organization of worse repute than the Cosa Nostra, but … have you ever been so tempted by a delicious-looking torrent of Silver Age comics that you had to download? More seriously, do you think that sites like the now-neutered Z-Cult or now-defunct OiNK (which had a very healthy if little discussed comics sub-community) were hurting the already suffering comic book industry by siphoning away paying readers? Or were they introducing comics to new eyes, as some claim about music torrents and new ears?

I’ll admit to downloading a torrent of Herbie: The Fat Fury because I can not find issues of that, no matter how deeply I delve. As far as other Silver Age comics go, I am confident that DC and Marvel’s aggressive reprint campaigns mean I can legally obtain pretty much everything I want easily and at a very competitive cost.

I think that many of the people who downloaded Big Two comics from Oink and Z-Cult were unlikely to spend money on the comics anyway, thus not actually depriving the business of customers and there were certainly people who found things they enjoyed and wanted in print, but the current generation of entry-level comics readers are used to getting things digitally with the click of a mouse and not considering who gets paid. This can work to benefit the copyright holders – think about how easy it is for the average user to download a song from iTunes versus torrenting or having to deal with P2P networks. Marvel and DC should have, from the second that they got an idea that people were downloading their comics, aggressively pursued an easy-to-use web sales where new comics were cheap to obtain. (See my earlier answer that invoked the eMusic model as an example.)

With that in place, I it would seem supremely logical to craft a marketing funnel that then led to weekly or monthly emails to users of this system I just pulled out of my ass where they’d be reminded that something like Iron Man: Extremis was available to buy in stores.

So, in brief: some new eyes, many thieves that wouldn’t have paid anyway, and the occasional new customer.

I’ll answer more tomorrow, as I’ve got to go get my drink on.

The Rack: (The Other) Black Friday

Man, I dunno if it’s just the fact I’ve started beating him less or what, but this new format has made Birdie’s art just sing, daddy.

It’s grim up north.

EOY2007 Contest: The First Round.

Refer to the previous post to find out why people are asking me all these questions. Now, let’s begin.

Andrew:

If you were given the opportunity to write — with no creative interference involved — a title featuring existing licensed comics character/team/concept/whatever of your choice, which one would you choose, and why?

I’ve never read an issue of Damage Control, but the team concept really appeals to me, so I’d do the necessary research and dive in, I guess. (Especially if I could do it as a six-to-twelve issue comedy set during the Silver Age, parodying the worst aspects of Roy Thomas and his ilk.)

That or Batman, who’d just beat the crap out of dudes. I also have a strange itch to do an old-school Wolverine story set in Madripoor in the 50s.

Adrian:

Where did you hide the body?

We don’t talk about that any more, especially if we don’t want to end up rotting under the boardwalk at Coney Island, got it?

Alex:

Train A leaves Detroit at 3.45pm, on a balmy tuesday in May; Train B leaves Paris at 6.10am on a brisk November morning. Train A is carrying a hundred and fifty moderately existential poets to a conference in Vegas; Train B is transporting one hundred and fifty import/export consultants to a rest’n'relaxation clinic in the rolling countryside of Normandy. A butterfly flaps it’s wings. In Oslo a woman is crying. You are a Scorpio. If both trains are travelling at exactly the same speed – why does Jeph Loeb suck so much?

I certainly wouldn’t say that Loeb unilaterally sucks – I like specific chunks of a lot of his work, despite the overwrought narrative that drips everywhere. There are moments from Superman For All Seasons that still get to me. Mind you, these are just moments, but he’s got to be appealing to enough of the readers for Marvel to sign him to that exclusive.

(Does that mean his work is good? No, but it’s popular, and that’s all that matters.)

Mr Witt:

how ’bout a game of street hockey? (yes, i know: lame jokey question, but xmas has fried my psyche again…) nice blog, keep it up, thanks!

Nah, man, I wrecked my ankle in New York. You kids have fun, though.

Rjackson:

O(B)G (Original Battlestar Galactica)? or Newsk00L Galactica? Bonus Question: Joanie Loves Chaci (sp?)? or Scott Baio: 45 and Single?? The world wants to know Kevin. Merry Holidays and New Year!

The new Battlestar Galactica is my favorite program on TV. And if I said how much I’m looking forward to the trainwreck that is Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant, I’d probably get kicked off my own damn blog.

Matt Brough:

Who would be your pick to write The Punisher when Ennis leaves?

Jeph Loeb with art by Joe Madureira.

Chris Bird:

What movie featuring a “big two” character do you most want to see? Which do you think is most “doable” as a movie or movie franchise for story reasons? Explain your reasoning and include preferred major cast picks.

Unlike a lot of people, I don’t really care about superhero movies unless they look like they’re worth a toss. I actually prefer them in comics form, where Grant Morrison’s mad ideas or Jack Kirby’s dynamic layouts can serve the characters best. That said, a relaunched, noir-influenced Daredevil film series that hewed a bit closer to “reality” would be appealing, particularly if they just moved things forward so that we were five or six years into the character’s career. As far as casting goes, I’ll say Jamie Bamber because he’s so dreamy, with Scarlett Johansson as Karen Page and Seth Rogan as Foggy.

J Hopkins:

who killed Laura Palmer?

Leland, while possessed by BOB. Duh.

Philip Looney:

Where do you think superhero comics are headed? Up or down? Will Digital comics eventually save the industry?

Down (Countdown and its spinoffs) with some exceptions (All-Star Superman) that appeal to a broader audience and offer a glimpse at the bigger comic book universes without requiring a PhD in Nerdology. As far as digital comics, the current model Marvel is offering is pathetic. Renting access to a limited library of titles is a very old-business model, the equivalent of going to a Blockbuster with 1000 movies instead of using Netflix. I’ve preached about eMusic’s model before, but it seems to be one that works for artists and the company: download (and be able to keep) X many titles/tracks for $Y a month. Since someone’s already done the hard work of creating the .cbz and .cbr formats, it seems odd that the companies aren’t using them, particularly since they could embed updated ads into older comics.

Shane:

What’s my middle name?

Arkedelphia.

Hey, let’s do an end-of-the-year contest. [EOY2007 Contest]

We’ve done this a few times before and it’s worked out well, so let’s do this one final time for 2007.

You: Ask me a question between now and 11:59:59 on December 31, 2007. Do it in the comments of this or any other post labeled EOY2007 Contest.

I: Answer your questions and pick a “best” question winner.

The Prize: A copy of the Cover Girl trade when I get my copies(probably mid-January), autographed and personalized to the winner. Yeah, I’m cheap. So what? It’s pretty good, if I say so myself.

I’ll answer them as we go along with daily posts. If you think you might have an unfair advantage, you’re not eligible.

Allez cuisine!

No, wait, that’s what the Iron Chef chairman says.

The Rack: This Is How It Goes

OK, so we’re still shaking it down, but here’s the new hybrid Wednesday format, which includes a strip and picks so you may take a moment extra for ocular pleasance and quietude.

I’m back from The City, so expect some sort of content here soon. My Christmas was good; yours?

The Rack: Not about the holiday, actually.

Oh hey, there’s a new strip up. It was delayed because of a creator conference. Sorry.

She She She She’s A Bombshell

Found this buried in a MetaFilter thread and I have decided that I require much moneys so all of the people involved can do The Rack: Animated based on Birdie’s designs. Tell me it wouldn’t be wondrous and I will call you a liar.

Then there was the Christmas special where Jack Benny killed Mel Blanc.

And now, a word from your favorite Eastern European Head of State…

The Rack: Wherever I May Be

Well, that wraps up that storyline, which means we’ll be back to shenanigans and/or goings-on in the very near future. Monday will see a regular installment of the strip and picks will still be be on Wednesday, despite the fact your shop won’t be getting books until Friday. You understand, don’t you?

I’m busy today, so this is all you’re getting.

I can’t imagine Michael Caine doing this.

One Last Thing About Those End of Year Lists.

OK, so, there’s been some discussion (about the two lists I made for my recommendations for 2007, and it amazes me that I have to explain this, but there are two reasons I didn’t put the comic, graphic novel, or trade paperback you feel is deserving on the list:

1. I read it and did not like it as much as you did. That should be fairly straightforward, shouldn’t it? The inverse applies – many things on my lists were there because I like some things that you may not like. It happens.

2. I didn’t read it, so I didn’t put it on the list. For instance: Alice in Sunderland. While I could probably request it from the library, I’m already inundated with books I’ve bought (and I just got another batch in last night!) Despite my best efforts, there’s no way I could cover everything out there that’s worthy of the time. Please note that I’m determined to catch up on those Terry and the Pirates and Dick Tracy reprints, but I’ve already got a significant amount from both strips in my archives. Are they worthy projects? Definitely, but I’ve not read the new editions, so I didn’t feel it was fair to slide them into the lists arbitrarily under the “Well, everyone else says they’re great” clause.” (I’ve only got so much money, people! The best thing you can do to help me buy more comics you like so they end up on the year-end lists is to use my Amazon shopping link on the right. Sure, Sterling begs you to do it allatime, but I heard he punched a baby once.)

And that’s it for me and the end-of-the-year stuff. Now go away, daddy’s drinking because he just found out that Lily Allen got pregnantized by one of the Chemical Brothers. What the hell is this damn world coming to?