I signed up for GMail out of curiousity. Hey, I’m a beta user. 1337 me. Us Blogger folk can do that, so eat it, you livejournal fucks. (Hopefully, this will start some insane debate between Blogger and Livejournal users that’ll culminate at a shoot-out at next year’s SXSW. )

You can reach me at the usual address or, for shits and giggles, try kevin.church@gmail.com. I suspect I’ll only check it out of curiousity. Or for porn spam. Thank god for porn spam, as it keeps me up to date on what those dirty homeless teens will do for cash. (Quite a lot, in case you wondered.)

Conversation thread last night that I feel really really bad about, but I think is very very funny. Phone sex for hardline Muslim men.

Man: What are you wearing?

Woman: A veil. It’s black and it covers everything but my eyes.

Man: Oh yeah, that’s hot. Now tell me about what I’d find under that veil.

Woman: Bruises inflicted by a man dominating me and forcing me into servitude.

Man: I’m so hard right now.

I didn’t get much further than that. I kept expecting lightning to hit me. I told Josh about how I would manage to piss off 25% of the planet with that bit, and he informed me I could aim for Catholics. The following very gross bit was made gross by Josh. I claim no responsibility for anger on your part. If you want, comment in my blog about how awful he is and I’ll forward you his email and physical addresses.

Priest: What color are your robes?

Altar Boy: Red. They were white before you raped me, father.

Priest: Oh yeah, that’s hot.

In other news, I met the man who stole Brian Wood’s girlfriend yesterday. Aaron thinks that should be a band name (The Man Who Stole Brian Wood’s Girlfriend playing with Julie Schwartz’s Assgrab Technique at the Middle East Upstairs…) which is a much better suggestion than my thinking that there was a blues song in there.