A YEAR OF GIVEAWAYS: Robert Crumb’s Book Of Genesis
45 Comments | Posted: January 18th, 2010 | Filed under: ContestsThe winner of last week’s huge swath of Spider-Man books was Jonathan Miller, who picked Electro as his favorite Spider-Man villain. Electro’s pretty rad — and electric — and so is Jonathan, so I’m glad to send these off to him. (Tomorrow. Once this weather goes away.) Give him your congratulations in the comments while you’re entering for your chance to win Robert Crumb’s take on the Bible’s first (and some say best, really) book: Genesis! Here’s a picture of the cover and a video of someone flipping through it!
How do you win this acclaimed hardcover graphic presentation of some of the craziest shit man’s ever put to paper? Just leave a comment with your favorite character from the Bible who is not Jesus or his pops and a brief explanation of why before 12:01 AM EST on Saturday, January 23. That’s it! The staff here at Kevin Church Towers will use Random.org again to pick the winner.
Terms And Conditions
Please note that because of shipping costs, this contest is for residents of the United States of America and Canada. You must leave your email address with your comment to qualify, as I’m not going to spend any time hunting down someone who didn’t want to be contacted about their amazing prize. One comment per person and yes, I will know if you cheat.
My favorite bible guy is Elisha because of the incident with the children and the name calling and the mauling magic bear.
The nameless “teacher” of Ecclesiastes — it is the most beautiful poetry ever used to express the sentiment “fuck they.”
I vote for the Corinthians. They had remarkable patience getting all these unsolicited letters from someone they didn’t know telling them how to live. Maybe they wrote back; who knows? I usually just shred those things.
(In this case, the “they” in question is everything and everyone.)
My fave biblical character has to be the Holy Spirit, the most super-hero sounding third of the holy trinity. I like him (her?) so much because the Bible states that denying this etherial mofo is the ONE sin that cannot be forgiven, relegating the sinner to eternal damnation, no takebacks! (Mark 3:29)
Ehud, the left-handed assassin from Judges, Chapters 3 and 4.
I ike the lady who looks back at Sodom and Gomorrah and turns into hardened saly. She was pretty rad.
Jael – a woman in the book of Judges who assassinated a dude by shoving a tent stake through his temple.
I’m going to go with Bezalel. Dude built the Ark that melted Belloq and a bunch of Nazis.
Lazarus of Bethany, the first zombie according to that story from Boom! Studios’ Zombie Tales books. I’m also a big fan of American Music Club, and their song “I’ve Been A Mess” is partly about Lazarus.
Dammit… Dave references the same story… but my choice is Eglon, whom Ehud slew.
The man had such girth, that when Ehud stabbed him (while Eglon sat on the toilet) the sword disappeared completely.
Ehud, my hands down favorite. In the old testament, Ehud (left handed) killed a wicked king and his sword was swallowed by the fat of the king. That’s badass!
Because of my name, I’m tempted to say Jesus’ brother James. But really, it’s probably Zacchaeus, the tax collector who hid in a tree.
This is assuming that Dudley Moore is not an option – as I understand it, “Wholly Moses!” isn’t canon.
Ruth! Because she really got to know her mother in law, and they went off and had some freaky sexcapades.
Balthazar es mas mejor del Melchior.
(Balthazar is much better than Melchior)
But then again, whoever invented sodomy has contributed to some good times for everyone involved.
Ezekial, because Pulp Fiction would have sucked without him.
As a Jew, my knowledge is limited to the Old Testament, so I’m going with Elijah. He’s so awesome, he gets millions of cups of wine left for him every Passover. What a guy!
And the envelope goes to Best Apostle in a Doubting Role…and it’s Thomas!
Seriously, I had thought about James the Lesser, but figured that he had to have a complex, if they all actually called him that. So I went with Doubting Thomas. WHAT a fabulous title!
I have to go with Naphtali, Jacob’s second son, because that’s who I played in my high school’s production of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.”
Satan.
Satan rules.
I like Ezekiel because he saw an UFO.
Mine is Balaam’s talking donkey, because it’s a talking donkey.
My favorite is Isaac, because he had the worst childhood of anybody in the Bible.
I’ve got to go with Job’s friends who tried to convince him that God was a dick because they were right.
Barrabas, cause there was that eponymous post-WWII reactionary book about him some centuries later.
Onan, who pulled out during sex to avoid further shenanigans in a dispute over the royal line, only to be killed by God for it.
So far as I can tell, that story is the reason that masturbation is considered a sin by certain folks.
King Melchizdek, because I worked with a girl whose name was rearranged letters of his name, and I liked her a lot. (Her name was LelChizmedeko.)
Thank you once again, Kevin! Getting the e-mail from you was a fantastic surprise.
I’m guessing I’m ineligible, since I just won, but I’ve always liked Noah. A guy willing to go against the grain for his beliefs, no matter how insane they seemed. Well, ok, I like that in the abstract, maybe less so with some concrete examples…
Legion because he (they) gets turned into a pig.
Pigs are tasty even if they are demons.
I’m going go with Solomon. The whole cutting the child in half thing is a pretty damn creative solution.
I’ve always like Ba’al, since he was the only god that seemed to have the clout to knock the Christian deity off the throne…
The apostle Jude/Thaddeus, because he’s the patron saint of lost causes and desperate cases. I also like him because he’s also called Judas at times, so I imagine him going, “I’m Judas, the Apostle. No, not the one who killed him.”
Esau, because he totally got the shaft
Imma say Job.
God sent a mountain of suck Job’s way for no really good reason, and Job had the balls to stand up and demand that God justify his actions. God eventually responds, essentially by declaring his power, but Job (to my mind and to the mind of many other less orthodox readers) comes away as the hero of the book because he had the guts to stand up to God.
Close second is Abraham, not for the obvious reasons, but because he went to bat for the people of Sodom and Gomorrah, pleading with God not to destroy the cities. It didn’t work, but A for effort.
Ehud (from Judges, I believe).
Dude was considered mentally handicapped because he was left handed, but he was still good enough for God to choose to do his dirty work.
He stabbed an invading king to death (who was so fat the knife got sucked into his fat), who then proceeded to release his bowels upon death.
Ehud escaped through the equivalent of the toilet and then led the Israelites for a while.
Not bad, Ehud. Not bad.
I’m going to say the Serpent (from “Genesis”) because, really, he kicked this whole thing off, didn’t he?
Moses, because of his whole thing: the burning bush! The Commandments! Parting the Red Sea! Being played by Charlton Heston doesn’t hurt either.
David, the original underdog.
All my love to Pilate. The guy did everything he could to make as many people happy as possible, and got condemned throughout the ages for his trouble.
Well… That’s democracy for you.
Job. Poor bastard.
Longinus.
Supposedly, the guy whose spear pierced Jesus’ side while he was on the cross. The Spear is tied together with the Grail legend, and was written about in a book by Trevor Ravenscroft in the 70′s. That book on Nazi occultism influenced Steven Spielberg (Raiders of the Lost Ark) and Roy Thomas (Justice Society of America – All-Star Squadron) in the 80′s.
And the guy’s name isn’t even mentioned in the bible!
Eve. Without getting all mega-detaily, the original Hebrew in Genesis 3 points out some fascinating linguistic differences between her and Adam, and the double-origin story, and the Persephone analogue, and and I think she’s interesting is all
Moses. The guy was a like a super hero, leading the people and predicting plagues and parting the waters and all. Aquaman *wishes* he could part the seas…
Lot’s wife, the Orpheus of the Bible.
The final entry was from Rob S, and the winner will be announced Monday at 9AM eastern!