Random.org provided the appropriately randomized integer and it turns out that Bart Jarmusch won Star Trek: The Original Series 365. In a pleasing coincidence, Bart chose “Arena” as his favorite episode of the original series, which is actually the first episode I remember seeing, for slightly unpleasant reasons; I had a fish bone stuck in my throat and I was sipping vinegar to make it bendy so it’d go one way or another and “Arena” was on so I distracted myself from the whole affair by watching Kirk make a fuck-off death cannon out of stone knives and bearskins.
Yes, this is what happens when you’re raised in the south.
ANYWAY, Congratulations to Bart! We’ll see if I can get back on track with these giveaways sometime soon, ok? In the meantime, you can always buy the book on Amazon.
The gang at Abrams figured I was an easy mark for some positive coverage of this book and sent me a copy of Star Trek: The Original Series 365, a nicely-designed look at the original series that covers each episode of the original Star Trek series while including behind-the-scenes information and a well-curated selection of photographs and stills, many of which I’d never seen before. It’s not nearly as gossipy as Inside Star Trek or as nitpicky as the many, many fan-written guides out there and is a better book for its choices. Block and Erdmann’s book is perfect for the casual fan that just wants a nice guide for the series and meaty enough for guys (read: losers) like me.
In order to help spread the good word, Abrams sent me a spare copy to give away. Want to get a chance to win it? From now until 11:59PM ET on Sunday, August 29, just leave a comment with your favorite episode that is not “City On The Edge Of Forever” or “The Trouble With Tribbles.” If you want, tell us why. I’ll use Random.org to pick a winner. Please note that you must use a valid email address when entering or I won’t be able to inform you of your winningness and because of the book’s weight, I won’t be shipping it outside of the United States.
The Star Trek nerd in me desperately wants to write a comic about Sarek and Amanda’s romance and Ming sending me stuff like this isn’t helping one bit.
About three things, I was absolutely positive. First: Sarek was a Vulcan. Second: There was a part of him — and i didn’t know how dominant that part might be — that found my kind utterly illogical and frustrating. And Third:, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him
Page 14:
As I examined them across the Vulcan Science Academy’s cafeteria, one of them looked up and met my gaze, this time with plain-spoken curiosity in an expression I could have sworn was unreadable to anyone else. As I looked swiftly away, it seemed to me that his glance held some kind of unmet expectation.
“Which one is the boy with the straight, slate-colored hair?” I asked. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye, and he was still staring at me, but without the disdain the other Vulcans had plainly written on their face — he had an ever-so-curious expression. I looked down again.
“That’s Sarek. He’s gorgeous, of course, but don’t waste your time. He doesn’t date. Apparently none of Terran girls are logical enough for him.” She sniffed, a clear case of sour grapes. I wondered when he’d turned her down.
I bit my lip to hide my smile. Then I glanced at him again. His face was turned back to the PADD he was holding and he was speaking to the Vulcan to his left, but I thought his eyebrow appeared lifted, as if he were smiling inside.
After a few more minutes, the four of them left the table together. They all were noticeably graceful — even the big, brawny one. It was unsettling to watch. The one named Sarek didn’t look at me again.
Page 120:
“It’s nightfall,” Sarek murmured, looking at the western horizon, obscured as it was by Mount Seleya. His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind were somewhere far away. I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out of the hovercar’s windscreen.
I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine. His pupils had already dilated a bit in response to the rapidly-encroaching night.
“It’s the quietest time of day for Vulcans,” he said, answering the unspoken question in my eyes. “The easiest time to meditate and center ourselves. But also the most sobering in many ways… the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable on Earth, isn’t it? Your nights do not have dangers like the le-matya or dust storms along the Forge as the terminator crawls across the globe and the cool air collides with the warm ground.”
“I like the night. Without the dark, we’d never see the stars.” I frowned. “Not that you see them here much.”
His eyebrow went up slightly, and the mood abruptly lightened.
Page 257:
“Thank you. But there’s something else I feel should be mentioned.” Sarek didn’t frown, exactly. His mouth became a thinner line.
I waited patiently.
“He called you pretty,” he finally continued, his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly. “That’s an understatement. You’re … very aesthetically pleasing at this moment.”
I laughed.
“You might be a little biased.”
“I do not believe that to be the case. Besides, I have excellent eyesight, like all of my people.”
We were twirling again, my feet on his as he held me close. “So are you going to explain the reason for all of this?” I wondered. He looked down at me, unreadable, and I glared meaningfully at the crepe paper.
He considered for a moment, and then changed direction, spinning me through the crowd to the back door of the gym. I caught a glimpse of T’pril and Stolok dancing, their heads cocked ever so slightly. Jessica waved, and I smiled back quickly. The slight Andorian Liari was there, too, looking blissfully happy in the arms of George Kirk; she didn’t look away from his eyes, a head above hers. T’lin and Soltar, T’pau, glaring toward us, with Tuval; I could name every face that spiraled past me. And then we were outdoors, in the still warm, yet dim light of a fading sunset on a world light-years from my native Earth.
“Nightfall.” I heard Sarek say quietly to himself.
If you enjoy Star Trek but, like me, tend to be vague on the finer points of continuity and anything that doesn’t feature James T Kirk, Memory Alpha is the site you’re looking for. It’s a nerd-wiki with pretty high standards, offering up insights into episodes, “factual” bits about the Star Trek universe and, of course, ridiculous shit that comes about when you’ve got an obsessive-compulsive audience and 40 years of television and cinematic minutiae to cover in extreme detail. I thought I’d do us all a favor and mimic The Internet’s Own Chris Sims and dive into their fetid swamps (OK, I’m cicking the “random entry” link) and see what we can pull out for examination.
Yes, that’s Jason Alexander, playing a vagina-skulled alien who worked for a pan-galactic problem-solving consultancy known as The Think Tank. They zipped around to and fro, taking care of treaties and ensuring peace was to be had in as many places as possible, as long as they got paid, sort of like Blackwater without the whole shooting-civilians-in-the-face schtick. The plot of “Think Tank” revolves around Kurros wanting compensation from the crew of Voyager after helping them handle a sticky situation, demanding payment in the form the ship’s quantum starslip drive, one of Neelix’s recipes, Chakotay’s Ace McCloud toy, and…Seven of Nine.
Of course Space George Constanza asked for the zeppelin-breasted robot chick.
Voyager happily acquiesced, causing the show’s abrupt downward spiral and cancellation three weeks later. (Please note that this did not really happen. Voyager limped along for two more seasons, culminating in a finale that I don’t remember anything from outside of the re-appearance of Alice Krige’s creepy head-and-cleavage-with-no-body Borg Queen.)
First Appearance: “And The Children Shall Lead,” the good Star Trek
Ray was part of a group of children that survived the mass suicide that swept the Federation’s colony on Triacus, following the teachings and demands of a malicious space ghost (no, not that one) they named Angel. This perfectly idiotic plot point occurs because kids are stupid and have never seen an episode of Star Trek. Guess what? They get rid of the creature (which, naturally, feeds off their devotion) thanks to some emoting on the part of William Shatner. Heir to a beer fortune, Ray was a favorite guest on the Starship Enterprise, particularly in the Engineering, Medical, and Getting Crazy Fucked Up departments.
1.
This movie chugs right along. There’s a bit of a sag in the second act, but it was nice to have a breather, honestly. For something that’s spawned from a franchise that became positively overladen with technobabble and speechifying, this movie does not waste the viewers time or insult their intelligence one bit. I’ve never been terribly impressed with Abrams’ direction before, but this felt downright inspired in places.
2.
The whole matter of this being a reboot is handled very elegantly. If you’re an original Trek nerd and the three lines of dialogue explaining how the new status quo works doesn’t please you, then you’re stupid and you’re wrong and I hate you. C’mon, you accepted “Mirror Mirror” and goateed Spock for over 40 years and this is going to cheese you off? I know way, way more about Classic Trek‘s supposed history than any person should and I was positively delighted with how respectful this movie was of What Happened Before while making it possible for someone with only the barest knowledge of things to not feel that they’re missing out on anything.
3.
Everyone on the Enterprise is there for a reason: they’re smart, they’re competent, and they contribute. That made me terribly happy, actually, as TOS focused so much attention on Kirk, Spock and McCoy that the rest felt like bit players instead of supporting cast most of the time. I was particularly pleased to see that Sulu and Chekov became more than chauffeurs and the guys who press buttons to make lasers happened – their solutions to multiple problems made me smile. Yes, I am a nerd.
4.
There’s some very surprising changes to the mythos. None of them upset me one iota, and I could argue for the one that seems to have cheesed fans off the most using reference material from the original series. I’m very curious about how certain character arcs may be handled in a potential sequel.
5.
From the clean redesigns of well-known icons to the cinematography, obvious care was taken to make sure every shot and every setpiece seem iconic, but never in an obvious way. The first shot of the new Enterprise did put a lump in my throat, I’ll admit. I have a strange affection for her, but not in the James T Kirk manner.
6.
When I walked out of the theater, I texted my friend Josh with “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier after seeing a movie.” Every actor inhabited their role well, every moment seemed to fit perfectly, and there were some big fuck-off explosions. I’ll be seeing it again in the theater, very soon.
Please note that the comments to the post currently contain things that are close to being spoilers without actually crossing any real plot point lines that you wouldn’t know from the ads.
