Three excerpts from NIGHTFALL: a STAR TREK novel by Kevin Church

8 Comments | Posted: February 23rd, 2010 | Filed under: "Funny", Star Trek

About three things, I was absolutely positive. First: Sarek was a Vulcan. Second: There was a part of him — and i didn’t know how dominant that part might be — that found my kind utterly illogical and frustrating. And Third:, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him

Page 14:

As I examined them across the Vulcan Science Academy’s cafeteria, one of them looked up and met my gaze, this time with plain-spoken curiosity in an expression I could have sworn was unreadable to anyone else. As I looked swiftly away, it seemed to me that his glance held some kind of unmet expectation.

“Which one is the boy with the straight, slate-colored hair?” I asked. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye, and he was still staring at me, but without the disdain the other Vulcans had plainly written on their face — he had an ever-so-curious expression. I looked down again.

“That’s Sarek. He’s gorgeous, of course, but don’t waste your time. He doesn’t date. Apparently none of Terran girls are logical enough for him.” She sniffed, a clear case of sour grapes. I wondered when he’d turned her down.

I bit my lip to hide my smile. Then I glanced at him again. His face was turned back to the PADD he was holding and he was speaking to the Vulcan to his left, but I thought his eyebrow appeared lifted, as if he were smiling inside.

After a few more minutes, the four of them left the table together. They all were noticeably graceful — even the big, brawny one. It was unsettling to watch. The one named Sarek didn’t look at me again.

Page 120:

“It’s nightfall,” Sarek murmured, looking at the western horizon, obscured as it was by Mount Seleya. His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind were somewhere far away. I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out of the hovercar’s windscreen.

I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine. His pupils had already dilated a bit in response to the rapidly-encroaching night.

“It’s the quietest time of day for Vulcans,” he said, answering the unspoken question in my eyes. “The easiest time to meditate and center ourselves. But also the most sobering in many ways… the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable on Earth, isn’t it? Your nights do not have dangers like the le-matya or dust storms along the Forge as the terminator crawls across the globe and the cool air collides with the warm ground.”

“I like the night. Without the dark, we’d never see the stars.” I frowned. “Not that you see them here much.”

His eyebrow went up slightly, and the mood abruptly lightened.

Page 257:


“Thank you. But there’s something else I feel should be mentioned.” Sarek didn’t frown, exactly. His mouth became a thinner line.

I waited patiently.

“He called you pretty,” he finally continued, his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly. “That’s an understatement. You’re … very aesthetically pleasing at this moment.”

I laughed.

“You might be a little biased.”

“I do not believe that to be the case. Besides, I have excellent eyesight, like all of my people.”

We were twirling again, my feet on his as he held me close. “So are you going to explain the reason for all of this?” I wondered. He looked down at me, unreadable, and I glared meaningfully at the crepe paper.

He considered for a moment, and then changed direction, spinning me through the crowd to the back door of the gym. I caught a glimpse of T’pril and Stolok dancing, their heads cocked ever so slightly. Jessica waved, and I smiled back quickly. The slight Andorian Liari was there, too, looking blissfully happy in the arms of George Kirk; she didn’t look away from his eyes, a head above hers. T’lin and Soltar, T’pau, glaring toward us, with Tuval; I could name every face that spiraled past me. And then we were outdoors, in the still warm, yet dim light of a fading sunset on a world light-years from my native Earth.

“Nightfall.” I heard Sarek say quietly to himself.


There’s Gonna Be Sex Tonight

4 Comments | Posted: December 29th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek, There's Gonna Be Sex Tonight


Thanks, RJ White!


From Starfleet’s QuickFix Manual (Third Edition)

4 Comments | Posted: December 28th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek, Wacky Out Of Context Panels


Happy Slightly-Belated 30th Birthday, ST: TMP!

1 Comment | Posted: December 9th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek, Video


There’s Gonna Be Sex Tonight

3 Comments | Posted: October 6th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek, There's Gonna Be Sex Tonight | Tags: ,


Improving The Classics, Again.

4 Comments | Posted: October 5th, 2009 | Filed under: "Funny", Improving The Classics, Star Trek


Improving The Classics

3 Comments | Posted: October 2nd, 2009 | Filed under: "Funny", Improving The Classics, Star Trek | Tags:


Kevin Versus Star Trek: Part 1

6 Comments | Posted: August 21st, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek

If you enjoy Star Trek but, like me, tend to be vague on the finer points of continuity and anything that doesn’t feature James T Kirk, Memory Alpha is the site you’re looking for. It’s a nerd-wiki with pretty high standards, offering up insights into episodes, “factual” bits about the Star Trek universe and, of course, ridiculous shit that comes about when you’ve got an obsessive-compulsive audience and 40 years of television and cinematic minutiae to cover in extreme detail. I thought I’d do us all a favor and mimic The Internet’s Own Chris Sims and dive into their fetid swamps (OK, I’m cicking the “random entry” link) and see what we can pull out for examination.

First up: two minor characters and an episode!

That's not funny, Jerry.KURROS

First Appearance: “Think Tank,” Voyager

Yes, that’s Jason Alexander, playing a vagina-skulled alien who worked for a pan-galactic problem-solving consultancy known as The Think Tank.  They zipped around to and fro, taking care of treaties and ensuring peace was to be had in as many places as possible, as long as they got paid, sort of like Blackwater without the whole shooting-civilians-in-the-face schtick.  The plot of “Think Tank” revolves around Kurros wanting compensation from the crew of Voyager after helping them handle a sticky situation, demanding payment in the form the ship’s quantum starslip drive, one of Neelix’s recipes, Chakotay’s Ace McCloud toy, and…Seven of Nine.

Of course Space George Constanza asked for the zeppelin-breasted robot chick.

Voyager happily acquiesced, causing the show’s abrupt downward spiral and cancellation three weeks later.  (Please note that this did not really happen.  Voyager limped along for two more seasons, culminating in a finale that I don’t remember anything from outside of the re-appearance of Alice Krige’s creepy head-and-cleavage-with-no-body Borg Queen.)

Plaid is in, I'm telling you.RAY TSING TAO

First Appearance: “And The Children Shall Lead,” the good Star Trek

Ray was part of a group of children that survived the mass suicide that swept the Federation’s colony on Triacus, following the teachings and demands of a malicious space ghost (no, not that one) they named Angel.  This perfectly idiotic plot point occurs because kids are stupid and have never seen an episode of Star Trek. Guess what?  They get rid of the creature (which, naturally, feeds off their devotion) thanks to some emoting on the part of William Shatner.  Heir to a beer fortune, Ray was a favorite guest on the Starship Enterprise, particularly in the Engineering, Medical, and Getting Crazy Fucked Up departments.


“A PIECE OF THE ACTION”

Original Air Date: January 12, 1968

Everything you need to know about this episode is contained in this image:



This is why we needed J.J. Abrams, you guys.

No Comments | Posted: July 1st, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek

Please, please, please be a pseudonym.


I love absolutely everything about this splash page from Gold Key’s STAR TREK #58.

4 Comments | Posted: May 26th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek

That's the O face that Miramanee saw.  Think about it, won't you?


Hey, you new Spock/Spock slashers out there? DC beat you to it 25 years ago.

1 Comment | Posted: May 14th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek

From DC'S STAR TREK #12.


Very Brief, Spoiler-Free Notes About The New STAR TREK Movie.

24 Comments | Posted: May 8th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek

1.
This movie chugs right along. There’s a bit of a sag in the second act, but it was nice to have a breather, honestly. For something that’s spawned from a franchise that became positively overladen with technobabble and speechifying, this movie does not waste the viewers time or insult their intelligence one bit. I’ve never been terribly impressed with Abrams’ direction before, but this felt downright inspired in places.

2.
The whole matter of this being a reboot is handled very elegantly. If you’re an original Trek nerd and the three lines of dialogue explaining how the new status quo works doesn’t please you, then you’re stupid and you’re wrong and I hate you. C’mon, you accepted “Mirror Mirror” and goateed Spock for over 40 years and this is going to cheese you off? I know way, way more about Classic Trek’s supposed history than any person should and I was positively delighted with how respectful this movie was of What Happened Before while making it possible for someone with only the barest knowledge of things to not feel that they’re missing out on anything.

3.
Everyone on the Enterprise is there for a reason: they’re smart, they’re competent, and they contribute. That made me terribly happy, actually, as TOS focused so much attention on Kirk, Spock and McCoy that the rest felt like bit players instead of supporting cast most of the time. I was particularly pleased to see that Sulu and Chekov became more than chauffeurs and the guys who press buttons to make lasers happened – their solutions to multiple problems made me smile. Yes, I am a nerd.

4.
There’s some very surprising changes to the mythos. None of them upset me one iota, and I could argue for the one that seems to have cheesed fans off the most using reference material from the original series. I’m very curious about how certain character arcs may be handled in a potential sequel.

5.
From the clean redesigns of well-known icons to the cinematography, obvious care was taken to make sure every shot and every setpiece seem iconic, but never in an obvious way. The first shot of the new Enterprise did put a lump in my throat, I’ll admit. I have a strange affection for her, but not in the James T Kirk manner.

6.
When I walked out of the theater, I texted my friend Josh with “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier after seeing a movie.” Every actor inhabited their role well, every moment seemed to fit perfectly, and there were some big fuck-off explosions. I’ll be seeing it again in the theater, very soon.

Please note that the comments to the post currently contain things that are close to being spoilers without actually crossing any real plot point lines that you wouldn’t know from the ads.


Kate Beaton draws the best things, you guys.

No Comments | Posted: May 6th, 2009 | Filed under: Art Appreciation, Star Trek | Tags:



You need to see this full sized. Trust me.


Trek Yourself.

2 Comments | Posted: May 6th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek, Video


It’s only a week away, you guys!

4 Comments | Posted: May 1st, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek

BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP! (Note that is three beeps meaning YES YES YES!)


CLICK THIS LINK RIGHT NOW: Paul Pope’s Star Trek Comic

3 Comments | Posted: April 23rd, 2009 | Filed under: Outbound Linkage, Star Trek, Wild Enthusiasm | Tags: ,

oh man you guys this is so cool

The interface is a bit wacky, but it’s one of my favorite comics artists drawing my favorite science fiction property.


And then there was the time that Mirror Universe Spock totally forgot the ancient Vulcan saying “Before sand, there is nothing. Before whores, there is brotherhood.”

3 Comments | Posted: April 20th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek

"I got this Marlena chick, she was ridin Kirk's jock; she get a little taste of Vulcan now all she wants is Spock."


I love this UK poster for the upcoming Star Trek film so much, guys.

4 Comments | Posted: March 27th, 2009 | Filed under: Design Fetish, Star Trek, Wild Enthusiasm

COMING NOT SOON ENOUGH.


Trekmovie.com has a nice selection of European posters if you want to look at that sort of thing. This one really stands out to me as it feels very futuristic while not being over-rendered and photoshoppy, plus it uses lots of white space. I’m a sucker for lots of white space.


And then there was the time there was a hobo on the Enterprise and Captain Kirk fought Godzilla.

12 Comments | Posted: March 9th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek, Wacky Out Of Context Panels | Tags:

Those colors are so off-model, Turkish filmmakers.  For SHAME.



Pal Dave found this for me on Bikini Machines. Pal Dave now gets ten Nobel Prizes.


Spock: Interstellar Cockblock Champion 2261-2281

8 Comments | Posted: March 4th, 2009 | Filed under: Star Trek

Zapball.  Star Trek has the worst sports.