When hearing Duffy this morning on the radio reminded me to download Dusty in Memphis to replace my long-lost vinyl version, I realized something: I am old.

Marvel’s announced a new Iron Man cartoon series that doesn’t tie into the hit movie or the previous Iron Man direct-to-DVD film or the late-90s cartoon (which is probably for the better.) Rather curious that they’re following DC’s multiple-versions model so early for what is a, let’s face it, newly-hatched piece of intellectual property in the eyes of the majority of the audience.Speaking of animated, these Invincible “digital cinematic comics” from MTV look more like ads than actual content. The merging of animation and the static comics image perplexes me. Why have word balloons when people are speaking dialogue aloud? Why are there sound effects on the “page” when we can clearly hear a “kaboom?” Is this a read-along book? Do you think I’m illiterate? Am I just curmudgeonly for not seeing the point? Where’s my damn Geritol? When’s Newhart gonna be on?

(Actually, you know those video trailers for comic books? I’m tired of those too.)

So, I read Superman: Last Son and that was OK.

A $25 hardcover collecting the recent Power Pack comics?

I really need the number of Marvel’s dealer. He’s selling them some fantastic stuff.

Copies Ordered Of Secret Invasion #2: 182,390
Copies Ordered Of Final Crisis #1: 144,784
Gross Dollar Difference At The Retail Level: $37,606
Estimated Net Difference To The Publishers¹ : $15,042
Marvel Q1 2008 Revenue: $45,376,000
TimeWarner Q1 2008 Revenue: $771,000,000

¹Estimated income after 50% retailer discount and $.10 per copy distribution. Please correct me if the distribution fee is wrong.
Please note that DC’s revenue is not available as a separate unit from the parent corporation.

You know, if I was paying for Google Ads featuring my company’s SEO services, I would probably make sure URL used actually linked to a page on my site.

I honestly wonder if these people bitching about the pacing in Final Crisis have ever read a non-tie-in novel or seen a film that didn’t feature talking robots.

What the hell sort of demon magic vagina did Blanche on The Golden Girls have to get that much action in the pre-Viagra era?

If you’d told me in 1998 that a decade later, I’d still be hearing Alice DeeJay’s “Better Off Alone” on the radio, I would have laughed in a manner akin to a hyena on nitrous.

With Star Trek, particularly The Next Generation, featuring what amounts to a socialist society (no money, the Federation is essentially the UN done right, equal rights and diversity) as its core, I wonder why the fanbase features so many conservatives.