Captain Marvel: Book Editor

If I showed up with my Doonesbury Solar Calculator, these people would worship me as a god.

Angel Love explains it all.

Thanks, Angel Love!

Hulk: Philosopher

“Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.” – Albert Einstein

“What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.” – Sigmund Freud

“There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.” – Don Herold

“I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.” – Socrates

If Comic Book Romance Were Real

This only works in dreams.

DOOM WILL BROOK NO INTERFERENCE FROM GENEVA OR ITS CONVENTIONS

Click to view Latverian-sized.

We doin’ big pimpin up in N.Y.C.

And then there was the time that Captain America straight up snapped a tiger’s neck.

And then there was the time that the Fantastic Four’s robotic secretary Judo-flipped Paste Pot Pete after he broke into the Baxter Building.

Nazi Fail.

I wish this had ended like the old Charles Atlas ads.

Click to read the fine print.

God, I love a good splash panel.

Enjoy your nightmares.

Yes, J’onn Jonzz seems very excited.

I think I worked for this guy for about ten minutes back in 1998.

From Detective Comics #109

Lou Little endorses Wheaties, tells Total to go suck an egg.

Click to embiggen, if not embolden.

Patsy Walker is a shameless huckster.

What I really like about this old ad for the Officially-Sponsored Cult Of Marvel is that Thor is straight-up babbling in faux-Shakespeare while Patsy Walker goes straight for the Billy Mays/Shamwow Vince method of just yelling at you until you succumb to the offer. It’s interesting how Hellcat is more in tune with that Bill Mantlo/Roy Thomas “every character speaks in a vaguely vaudeville fashion and makes ludicrous puns and statements related to their powers and/or look” vibe than I remember from any of her early comics appearances.

THIS IS NOT TRUE AT ALL, JERVIS TETCH.

I have looked on Wikipedia, scoured Google and even pawed through these strange objects called “library books” to find out if this is in any way, shape, form or fashion an authentic fact used to edify young minds who might be reading Batman Annual #3. It is not. Unless this story took place on Earth-2, then it’s totally OK because I got no idea what the hell Aborigines did with their headgear there.

It’s sort of egotistical to wear your own medallion, isn’t it?

And then there’s this, for which I apologize:

(At least it’s not as blasphemous towards PE as this.)