On Copywriting The Marvel Way

From the back of the Ultimate Human trade:

As the political intrigue and long-buried secrets are slowly revealed in writer Warren Ellis’ own inimitable way, expect to be shocked, surprised and overcome with the kind of seat-of-your-pants, comic-reading glee that is a hallmark of the Ultimate reading experience. Marking artist Cary Nord’s triumphant return to Marvel, Ultimate Human is the next key chapter in the ongoing Ultimate saga!

I can see what they’re trying to do with this copy, I really can – they want to recapture that famous Stan Lee carny-style hucksterism, but the secret to the Lieber spiel was that it was so over the top, so ludicrous that there was no way that someone with more than three synapses firing could take him seriously.

This utterly fails to capture that wink, that nudge, and instead comes off as some sort of insult to the readers, sounding like the result of a late-night used-car salesman and Miss Nancy from Romper Room having their DNA spliced to create a new breed of copywriting droid: “You like fun, don’t you? This is fun! And it’s by that guy! He’s written some things that you didn’t read because they didn’t have Iron Man in them, but trust us, he’s different than the other guys we have writing stuff with Iron Man in it! Also, it’s Ultimate! Ultimate means the best!”

And you know, this sort of hyperbolic, cliché is just fine in solicitations, because shops are doing to order a Warren Ellis Ultimate Comic Featuring Two Guys In Summer Movies at a certain level no matter what, and there’s a set audience for such a thing, but who thinks this copy would work on a regular buyer in a bookstore, or even someone who may normally not pay $20 for a hardcover collection (of four issues,) but may or may not go for it anyway, thanks to their economic stimulus check? I bought Ultimate Human because I like Warren Ellis comic books more than I like most other comic books, but I’m not the Marvel Target Audience in general. In fact, I’m kind of wondering who their target audience is, if this is what they think will work on them.

(As for the book itself: anticlimactic with some very nice character bits – Ellis is perfect for Ultimate Tony Stark, just like he is for Ultimate Reed and Sue – and a few deftly-handled bits that discuss the politics of espionage in a world where superheroes are the new WMDs. It’s like there’s 2/3rds of a really great comic there, but it never jells. It would have benefited greatly with an additional two issues and more explosions. Cary Nord’s art, while inconsistent, was generally very pleasing.)