Special Fanfic Unit.

Gawker was so kind as to link to this completely awesome Advocate story about two cops busting a hate-crimer in NYC:

Two undercover New York City police officers arrested a man on hate-crime charges Monday who, they say, assumed the cops were gay and proceeded to threaten and harass them. [...] Though the officers purposefully exaggerated their relationship by snuggling, they were in the park primarily to curb local violence from gangs and students from nearby Washington Irving High School as well as the Union Square subway station.

This, of course made pal Alice and I think of Law and Order slash fiction possibilities and we whipped up a top ten list. She says this is actually fairly close to the stuff presented on the internet, but I wouldn’t know. Honest. I only watch the show when Kristin’s got it on, and then it’s very halfheartedly.

Honest.

1. “Shh, Mike”, said Gorman. “We’ve got to make this convincing. Lean closer.”

2. Stabler growled and pushed Benson away, hissing “Tutuola’s my partner on this one.”
3. “Olivia, sometimes I think you find the goriest cases just so you can hang in the morgue with me.”
4. “I can’t take it anymore, dammit!” Jack McCoy slammed his fist down on the desk. He looked at the phone, wondering if he should call Green for one last time in “The Box” before confessing everything to his wife.
5. “Lennie, oh Lennie!” whispered Jack savagely. “Why did you leave me so soon? Before we could let the world know about us?”
6. Finn was surprised when his tall, lean partner burst through his door half an hour early. Surprised that Munch was early for a change, and humiliated to be caught in the black slip he enjoyed sleeping in. Munch raised one eyebrow. “My third wife had something like that. Always got me….”
7. “Dr. Skoda, I can’t hear your confession, nor can I get you a conjugal visit” said Dr. Huang, shaking his head. Ever since the head injury, Emil had been prone to thinking he was someone else.
8. Lennie’s hand rested on Ed’s thigh for just a moment longer than was considered proper, even for detectives that had been partners for years. “Did he just…shift?” Briscoe wondered to himself. He looked at Green’s mocha-colored skin and sighed wistfully, remembering his nights working the beat at the meatpacking distract.
9. Olivia licked the small bits of chocolate off her fingers and arched an eyebrow at Abbie suggestively. Carmichael found herself wondering if the heat in the room had suddenly turned on, even though they were in an air-conditioned office building in the middle of July. Benson noticed that the door locked and smiled to herself quietly.
10. Featuring Bonus Crossing Jordan crossover action!
    Alex Cabot smirked as Jordan Cavanaugh pushed the corpse onto the floor and sat on the table, her legs spread slightly. “That’s going to make forensics hard tomorrow.”

    “Let me worry about that,” Jordan sighed as she unbuttoned her blouse. “Speaking of hard…”

We are bad, bad people.