Comments on: The Nineties-est Cover I Could Find

By: The Retroist

The Retroist — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:16:17 +0000

Where are the 8 different collector covers?

By: Leonardo Boiko

Leonardo Boiko — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 13:16:35 +0000

Missing an objectified female with grotesque boobs, but itâ€™s a strong contender.

By: notintheface

notintheface — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 18:54:13 +0000

But where is the ass-length ponytail?

By: Rob Rogers

Rob Rogers — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:33:36 +0000

Wow. You win. You totally win. It’s hard to believe you didn’t just PhotoShop this together. It’s so perfect.

Is that… is that an EKG reading in the logo? Interrupted by a pair of fangs? It REEKS of 90s-ness.

The missing feet put it completely over the top for me.

By: Paul Horn

Paul Horn — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:25:03 +0000

Aw, shucks. You didn’t mention the Spawn-esque chains hanging from the ceiling and the “Hey! Look! I’m using Photoshop 2.5’s airbrush tool!” coloring job that ravaged most covers back in the day.

The only things missing from this cover are “lazy crosshatching” (usually found on the legs, with strokes becoming wider and wider apart), shoulderpads the size of loveseat cushions and a hard-as-nails female lead who has so many anatomical impossibilities that she would merit her own contest.

By: Sallyp

Sallyp — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:31:07 +0000

It boggles the mind. Was there a checklist or something that was sent out by the publishers? You HAVE to have gritted teeth, no feet, lots of blood, improbable anatomy, all those little lines on the face that aren’t shading, and so on and so forth?

*shudder*

By: Leopold

Leopold — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:16:07 +0000

I feel sorry for that guy. His knees could snap under him any moment.

By: Tom Peyer

Tom Peyer — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 04:54:33 +0000

Kevin, that is really effing funny. Nice work.

By: mightygodking

mightygodking — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 04:33:59 +0000

…someone with blood still in them? I mean, skeletons are rather known for not having blood. It would be like, if he called himself Paper Hunter and then was seen in a raging fire.

By: Bah

Bah — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 03:21:12 +0000

To Tim Bower:

Of COURSE he’s surrounded by skeletons; the man is hunting BLOOD. Where would you advise he look?