They’re Tough! They’re Tight!
8 Comments | Posted: December 19th, 2008 | Filed under: Think About It Won't You | Tags: jim driscoll, lee leens, slow zoom on jim's ass
I’ve got questions here.
- If the car is remote controlled, why doesn’t one of the pit guys just sit behind the wheel? Why pluck a spotted youth who happens to be gawking at the contraption?
- Who identifies someone by the pants they’re wearing? I mean, outside of people in Lee advertisements.
- Frankly, I’m appalled at the engineering team behind this vehicle. If the control system in the car couldn’t last ten laps without having trouble, why risk the life of someone…oh, I see what they’re doing; saving their own skins from their shoddy workmanship!
- Is this the least enthusiastic race announcer ever? Signs point to yes. “The winner! Some kid. Yawn.”
- I’m not homophobic, but isn’t the slow zoom in on Jim’s ass in the final panels with that pedo-tastically charged dialogue a bit much in an ad for “grown-up pants?”
Who identifies someone by the pants they’re wearing?
Brand of pants? Less likely.
Type of pants? Quite likely – referring to someone as “that guy in (the) flares/skinny jeans/stonewasheds” doesn’t sound too weird to me.
Two things:
1. Clearly, he won, because he is the only person in the race.
2. The title is very misleading. It is not a race to danger. I see no danger at all. A race to homoeroticism, maybe.
Who identifies someone by the pants they’re wearing?
While the answer can be A) people who work in the fashion industry or B) snobby people who judge folks by clothes, in this case, the answer is clearly C) pedophiles. Hence, “The Race to Danger”.
Is this the least enthusiastic race announcer ever? Signs point to yes. “The winner! Some kid. Yawn.â€
No, the announcer is merely confused, as this race was to be won by teams of engineers using remote controls.
“The Winner!
Jim Driscoll.
What? One guy just- wait, what? That isn’t a team of- but nobody was actually supposed to be driving the- oh, to hell with this. I quit.”
Who identifies someone by their pants? I see someone here never had ‘the Jordache look’. (And that’s not even mentioning P.G. Wodehouse’s Black Shorts or *cough cough* those ravers in the baggies.)
I particularly liked the marketing portmanteau of Leens. Those marketing guys are so smart!
For a second there I misread the second “e” in “Lees” as an “s.”
“Boys! Are you old enough to wear less?”
Methinks those Lee Leens were produced by the same people who gave us Schmitts Gay Beer.
Here’s my theory about what would have happened if the race officials hadn’t required the car to have a driver:
“We’re losing control of the vehicle!”
“Quick! Throw these Hostess Fruit Pies onto the track! Even failing remote-controlled cars can’t resist that light, flaky crust and real fruit filling!”
(later, at the trial)
Judge: “Thirty-five people were killed running onto the race track after those Hostess Fruit Pies! How do you plead?”
Guy in cap: “We plead deliciousness.”
(courtroom laughs)
(fin)
Didn’t Freud once write that sometimes a pair of pants is just a pair of pants?