The Rack: A Very Important Message
This one’s not funny1, but you should definitely read it and pass it on.
1“How is that any different than the usual?” There, I beat you to it, dickhead.
The new Life archives on Google Image Search?
Fantastic.
Review: The X-Files #1
The X-Files #1
Wildstorm • $3.50
A little under a decade ago, I was an avid fan of The X-Files. Despite stiff acting, a too-complex subplot that lost its way too early on, and questionable quality control, I enjoyed its neopulp and monster stories enough to keep watching on through the first movie and subsequent season, in which they began filming in California and the show became much glossier. After that, I lost interest, discovering other ways to spend Sunday night, and left the show and its diminishing returns behind.
The first issue of Wildstorm’s comic miniseries based on the property, penned by series writer, story editor, and executive producer Frank Spotnitz with art by Brian Denham, isn’t going to bring me back into the fold. The script lacks any of the humor or humanity of the show, even making the Lone Gunmen into hollow recitation machines and instead feelis like a series of plot beats and little more. Even there it falls down: Mulder’s paranoia in the final third of this first chapter seems to come from nowhere, and his relationship with Scully seems colder than it ever did on-screen. Artist Brian Denham photo-references heavily and comes across as a less-talented Tony Harris. Some of the sketchiness that Charlie Adlard brought to the Topps X-Files comics would have brought some welcome humanity to the whole affair.
Oh, and for those counting, this is the sixth non-comics-property tie-in that I’ve been sent to review from Wildstorm in a row. What happened to the imprint that gave us The Authority, Sleeper, and America’s Best Comics?
The Rack: Staff Picks for the Week of November 19
In these uncertain times, it’s probably a good idea to know how best to spend our comic shop dolars. We’re here to help!
So, this one time, I had a webcomic that I aborted.
OK, so a few weeks ago I had one of those brainstorms that occasionally happens when I’ve been seriously caffeinating and thankfully, I was in touch with my frequent partner on things writerly Josh, who agreed to draw it. We were going to do a series of (let’s call them) tributes to the great adventure strips of the 30s and 40s except, instead of featuring Dirk Chinley or Roger Handsome, we’d use a man who’s always innovated, fought for what he believed was right, made women tremble just so, and most importantly, dressed amazingly.
I was going to write a webcomic about Prince as a CIA agent in the 80s. Morris Day was going to be his Felix Leiter. Prince would only speak in lyrics to his own songs. It was going to be a black-and-white comic that was spot-colored purple. It was going to be a loving genre pastiche that served as an appreciative, humorous panegyric to a musician I held no small amount of respect and awe for.
Then, he said this:
Recently, Prince hosted an executive who works for Philip Anschutz, the Christian businessman whose company owns the Staples Center. “We started talking red and blue,” Prince said. “People with money—money like that—are not affected by the stock market, and they’re not freaking out over anything. They’re just watching. So here’s how it is: you’ve got the Republicans, and basically they want to live according to this.” He pointed to a Bible. “But there’s the problem of interpretation, and you’ve got some churches, some people, basically doing things and saying it comes from here, but it doesn’t. And then on the opposite end of the spectrum you’ve got blue, you’ve got the Democrats, and they’re, like, ‘You can do whatever you want.’ Gay marriage, whatever. But neither of them is right.”
When asked about his perspective on social issues—gay marriage, abortion—Prince tapped his Bible and said, “God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out. He was, like, ‘Enough.’ ”
And, well, that was that, then. We shut it down. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to give any more money to him as well. If he can be judgmental about things like basic human rights, then I can be judgmental about how I spend my money and energy.
He probably would have sued our asses off anyway, huh?
(Yes, I’ve heard that someone in his camp told Perez Hilton that he was misquoted, but forgive me for believing The New Yorker over that twat, at least for now.)
J Jonah Jameson by Chris Schweizer
I bet TSA had a field day with the utility belt.
Blame Sims. I usually do.
The Rack: And I’ll Look Down And Whisper, “No.”
We needed to get this week’s two main nerd taking points taken care of, so here they are.
An Update on Carla and Lance.
There’s a Facebook group established, where got this update from Jason, Carla’s brother:
Hi Everyone,We last saw Carla and Lance today at around 2:00. The staff were
working with Carla, taking blood and other samples for testing. Other
staff were completing Lance’s hydrotherapy (cleaning the burns). It
takes a lot of work and time to perform this for Lance due to his size
and also his tendency to resist the treatment somewhat. Cleaning all
of the burns is very painful and typically requires additional
sedation/pain medication. This is performed once daily and involes
completely redressing their burns.Carla has burns on her arms, back, hands, and thighs, about 33% of her
body. Lance has burns on his hands, arms, face, and feet, about 22% of
his body. Fortunately, the burns on his face do not seem to be more
than 2nd degree and we are told his appearence will return to normal.
He’s pretty swollen right now. Their conditions are about the same
based on where the burns are and their degree.Both Carla and Lance continue to be medicated and sedated (2 mg
Morphine/ hour and I don’t know how much Atavan) and are both on
respirators. Carla is being respirated at 15 breaths per minute. She
has increased the number of breaths per minute to as high as 22, by
breathing on her own. Lance is being respirated at 18 breaths per
minute and has gone as high as 24, also breathing more on his own.Their heart rate and blood pressure are being kept stable.
The doctors will make rounds twice daily. Every Monday they take
photos and evaluate the progress of the burns. Any third-degree burns
will be treated with surgery as soon as possible. Dr. Lane stated they
might begin surgery as soon as Wednesday. If they feel that Lance and
Carla are strong enough, they will take skin graphs for the
replacements. If not, they will use cadaver skin.The staff indicates that this is all normal in patients recovering
from the level of burns that they have.The BICU has six beds, total. Carla and Lance have their own nurse,
each, as well as the charge nurse and several attending physicians.
The staff nurse in charge today has over 20 years of experience in
burn treatment and therapy.Yesterday I watched them stabilize Carla after a drop in blood
pressure and, although it was frightening, it was also really amazing
how effective their treatment was.We will call the BICU tomorrow after rounds and update everyone with
their report. Both Mom and I returned home (SB and SF) but plan stay
with Carla and Lance again on Friday.Jason
Help Out Carla and Lance Hoffman.
Carla Hoffman is, bar none, one of my absolute favorite people in the comics blogosphere. She’s got an unbridled enthusiasm for the medium that can quickly be turned into a razor-sharp wit you don’t want to be on the receiving end of. Her husband, Lance, is a gentle bear of a man, all wrestler muscle and watchful eyes, with a warm smile and a basso profondo laugh that you hear weeks after you’ve met him.
As you probably know, they were caught in the recent fires that swept through Santa Barbara and have been placed in a burn unit, where they’re in critical-but-stable condition. Their home has been completely destroyed in the blaze as well, leaving them in pretty dire straits. More than anything, once they’re out of the hospital, they’re going to need money to get back on their feet again.
The Lance and Carla Burn Fund has been established for them at Santa Barbara Bank And Trust, located at 1483 East Valley Rd, Montecito, CA 93108-1248. I’m going to swing by my bank today and ask about transferring some money to them, and I’d really like to encourage everyone else to do the same. The second I know more information, I’ll get it out to you guys.
Edited To Add Currently, there is no way to directly transfer money to Carla and Lance’s fund. I dropped a check to them today via Priority Mail. Make your check out to The Lance And Carla Burn Fund and mail it to:
Santa Barbara Bank & Trust
1483 East Valley Road
Montecito, CA 93108-1248
Please make the effort, if you can. They’ll need all the help they can get.
The Rack: Subject to delays.
B. Birdie has got a bit of a thing involving his guts and eating seafood on the weekend, which means that he couldn’t quite concentrate properly when it came to drawing the comic. This is something I commiserate with, as I once had the norovirus and literally spent four days alternating between the bed and the toilet, clutching my stomach and screaming the entire time. You can check out some archives if you’d like and rest assured that the rest of the week will feature strips on each and every day! (Yes, even Thursday!)
J Jonah Jameson, by Cerebot
What I’ve Been Reading: Ghost Rider. No, seriously.
Ghost Rider: Hell Bent and Heaven Bound
Marvel Comics • $16.99 ($11.55 on Amazon)
Jason Aaron writes an enjoyably loud, stupidly entertaining pair of stories that treats Ghost Rider with the reverence to the source material he so obviously deserves. It’s hard to figure out if my favorite part of the first 2/3rds of the book is the cannibalism, the haunted highway, or the army of psychopathic nurses serving a rogue angel. Frequently very funny, Aaron’s script thunders along nicely (even if I wonder why Ghost Rider doesn’t just explodo the bad guys on the first encounter like he does in subsequent conflicts) and the art by Roland Boschi in the main arc is some of the most interesting I’ve seen in a “Big Two” book of late, joining a small group of Europeans (like Goran Parlov) in making books from Marvel easier on my eyes. Dan Brown’s colors also deserve some mention, as they’ve a painterly quality that ads tone and augments Boschi’s art instead of burying it under too many gradients. I can’t be the only one who’s growing weary of overcolored, too-”detailed” sequentials that lack any sort of soul while ensuring that a majority of books from a publisher look nearly-identical.
After Boschi’s work, the combination of Tang Eng Huat and colorist Jose Villarubia in the second storyline, “God Don’t Live In Cell Block D” takes a bit of getting used to, but thanks to lines like “You may have beaten our master, litte whore of heaven, but rest assured, hell will rise again,” and “And on that day, you will be nothing but a fleck of excrement on the boot heal of the great red dragon. Hail Satan!,” the transition was downright painless. A bit more focused than the first story, this two-parter ups the blasphemy stakes quite a bit, particularly in the conflict with the main villain of the piece and is a fun romp despite the Double Dragon / Bad Dudes vs Dragon Ninja plot of small-fights-leading-to-a-boss-battle. Aaron’s definitely onto something with one of those characters I’ve never thought much of, so I’ll be checking out future installments.
The Rack: The Title’s Kind Of A Spoiler.
And so the whole biological clock saga (or Bioclock 999 as we called it in editorial meanings) is over. Go see the last part and send us letters expressing your indignation at how we handled the topic. Or praise. We’ll totally take praise. Birdie, especially. He’s like a lap-dog with that stuff.
I’m just going to leave this right here for now.
As a followup…
…to this post, I offer an addendum that will likely blow your mind: Swedish dance bands of the 70s. I’ve never wanted a time machine more than at this very moment.
Reviews: Push #1 and Batman: Cacophony #1
Push #1
The writing team of Adam Freeman and Marc Bernardin do a passable job on Push, yet another Wildstorm tie-in comic, this time serving as a marketing leader on a movie that I didn’t even know was coming out. As a prequel, I have no idea how it relates to the source material, but as a comic on its own, it’s actually fairly well put together. Character bits buoy up the slightly-clichéd government-agency-with-hidden-motives plot and the visuals by new-to-me Spanish penciller Bruno Redondo (with inks from established erotic cartoonist Sergio Arino) has hints of several other artists whose work I’ve enjoyed while still hewing to what’s become a sort of house style for the DC imprint. Inoffensive and readable, but I forgot about it almost immediately.
Batman: Cacophony #1
Boy, Kevin Smith’s not a very good superhero comic book writer, is he? Characters chatter on and on; Batman’s wildly out-of-voice in his narration, which is saying something, considering how many interpretations of the character are out there and worst of all, there’s no reason to care unless you think Onomatopoeia was the great character find of 2002, as the execution leaves so much to be desired. Smith seems to be aiming squarely at the arrested development cases that ensured that Clerks 2 paid for itself: there’s a painfully extended anal sex joke and Batman calls Zsasz’s slaughter of two people an “unholy briss [sic]” because - get this - he used a scalpel! Even some nifty technobabble involving Deadshot’s costume and a Joker who somehow manages to recall the classic Englehart take on the character can’t save this sloppy mess that smacks of an inside joke (note artist Walt Flanagan’s presence) that somehow went a bit too far up the editorial chain.
A few Meta-ish things.
- I’ve done some playing around under the virtual hood and the site should run a bit faster for you all now. I may reduce the number of items on the front page to neaten things up a bit more.
- I’m getting a lot of spam that’s using addresses from a certain very large free email service run by Microsoft and ended up having to point them all into the Spam pit. While I’m trying to catch the good ones (Sallyp, I’m talking about you here,) there’s a chance you’ll end up in there and I might miss it. I’m sorry!
- I’m working under the assumption that the difference between “Reviews” and “What I’ve Been Reading” is obvious enough, even if the latter may have some sort of qualitative evaluation in it. It’s mostly just semantics, but sometimes I just wanna point out things versus giving you a thought-out opinion that could influence your buying decisions on Wednesdays.
The Rack: Apt Comparisons
Today’s installment of The Rack features Danny nerding out, something that Birdie loves drawing.
The Rack: Staff Picks For The Week Of November 11, 2008
Yes, my site was down for an abnormally long time, but the server that The Rack runs on was not affected. Go check out this week’s picks from the staff at Yavin IV.
